Clouds and Rain.

Where does the bloody time go, so there I was sat twiddling my thumbs, when I was hit with three good ideas for blogs and so I started to cultivate my thoughts and notes, when out of nowhere I was blindsided and the writing literally ground to a halt, and yes up until then it had all been good in the hood.

Healthwise my diabetes was still (and still is) kicking my ass but we had come up with a cunning plan to try and resolve some of the issues, that soon went sideways, technology wasn’t as good as we had hoped, I should have realised life was going to complicate things. Work was getting incredibly busy, nothing that couldn’t be handled (if my knees would play along, alas they wouldn’t) quite a few heavy days brought me to my knees (no pun intended) but I have started the push regarding my knees with the NHS (I think that there is a few blogs and quite a bit of bile to come out of this fiasco, watch this space) and then when I definitely wasn’t expecting it, “Bob” charged in from the rear, and gave my arse a bloody good chewing and then ran away barking in confidence, that he had screwed me over, he had, but I simply had no intention of going down without a fight, I know that took me by surprise, thankfully it was around four hours of quiet thinking and determination of not wanting to hit the rocks, thankfully could see that I was diligently trying my best not to go down without a fight and I was left alone, its great when people assume you are working hard, but they don’t realise that you are having a ghastly nightmare dealing with horrors of your own imagination.

The person more astounded than me was “Bob” as I shook the lethargy off and my funk while had not completely dissipated, I was on the best footing, the funk stayed with me all day, it wasn’t anywhere near as bad as I have had it, the cause was me simply ignoring the warning signs, the warning signs that I am fully aware of and I am usually prepared for, this was slightly different, but I was still to blame, and I felt guilty because of  it, I know it’s a daily battle with my issues and I need to be on constant guard, being reckless with my mental health only causes issues for me and the few people around me, thankfully I hadn’t decided to stand or fall on the day and I was able to keep two feet firmly planted in reality, if any of you were aware of the backwash, I can only apologise.

Once over the hump I was making sure that I was doing all the right things, its usually an upward trajectory after the event and thankfully that’s exactly what happened, but I was leaving markers open in case it flared up again. I was also trying to help the wife with her own issues which I think that she has turned the corner on, although I’m not cynical enough to think that she still has a hard road to endure, but I am there to help to share the load.

Thankfully it wasn’t all doom and gloom, yes there was clouds and rain, but I quite enjoy them, in my own way, I’m not a sunshine kind of person, I’m quite happy to have cloud cover and the smattering of raindrops, we even did something out of the ordinary and went to see the northern lights along with half of the county, it was like a scene out of “close encounters of the third kind” with so many cars abandoned at the side of the road, initially I thought we had missed it, but once we pulled the car over to a secluded layby and we actually got out of the car, well lets just say if I had a bucket list, that’s one thing that was ticked off, it was a thing of natural awesome beauty that we took the time to enjoy and appreciate, the only issue that I had was the amount of dead wildlife left on the roads with some of the nuggets whizzing around and small country roads, trying to get a better vantage point, the worst thing that was seen was a rather large owl, humans really don’t give a shit!

When I finally thought I was in a good spot for writing I then had technology issues, although  I have a couple of laptops I prefer to use to the steam driven one I have had for over 16 years, now the issue I believe is The Norton anti thingy majig, its turned into a highway robber, finding more and more issues and wanting more and more money to resolve these issues that I didn’t have before, time for a change I think I don’t mind paying for the protection but come guys one price to cover everything like you used to have, not like now you robbing ****************** continued at angryoldman.com . at over 56 minutes simply just to log on, I might have to use a newer model in future because that doesn’t take days to get started!

So I walked away rather than smash the laptop like Basil Fawlty, as I sat down  to type this I was almost felt Zen like (I did, almost) and I have sat here and simply let my fingers do the talking, I haven’t tried to censor myself, this is not my preferred style of writing but it appears to have worked …..today! so what of the three that I was working on, well I have the bare bones there its whether I can pick up the threads, I’m not promising anything let’s just see how it goes!

So there you go finally, I will have to be a little more diligent in looking after my fragile state of mind and my ideas that bloom like mould, that I start but don’t seem to be able to finish (oh look a butterfly) onwards is the order of the day, so look for the skies for incoming, keep spreading the disease, as for the name game 59 people took a guess and nobody and I mean nobody got it right, I was thinking of the Bruce Dickinson track, not what you lot came up with, lets see if anybody can get this one right, I actually think I will dig the album out for the Journey to work in the morning, so go enjoy the last day of the English Football season, and I wills ee you all soon enough , so until then stay safe and stay alive………………….Toodles!