Friday, 18 August 2023

"Not Bitter Just a Little Disappointed”


Not a problem simply a pause, the last two blogs have out stripped the previous twelve, and I’m happy with the content for once, as I sat compiling some thoughts for this blog, I realised I was yet again running on empty, my holiday simply can’t come soon enough.

Now I don’t want anybody thinking I’m in a bad place, because I’m not, at least I don’t think I am,  but the amount of crap (real and imagined) is wearing me out, I can’t wait until we head out into the bright blue yonder to cut the umbilical cord of home, so we can be alone with just our own thoughts for once. As the week has progressed I am generally just pissed off with life and any nuggets that are in it, so just a typical week really, but when you are running on empty it’s a little harder to be generous to, well anyone who will piss me off!

The cunning plan is gathering pace, we sorted out our holiday money last night, and bought a few bits and pieces (no credit card was harmed in the making of this blog). I treated myself to a music magazine (Rock Candy in case anyone is interested)to read on the plane and a nice new writing journal for the notes about the upcoming holiday, I am simply praying for it not to be Restrooms of the strip part 2, admittedly even in my weakened state, that was still the best holiday ever, I simply wish to be of sound mind and body so I can at least ingest food and alcohol this time around!

The mask has slipped as the days have moved from me being happy to being kind of grumpy (more to do with my diabetes than anything else), and I seem to head up the wooden hill a lot earlier than the wife, I don’t see why she should suffer because of my medical condition, a condition that makes me tired and even more irritable! My knees are causing me some grief so much so that I am considering to reach for the extra powerful painkillers, simply to take the edge off the gruelling grinding feeling that emits permanently from my knees, actually I might wait another night and just get pished (yes you read that correctly)  tonight, it’s been a while!

The only thing it would appear that I am motivated about is the blog, a holiday, some sleep, and a better diet is what I am praying for, (as you get older you will try anything including prayer). I have been scribbling away on various thoughts, but all of them were dark too dark, That’s not where I feel that I am at, nothing wrong with them, but I would prefer to be in a better place to air them, so they might arise in the coming weeks, however if they don’t gain any traction they will be gone, I have been swearing a lot this week, mainly at myself, the main thing I’m grumpy about is myself, I have become more insular than normal, but the language (thankfully in my head  as it would make a nun blush) has been rather blue!  I will give the wife permission to kick me in the seat of my pants if I don’t improve before we set off for the airport!

And that’s where I’m going to stop today, my aches and pains are worse as the day goes on, and I have a busy weekend ahead of me, then a ton of work to finish up, before starting the first of my three weeks of leave, yes the first week is at home, but then we fly to……….I will save that for next week……………maybes! Yes the name game is in play, I believe the artist is one of the most underrated songwriters of his generation! it kind of tells me where my head is today, I have been better, I also know I have been a damn sight worse off! Once finished I will spend the next few hours proof reading time and time again, as there have been significant gaps once they have posted to the page, the next one will appear sooner rather than later than this one did, simply as I will want refresh with something humorous as soon as I possibly can, so stay safe, stay alive and please don’t hold your breath for another blog, it is going arrive sooner or later however even Superman’s lung couldn’t  hold out that long! Don’t panic “Bob” isn’t stalking me, I’m simply a tad disappointed with the world in general, weary I believe is the word, so onwards as always I will return a lot sooner than you will probably realise, so until then……………….Toodles!

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