Friday, 30 April 2021

Face Behind the Scream.

Please don’t panic, the world really did start spinning again, this is the aftermath, so if you read the last one you will be aware the arse dropped out of my world for a split second, it seemed longer as I had been institutionalised and I didn’t know what was going on in the outside world, some nice people told me to breathe and pointed me off down the road!

So I applied for 142 jobs in the space of 4 weeks, yes I know I panicked and thought of quantity over quality, I didn’t believe in myself , thankfully others did, some of the applications are still to close but I didn’t care, I was third time lucky, I would have loved the first job at a local health authority, but there wasn’t really enough prep time as the NHS is ever so slightly different with their own standards, add in the fact I was like a rabbit in the headlights, come on first external interview in ages (I had hair, yes that long ago) they let me down easy and I got some excellent feedback, which I took on board and moved on.

The second one was a long shot and a big step backwards but it would have suited me, however the main man didn’t like me, I got the vibe straight away, he saw  me as a threat, the others loved me and could see what I could bring to the table, it again was a curveball, I simply didn’t wish to be unemployed, they kept me hanging around for a second interview and again the guy was so petty, simply picking on silly things I knew I hadn’t got it but part of me insisted that I still try my best, and I did, the other person in the interview was pissed because they liked me they knew what I was bringing to the table, it was a no in the end but at least I gave it a shot. The other person sent a short email saying that they were going to pass my information to other companies, and they were true their word, unfortunately all too far for me to travel to, but they thought I was worth a punt!

At this point I went off to the job centre, who were to be blunt no use to me, the chap was nice enough, pleasant and polite but couldn’t get me out the door quick enough, even the security guard apologised as I was escorted out, damn I’m old when did they need Guards, I lived through the Thatcher years there was no need for them then? I had to do it all online, I filled the form in and was told they would be in touch within five weeks, what the actual fuck, no help no humanity, no nothing, I know I have been employed for a long time but what about empathy and what if I had worked for a really shit company who folded and no redundancy, how the hell are you supposed to last 5 weeks with no money damn, I thought it was the eighties all over again that’s the 1880’s, I would rather rob a bank and do time than go through that again!

Cunning plans were blown out of the water and I had to endure the meltdown, but this is the new me I was formulating new plans before the dust had even settled, move on adapt and overcome and all that bullshit, all the while with my diabetes causing me all the same issues, pointless going to the dr’s they will simply start over again from the beginning, time to rely on me and suffer the consequences further down the road.

Then suddenly the clouds parted and there were rays of sunshine, an interview, me and the daughter did some reconnaissance, we found out how to get there (it was a long walk)  discovered that there was a limited bus service, morning and night for staff, good job done, we headed home and then did the same thing, only this time we used the bus service, it was all good and doable, the interview was a day long, yes you read that right, and not as intensive as I feared, I made notes before, during and after, I remembered all of the great advice I got after my first interview, I thought it went well and was pleased as I got home, the next day I got  a call from the agency lady who was dealing with my application (its all very technical these days) “you seemed nervous” they said WTF! They would like to do an informal chat on Monday, the weekend I was crushed I had done all the right things and been as positive as I could be, I over thought the whole day all weekend, the longer the weekend went the more my confidence was holed below the waterline (the first reference in many blogs). Monday came and I put a brave face on and tried to do my best, I needn’t have worried because I knew straight away, I had got it, the following days have been a blur, the wife says she won’t take my picture on my first day even though I am going to work in a place of education, am I happy about it, HELL YEAH!

For some reason over the last few days the previous blogs have been getting read and I realised I missed this, so the cunning plan was revised the idea of reviewing music will run along side all of this, the blog will return, long live the blog, as I realised I needed it more than I thought, so here we go again, watch the skies for more incoming, help me keep spreading the disease, but until then there’s only one thing to say………….Toodles!

 

And yes, the name game is in play, it’s a bit of a curveball see if you can guess it!

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