I know it’s a one hit wonder (but it helps the name game into the home stretch) but it kind of is what my mood has been like, thanks to my grandson who has lifted my mood if only for a little while, let me tell you a little bit of the week that has past!
To be honest although I almost completed my small list of
tasks that I wished to carry out, it did nothing to improve my mood, I was
generally grumpy, not with others, but with myself, thankfully I did not eat my
way through the house, I wanted to, but I was a reasonably good boy, simply
because I knew that it would not improve my mood, that in itself did not help
me, I was generally angry with myself for no other reason than I could be, I reverted
to jealousy a trait that rears its ugly head from time to time, something that
as a general rule I don’t like as I get older it flairs up from time to time, I’m
sure a qualified person could tell me why, me I’m thick (bless me) and I haven’t got a clue!
Thankfully these thoughts do not last long I know enough to
give my head a shake, again writing and music has not helped at all, I have
tried to lift myself out of the doldrums, I have to a small degree been successful
, but I know I still have a long way too go. As hard as I try “Bob” has been
nipping at my heels, again the sense of failure has been flooding through me as
I can’t shake him.
Furlough the second time around has not been helpful to my
mental health and its almost like a game of snakes and ladders, thankfully I am
still playing! The week has dragged and I only have myself to blame, thankfully
at the end of the week we agreed even though he is not in our bubble to have
our grandson, bless him he has his own issues and we will be there to support
him as best we can, he arrived on the Friday night and it has been (he is still
here as I type this up) a blur of activity to keep him occupied, thankfully he
has been quite good because at times he can be quite a handful, the change of environment
has kind of helped him and me, yesterday we went for a hobble, well I hobbled
and he scootered the youngest came along to look after me rather than the
grandson. The day dissolved into night and we had a few issues last night as
ours is an old house and he isn’t sure what these noises are.
He has been a godsend, knowing that he needs us is a good
thing, can we help just a little and he and his family need a slight respite
from each other, thankfully he dragged me from the depths of my despair and he
helped kick “Bob” squarely in the butt. We have a number of cunning plans for
today including another hobble, hopefully this will continue the upward curve
of my mood.
A really bad couple of night’s sleep hasn’t helped its
almost like “Bob” is trying to get around the fence to me, the intention is to
ignore him, tonight I intend to have a drink, yes alcohol simply to help me
stay asleep, my next plan is to sort through the tons and I mean tons of music I
have and simply get rid of stuff that I will never play ever again, sacrilege,
this morning out of 18gyg of music I kept two discographies and 12 other
albums! I know but simply not required, I need to have greater quality control.
My grandson being here this weekend has simply been a ray of
sunshine in the crappy rainy week that I have suffered, I am not beaten I know
that I have had a crap week but I will not be beaten, the numbers have been consistent
it almost seems like people have been getting snuggled down with pop corn to
enjoy some misery (only kidding) there have been some kind words from people
who don’t really have no connection other than this blog, hopefully this wont
change after blog 500, this blog is the first blog written on the “new” laptop I
finally bit the bullet but there have been some hiccups along the way that
certainly haven’t helped me with my mood, so watch the skies for incoming,
until the next time…………………………..Toodles!
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