Brute Force & Ignorance

I know, I know, stop kicking off at me, I have been busy, I got a life I had a small holiday from work, I had a small nervous breakdown at the end of said holiday, I fell out with the wife (again) I bought her some flowers (before we fell out D’oh) spiralled out into a bad case of overeating and general malaise and then I had to go back to work so that I could catch up with most of what I had missed, which in the grand scheme things was sod all, but it still did my head in, next time I have no intention of taking my works phone home with me, I know shit will happen even if I’m there or not , I need to stop stressing about what I have no control over, stop being passionate about my job and try and relax with the family………oops!

Not that all things were bad, just as always little things ate into my brains like two mad squirrels locked in a tin box that’s way too small for them, can you picture that scene, yes I know, I over think things, thankfully I am getting better as I get older (honest) I am in a much better place these days than I have been of late, I can’t help that I love my job, is that wrong? maybe it’s the fact not everybody else is in love with theirs and do as little as  they can possibly get away with, now that does drive me nuts.

For as long as I can remember I have always believed that the trajectory of us the human race has always been in a (I know I’m getting all philosophical on you lot) slow forward moving motion, OK so we did start off an initial burst of well ok we started with a bit of brute force and a hell of a lot of ignorance, but ever so slowly we improved as we pulled ourselves from the primordial sludge evolving (allegedly) into beings of a higher level of intelligence and compassion. I know I got that one way wrong (I’m hoping that what we are going through at the moment is just a momentary speed bump in the road of our evolution) as I sit and watch our world (again allegedly) evolve around us stupidity and violence seem to have the upper hand ( I don’t claim to be a rocket scientist but come on even I can see the problems).

We seem to have turned our intelligence against ourselves we continue to allow bad things to happen and we simply do not challenge them collectively simply because we are said to be “good people”  allegedly now I know most of you have been reading these blogs (and books) over a long period of time, you know even when I am full of doubt and pessimism and even despair at times I do try and overcome this, I don’t always succeed but I do at least try, we know that mad bad and dangerous things do happen, its all part of some great plan (or so we are told)  I am so hoping so and  that it’s not actually the Matrix after all, why not well simply because I never got the choice of a brightly coloured pill, I’m not a fan of mass drug taking anyway (alcohol was always the drug of my choice and I have not had a drop in over 5 months…..WTF) we normally (as a collective I’m not Clark Kent just a concerned onlooker) resolve the problem just in the nick of time and we simply continue on our way, but its getting harder and harder to do and sometimes I find other people in a similar funk as me at work distressed and disturbed, good honest hard working people, people who I care a lot about and don’t seem to have the ability to help them like I would or should be able to, again in other areas like feelings or simply in relationships, I now I’m aware it’s not just me!

Hippy Alert, I like being alive generally, I like most of the people who I associate with (mind you there’s millions of suggestions who Farcebook keep trying to foist onto me who I have no idea what’s so ever who the hell they are) by and large I don’t want to rain on anyone’s parade, that includes my ex partners or anybody else’s, life is way too short, but I also don’t want anybody raining on  mine, unfortunately  I don’t see a light at the end of the tunnel and the matches that I have are wet because some fucker keeps pissing on them, I may be more mature these days but I also dwell on things in a more adult manner (allegedly) and I don’t like it, I’m not a huge fan of what is happening. I may be in the body of a middle aged man, but inside I’m still the same 15 year old who wants to listen to music, chase girls and drink beer occasionally and then for the process to start all over again, well maybe not the chasing girls bit (I don’t think I was ever that successful at it) so can I simply have double dose of music please, friends are seriously ill and I cant help them mentally or physically, and boy do I want to help them! the wife is not in a good space at the moment and again I keep trying to throw her a life belt but it always seems to on a rope that is way too short,  that doesn’t mean I’m not going to stop offering her my support if she needs  it. these things happen to everybody not just us, a little bit of luck would be nice every once in a while for everybody out there not just for me and mine, I feel that we are slipping backwards not forwards, since when do we stop helping our fellow man, we all need somebody at some time and if ever there is anything I can do to help please let me now, because if you help just one person trust me our lot will be an ever improving one, lets try and use the intelligence we were given and not fall into the trap that liars and the snake oil salesmen are trying to lump on us and a lot of us seem to be falling for it…………rant over honestly

Now this wasn’t the blog I intended, but its what has flowed from  my pen and keyboard today, so I’m going to post it and I will take the abuse and any kind comments that come my way, life is not a rehearsal you only get one chance make sure that you have an excellent road crew to assist you with load ins as well as load outs and that will get you through, friends come and go, people die people go through good times and bad times and I cant thank the people who have helped me over the years enough, you are some damn good peeps out there, whether they know it or not I will always be there for them, so for the future cunning plans abound (I just as always need to make it to pay day……again) watch for the skies as I have a historical one brewing, I simply do not know which band I want to write about, but I’m guessing it could be……………wait until the next blog to find out!

So keep spreading the disease as the numbers have been fantastic even during yet another sabbatical, honest I simply haven’t had the time, I have had the inclination but time rules everything, as soon as the numbers drop on this one the next one will appear, that’s a threat not a promise (me with my reputation) so until the next time …….I suppose its Toodles!