The boy in the radio

It seems to me that the biggest, most single momentous choice of our lives is the one that none of us gets to make. (do we actually get too make any choices in our matrix style existence) I'm talking about the decision to be here, to be alive. Now before I digress into the choice of leaving this life, a subject best suited for handwritten notes left on the bed stand, let's investigate the initial premise. Simply put, we all arrive here screaming, crying and covered in goo, without prior consultation. Or so it appears. If in fact we were part of the decision to become cognizant, the memory of that process has been completely wiped from our consciousness. But what if it were retrievable? What if we could become aware of the primary decision to live, the fateful choice to participate in the world of time, energy and form? Wouldn't that improve our daily condition? No matter how difficult and confusing life was, we would always be clear on one thing, "I asked to be here. This is my choice." Of course, there's another option to consider. We are here against our will. The unending cycle of birth, life and death is a sentence. We are souls in prison. But that grim, Matrix-like scenario falls apart the minute you ask how hell on earth could possibly include Music…………. oh and chocolate?

I have been beavering away with various projects and other things in a slow kind of way, pottering on here and there and the blogs have been pottering along as well so why piss in the pool if they are ticking over, I have been playing lots of glorious music and getting ready for my week of hell next week however I am looking forward to a week of bus seat bingo and an MP3 player full of new music, 7 days in and then 7 days off, more music more blogging and generally getting up to mischief, well that’s the plan!

Numbers have been going in the right direction I have to keep blogging otherwise I will lose myself in watching thousands of Princes performances on YouTube, love him or hate his performances were indeed mind blowing, I have been weening myself off the purple one by playing lots of Prog (no chance of getting funky to some good old fashioned Prog) at the moment Lonely Robot is my favorite, find it and check it out, some of you will understand why I like it! Because I haven’t had to worry about numbers (well you know what I mean) the musical distraction has indeed been a godsend, although it hasn’t helped me with work I failed an exam last week for various reasons, music being mixed in amongst them, don’t worry I resat and passed it today! I still find it amazing that music can still inspire me like that 7-year-old all those years ago!

Life has been going (so far) in a positive direction, life is still crap my health is still fucked but I am making the best of a bad situation, and I’m happy that for some reason I have been happy, ha I could be happier, but I will take what I have at the moment, the black cloud has been dispatched to the far horizon, I don’t think it likes my taste in music (Lonely Robot, honest go find it you will love it) I’m sure he will make an appearance over the next few days, my intention is to have some fun and to leave the confines of my dark back room, the wife doesn’t believe me, but I do intend to have a go (watch this space) I need to break the cycle of chaining myself to a rock in some dark dank place (ok my dining room with the lights out) again I’m hoping for inspiration and a modicum of good weather.

Hopefully I will stay on track with the blogging I only slightly deviated from my course (again it was the music that did it) my only concern for the coming week is a new piece of kit (electronic hand held device) that doubles up as a phone and allows me to send my work straight to somewhere on the interwebby…………………...I broke the last system, oh well in for a penny in for a pound, let’s see how long it is before I am suicidal or trying out for the Olympic throwing of hand held devices team, I’m sure you will be some of the first people to know about it, and that’s me done in a slightly positive way, keep spreading the disease, until the next time Toodles!