As we all start to feel more and more disconnected from reality, as I feel more and more alone, my phone confidently connects me to the outside world and all within the blink of an eye! as the world and its inhabitants feels more and more lost their phones calmly knows how to reconnect us all with the greater points of our lives, Farcebook, Twatter and Giggle, it helps us remember who the actor was who played Cop number three, you know the one on the left of the screen the one with limp!
My/Our phone(s) smugly recalls literally everything I/We increasingly struggle to remember, how to use the Nouns, Verbs and Adjectives that once stood proud at the front of my brain (who the hell am I kidding) ready to articulate my thoughts, oh boy do I miss those days, back in the day when I wasn't a sheep and I could think for myself! my phone taunts me with all the words I have ever written, there can only be one possible conclusion, slowly but surely I have somehow outsourced my mind my consciousness to my phone and to make matters worse the bloody thing knows it.........and just for fun its starting to fuck with me!
Several times over the course of the week I feel it vibrate (ooer missus) in my pocket, alerting me to the fact that some vital critical information has arrived, but then when I get intrigued there's fuck all there, damn and blast it machine GRRRR! No email no Farcebook notification, was the buzz in my brain? was the tingle in my pants something else? (I doubt it) no, I know its just my phone doing what it does best, its fucking with me, and its not just mine its all of them!
They are working together in cahoots or however you wish to word it, systematically robbing us of our own independent intelligence, (at what point time did duck faces become popular? oh I know the arrival of the mobile phone camera) our humanity and we fawn over these pieces of technology and make ourselves more reliant and subservient (stupid) they have every intention of taking over , its just a matter of time that the latest IPhone or whatever popular brand will be fitted with an opposable thumb, oh yeah I can see it now, they are smart (phones) world domination starts right here right now!
I have to call the world and start to tell people that the end is nigh.........oh great I have no bars! dear god what is happening.........................don't worry I can feel the medication kicking in drooooool.
This was written in happier times last year and I kept it in the vain hope I might find a place to post it, I'm in a good place (mentally) at the moment so I thought I would have a tinker, although it is true at what point in time did Banana, Doors, Farcebook, Twatter and Giggle ( not the real corporate names but I really don't wish to be sued for having an opinion I'm sure that you are all bright enough to work out who I mean) we are driven by technology as I sit here typing this the wife is the only one not using technology (for a change) there's usually three different bits of kit being used for three different purposes, maybe that's why the family life is so disconnected, damn here's me trying to be witty (me with my reputation) life used to be so much simpler (just like me) LOL!
The last blog went through the roof triple digits within forty eight hours, all I can say is wow and thank you, you made a depressed person so damn happy over those days, and although its still going strong I feel the need to get this one out, just to keep my feet on the ground, the weekend has been so busy and probably another blog to keep you all in the loop about what has been going on in my life, the house is going to be just that little bit more quiet come tomorrow but that will be the next blog so watch this space. again thank you for all of the love, likes, shares or whatever it you lot did to spread the disease until then watch the skies................Toodles!
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