You know its not a good start if I use a Gary Barlow song title for the blog, this one will be very short, issues have arisen (my issues no one else's) I had one bad night sleep, my first since the end of the CBT treatment and since then every thing has been off kilter, I don't want to mix I don't want to play and if I'm honest I really don't want to write.
Writing though usually helps (hence the little blog) I was looking for stuff to read generally to take my mind off how shit I feel my life has become, of my own making I know, but hey I'm surprised I lasted this long before spiralling off. I stopped on a lyric website (I have no idea why) and stopped on the Gary Barlow song and the lyrics just slapped me right in the mush!
So now I have to man up and drag myself back to reality and away from being morose, so that's what I will do, the reason for the blog was to man up and admit I had an issue and to let everybody know I was being a pain, I need to stop this thought dead in its tracks otherwise it will drag me back to the blackness that I seem to be craving at the moment.
Anybody who has suffered depression before will understand this, I have drawn a line in the sand and I await the assault on me and I pray that I'm man enough to deal with the issues that are about to assail me, I feel stronger and more confident in dealing with these things (I hope)but the feeling of being sick of my crap life and my in ability to climb out from underneath the wreck that is called life, so until the storm passes......................Toodles
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