Blogging was the last thing on my mind I even stopped checking numbers for a short while, I had a blog sorted (still got it, I might even post it at the weekend)then I ran into technology issues and then a wall of self pity, and then everything went tilt, right then mother earth did what she does best and basically told me to saddle up it's going to be a bumpy ride, I set about looking after the wife who had been poorly for nearly seven weeks (I'm sure that I may have mentioned this I'm not trying to score points of sympathy for what happens later on in the blog)and I was concerned, dammit I even used the telephone to talk to .........another human being that's how concerned for the wife I was, a funny one step forward four steps back kind of illness, I had a trip to London for work and I couldn't get out of it, the wife was getting cranky and I knew how this would play.
As I said I was concerned the good lady of the house was hacking and hacking and hacking some more and not sleeping not a great mixture, the youngest actually had to come back from the kraken's and look after her mother, I had a trip to do and it wasn't what I wanted to do, the wife had attempted to go to work, and was sent home immediately, not before being a super trooper and collecting my train tickets for the jaunt, she came home and collapsed on the settee, coughing and wheezing just a tad, Sunday came and the youngest collected all her stuff up in a bundle and came home (via taxi)and we sent mother off to bed we then spent the day sorting out me for my journey, my taxi was booked for first thing in the morning.
Clothes sorted and bag packed we hit the hay and I soon drifted off to the delicate sound of thunder that was my wife trying to cough her lungs out! all the alarms were set but I needn't have worried I was awake long before they went off and I nimbly (just means I didn't fall over anything in the dark) picked my way through the Chinese laundry that is our bedroom, I was booted and suited long before I had to be, and I was even at the taxi office across the road a good ten minutes before I had to be, the driver was over the moon it meant that I wasn't going to impact on his regular early morning pick ups and I was deposited at Central Station in Newcastle a good fifty minutes before my train was due to leave, and there's me thinking that my wife is the only demon driver on the road, to be honest we never saw another car on the road until we hit the car park so it was never going to take that long to get there!
I arrived at the platform to find out that the train had developed a fault and we were going to be travelling on a smaller train (it was still fecking huge) so we were split all over the place instead of being together, that didn't last long as one of our party had more neck than a giraffe and we soon all together again chatting and enjoying first class travel and all that goes with it, free drinks breakfast (which was yum yum) while others dozed I sat and people watched there's just as many freaks in first class as there is in a bus heading to the asylum on a regular jaunt to work.
As it was early morning most of the journey was done with the outside world in total darkness, I dozed slightly (me with my reputation) when I woke up I noticed there a small but delightful field of windmills which made me smile (hey what happened to me) we arrived at our destination while all the regular travellers jockeyed for position like troops spilling out of a landing craft on D day on one of the beaches waiting for the machine guns to starting spitting out their lead kisses ..........actually it didn't happen and we gathered our belongings and joined the massive throng of people pouring out the station towards the taxi rank like ants looking for something sweet! the lines were huge but a young chap soon marshalled us and the rest of us clones like cattle to the slaughter!
Our taxi driver was cheerful cheeky chappie who had us in stitches going on about that clan of rats who were everywhere, yes you guessed it "cyclists" what made it really funny was one of the nuggets coming off after a particularly spectacular suicide bid in a busy junction and jumping up as though nobody had noticed, every taxi driver tooted and shouted at him to let him know we had all seen it, I have nothing against two wheels but some of the moves that these people tried it appears that most are trying to die in a wonderful way so they can top the Darwin awards! we were soon ensconced in the London headquarters of the company that I sell my soul to just to keep a roof over our heads, it didn't start well as we had to listen to an insurance bod telling us without the aid of his PowerPoint presentation how we were at the vanguard of saving our company millions of pounds (no shit Sherlock) nice to see I'm not the only doofus when it comes to technology the meeting wasn't starting well we weren't even in a meeting room we were in the ground floor canteen, and we were all sat on benches like at school, after a lifetime the insurance man was wrestled to the ground and we ascended the lift to the third floor meeting room it got marginally better from there on.....only just!
I'm not going to give you a blow by blow account of fire safety in the nations shopping centres lets just say it was...........enthralling..................NOT! the day drifted on and then I received a text that cut my legs from under me, my best friend (the fittest person I know) at work announced he had been given weeks to live after a nearly a year off fighting the disease we all fear, it came back with a vengeance and my mind didn't stay in the meeting I retreated into what I do best I headed for a window and the skyline of London, I showed my boss who had been part of our travelling group the text and he was just as shocked as I was, the day had taken a dark turn, for once I didn't have a lot to say in the meeting I let others kick off when the need called for it, I was glad when the meeting was over (nearly 70 minutes over time) I just wanted to get back out in the street, my works phone had been capable of receiving texts in our head office but for some reason my personal phone hadn't, it soon sprang to life spitting out texts from friends and others talking about the news that had been announced, there was also a text from the Kraken.................no wait it was from the wife who was asking why I hadn't asked how she was, I couldn't believe the message I had been conversing with my daughter while my wife slept I resisted the urge to phone in a crowded taxi and kick off, I got to my hotel room and she get the message before I kicked off in atomic style I wasn't happy!
The wife had gone into spiteful mode (I know she was ill and I was concerned) but I was there for work and not some jolly jaunt, if I could have gotten out of it I would have (mind you in the long term it seems that I made the right decision to go) we danced like boxers looking for an opening thankfully nothing presented itself because the argument would have been ugly and we would both have been losers, not our finest moment, but something the wife does every time I go away (see previous blogs under the heading of paying for other peoples idiosyncrasies and being accused of being the same...........REALLY) I never go away with tons of money in my pocket we never have any ..........carried on at wifeandhermoneyishers.com, a meal had been organised and as always it turns into a long winded effort paid for by the managing director, its a time to chat and get to know each other, again I wasn't the fool I sat at the end of the table not wanting to mix, I didn't want to kill the night but I really didn't want to be there, I'm glad I wasn't drinking or paying for it as a pint would have been £8 a pint, others made up for my abstinence! I seemed to be waiting ages for our main course to arrive actually nearly an hour after the starter was trotted out and scoffed, the starter was decided for us and it was Mezz not what I wanted, but the easiest way to deal with us, a few people stopped by at my end of the table it would appear I have made an impression of people who I only usually see about once a year, I'm not the solitary island I seem to think of myself and I received one or two invites to go and visit and cast my opinion over their fiefdoms, maybe later in the year you never know, mind you it has been agreed that the next meeting shall be in my neck of the woods, that could get messy I hope the wife reads this as I am giving plenty of notice of my intention to show them all a great time!
Finally my main course arrived (I went with a lamb shank please see attached photograph ) and I devoured my meal in eleven minutes I then cut out from the restaurant to make two phone calls one to my friend which is probably one of the hardest things I have ever done and then to the wife to mend fences that we had both kicked down over nothing thankfully we did and I was in bed by twenty past nine in London and I slept the sleep of the dead until four thirty where I sat up like someone had kicked me right in the slats (the wife doing her Kraken impression with a voodoo doll of me perhaps) it was at that moment I realised I had gone to bed and not taken my medication damn I felt like hammered shite, I made a cup of tea had my chocolate hob nobs and waited, went for a walk, my hotel was right next to the London eye so an early morning jaunt along the embankment was a welcome relief, I lived here for nearly three years on and off over thirty years ago I realised now I never once stopped to smell the roses I barely know the place I waited for the sun to show its face, I went back to the hotel and have my ritual bath, then spent time waiting some more just wanting to go home and see my cantankerous wife who would just shout at me a bit more, I was done and deflated, I waited for the crew to descend for breakfast, the boss was paying so I certainly waited, some familiar faces (drunken bums) over the breakfast I ate my fill, old habits die hard and now everybody knew why I wasn't my best the previous night, mind you I would have still been in bed by ten hahahahaha the rock and roll life style I'm not allowed, we said our goodbyes and checked out and headed our own separate ways!
we got back to Kings Cross with plenty of time and while the coffee junkies went off in search of a fix, I was Jonesing for my own and I sat and wrote in a sidewalk café about my adventures in the big smoke which consisted mainly of waiting. I very nearly turned into my dark pet I'm so glad I hadn't and the warm journey back to the (proper) north was soon over, and the second breakfast of Chicken Tikka Masala was lush yum yum! a minor complication soon presented itself when I couldn't find out where to get the bus home..............GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR, thankfully a friendly member of our wide awake club at work (that's the police to you) came to my assistance and I was back in Gimpsville by three in the afternoon safely back in the prison of my own making I mean the arms of my loving Krak....I mean wife...........I'm sure she will see the funny side of this (NOT).
Did I enjoy my time away, of course not as always I was made to feel as guilty as a husband fucking off to Benidorm for a stag do! I should have, but as always outside factors kicked in and I very nearly spun off into the direction of darkness, at some point I need to address that, maybe when I can get someone's undivided attention, these meetings are a necessary evil they are about networking and creating a team of people who can do the job better when they go forward as a team, damn who knew I would be an adult one day, when did that happen? my job I love it, I don't care much for some of the politics that go with it, let me just crack on and do it,
mind you a lottery win would help oh dear as if!
And that's what I have been up to, lots more work and early rises, trying to catch up but it dawned on me today I remember that the creator of Dr Suess once said Don't cry because it's over Smile because it Happened! and on that note Toodles!
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