I have to have an official picture for work and the guy who comes to do it (who I get on with really well) hates having to work with me, we nearly came to blows over him asking me to smile the first time he had to attempt to get my portrait, thankfully he took the hint and over the years we have sorted out the line in the sand he knows why I don't like my picture so he doesn't try to coax a super model shot out of me, he stands in front of me takes three pictures and that's your whack, no fancy poses and no fancy lights any touch up has to be done in the computer as his assistant was nearly bitten by me when she produced a powder brush (GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR).
I have had my picture taken, with my good lady wife by the wonderful if not even grumpier than me Chris Harrison we had a few hours in Jesmond Dene and had some wonderful shots taken, Chris is great and if you are after some couples pictures (no not rude .....mind Chris does do that kind of thing) find him out there in the big bad world, he does a fab job and its very natural there's one of me and the wife in black and white as long as I live I don't think anyone will ever take a better picture of me than that, and the beauty of the photo (no not me) I didn't even know he had took it.
I have no comprehension of why people have to pucker up and strike a pose, again not a complaint, just an old man trying to understand, there's a young contractor who has been working for me at work and he has over 6000 shots of him (and his quiff) on instagram .....WTF! but its not just him it's everybody, even I joined in,and so far in 11 weeks I have taken about 8 shots I suppose I must try harder (and join the human race).
At school I only ever had one group picture taken in senior school (first year I believe) and a solo shot in my last year, however because we never bought the photo's after the first one I was never asked to participate because ho hum what was the point, this was actually said to my mother at the time which basically lit the blue touch paper (hence the photo from my last year). from the age of one up to the age of sixteen you would be hard pushed to find 20 photographs of me, I know this as I have all the pictures from my mothers collection when she passed on.
There are more pictures of me with my Peter Griffith mask when we went off on a jolly jaunt to Las Vegas then me as a young person, now I'm not saying there's not any pictures of me out there I'm just saying that they are extremely rare. I am trying really hard not to spoil peoples pictures if they try and snap me, I remember a particular evening someone took 32 pictures and didn't get a decent one without me being rude obscene or a fugitive from the FBI! in reality she just wanted a snap shot of a lovely group of friends having a great evening and I spoilt it, see I really am trying to mature as an adult (HAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHA) sorry where was I?
At the celebrations for 25 years at work I attended every photo shoot for the celebrations however I ducked in every shot and you won't find me in one and trust me they tried really hard, mind you I was just doing what comes naturally at work..........testing people ......well something like that. I solemnly swear I am up to no good ...........no I mean honest I will try harder.
This blog came as I sat and watched a group of pensioners taking selfies on the plague carrier home and it set me thinking if they can join the new world then so can I, the name game for the blogs is back in play, if you are not sure what I'm on about, the blog titles are all songs that I'm listening to at the time typing up this (drivel) I mean work of art, and people from all over the world try and guess who or what it is, now most of you are a bunch of cheating B******Ds and you obviously Google the bloody thing but some people (Hello Nils) do have a go, this one should be quite easy although I'm not holding my breath, no prizes just huge amounts of mockery from me if you get it wrong. The fan base is growing and although I have had a few complaints about having abandoned the website, look this is me trying to cheer myself up and I'm a luddite, I'm no whizz kid it is what it is if you have any complaints send them to KISSMYASSANDSWIVEL.com.
I seem to have hit a rather large group of Italians and Scandinavian readers of late and again thanks for the compliments (although Per I don't think reading my blog is really going to help you understand us Brits any easier) the demographic is also spreading before I would have said its between the 30-40 age group, these days its more the 20- 60, so well done everybody and as always keep spreading the disease click those share and Like buttons lets get the numbers up to where they used to be, and that's me done I have a day from hell tomorrow mainly catching up on my reports and inspections but I have teaching session tomorrow so I should at least have some fun as I try a coax out of a group of teenagers "can I get a hell yeah" I don't do normal teaching....hell no! so watch the sky and play nice until the next time...........Toodles!
oh and here is a picture of me as a I look now.............................
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