And again I get deviated from what I intended to do (oooh a butterfly) and the last blog randomly generated did good numbers and got some great responses so that lifted my tired spirits, I had intended to blog again the next day but with good numbers I didn't want to dilute the good will, so I went off in search of inspiration, started a number of ideas and here are more than a week later with me going D'OH!
Positivity has returned in most aspects of my life except work but with a light at the end of that particular tunnel with regards that particular problem, I will keep trying to do my best, I have a hell of a blog gestating so watch this space! for a lot of these last few days I have been travelling on a plague carrier more than normal, and with only one bout of sleepy time I have been generally been writing down tons of random thoughts, these will be randomly dispensed throughout this blog.
"I wonder if the infra red beam used to trigger taps and toilets might cause cancer?"
Therapy has been a bit of a nuisance (in a good way), I'm sure it's meant to be, but it's focusing on me in this present time, so I'm not really enjoying that but you will discover that when the new book arrives (very soon boys and girls very soon) it's something I am putting more and more work into at the moment, soon the polishing begins then I will have to work out all over again how to publish the bloody thing!
"I might just set up a walks with broken hoop twitter account just to be controversial"
I have done this and although I have posted some good stuff I have but one person following me (thanks Mr Harrison) so go find me I know I have the potential to hit double figures so do the deed or I might go on a down wards spiral ......NOT! it's for fun and for random crap that wouldn't/couldn't make it into a blog normally.
"damn I just realised that most modern technology laughs at me!"
My mind is generally busy in totally random ways and usually I use it not to dwell on my many thousands of issues.....well maybe not thousands, just crap all the time and I believe this is why I get bogged down in my book projects (I have about 11 on the go which truthfully if I don't pull my finger out and concentrate will never come to fruition) what starts off in a good vibe usually gets dragged to the dark side and gets the fuck kicked out of it by my neurosis, hopefully when my therapy ends I might revisit and salvage some of the better material.
"I might write a children's book but then again I might just dye my hair blonde.....again"
My mind rarely stays in one place and sometimes I have great ideas and very rarely do I have some thing to write all of these down, normally I could just be looking out of the plague carriers window trying to avoid/annoy the incoming passengers but something will set the juices flowing (oh look a butterfly) and I insist that I will remember long enough to get it onto paper, but normally when I do put pen to paper it has dried up and died as its been too long since it received sustenance.
"Ah just fuck off and die!"
Thankfully of late my mind has not been full of blackness just tons of shit that I really do need to sort through, put it in some form of order so that my life does not get bogged down by crap (like it normally does) interacting with some of you peeps also helps and that's why I intend to climb back on the rocking horse and blog more, the book and treatment has been sucking me dry so to speak and always I'm concerned of muddying the waters if I put too much stuff out there so I have to find that balance all over again!
"Custard cream or Hobnob?".....................As if!
I intend to avoid getting my life in a rut and the that is what I am trying to concentrate on, as I head to wards oblivion, OK so I'm nearly fifty I realised that the last few years I have ground to a bloody halt. it hasn't helped but the only person who can deal with it is me, thankfully helpful people (you know who you are) have nudged my boat out into the eddy's of a stronger current so that this boat can be lifted off the sand banks that I have endured off late.
"Bus seat bingo or shall I be boring today?"
I will to admit to missing my friends, not just the ones I have now, but the ones I used to have and although I wish for good times again with this little band of people I know deep down that the world has moved on, it appears we didn't need each other anymore and we moved on (did they or do they miss me as I have missed them?), they all know where I live but they never visited, although some would say I knew where they live but didn't do it either, what with my issues and the state police watching my every move ( I will get tons of shit for that last remark) it has never happened and this is partly as to why my little black cloud moved in and didn't pay it's fair share of the rent! I occasionally bump into people from school, peeps who I was friendly with and they re introduce themselves into my life for just a short period of time and they are more than welcome, I don't think I was that memorable or even that popular as a child (yes I did have friends but not a lot of them) and don't really want to suffer any rejection to confirm that particular statement so as always I keep a low profile, a lot of people never believe it but I am and have always been very shy!
"mmm rain"
The good weather is not helping me believe it or not I don't mind good weather but my eyes do, I always walk around like a bloody china man (no racism intended) but also the fact that I am a fat person the heat just wipes me out, and lets be honest there's a lot of us fat people and when you get on the a plague carrier it smells of cooking pork.......go figure!
"oooh a butterfly"
My mind sometimes just goes around and around in circles it's not always a good thing and at times it is way too easily distracted, I need to find a hobby and sooner rather than later, lots of people say I have a great hobby (writing) but to be honest if I didn't blog I probably would be certified I really do need to get out of the house more and not just for work.
"bored again maybe I should blog!"
Blogging is great but I need to rediscover the person who didn't give a shit, and I would go where ever when ever, nowadays a trip to a hospital by myself is an exciting adventure for this boy blunder what ever happened to the guy who wake up and go fuck it I'm off to...........wherever !
"oh a piece of candy"
Blogging although exercises the mind doesn't help the fat boy blunder typing away here, its the world I need not sat indoors typing all day every day, my long list of small chores is testament to that. it's not just for me that I want do better generally in life it's also for my family, wife, kids and grand kids, I'm sure you get the picture there is no real reason why I should be Mr Grumpy all of the time!
" maybe I should just quit blogging"
I actually tried it, and I wasn't happy for the longest time, so for now I shall keep plugging away, go find me on twitter, go look a the web site I set up and ruined in the same day, go buy some books you tightwads and most of all press like on whichever social network you use spread the disease, the stronger we get the better (hopefully t will get0 until next time, which hopefully will be sooner than you think, enjoy your time with family and friends keep watching the sky for incoming .....Toodles!
No comments:
Post a Comment