Touch too much (cock).

Yes I know I'm just a tad late but I have been suffering, have a read, hopefully that will explain!

22-12-13.

Today was a lazy day just us to contend with so we did what we do and that's ......actually not a lot, we still had to get ready for the Tee Hee Xmas bash, but other than that a quiet day was to be had. For dinner I was cooking duck simply because I was actually cooking for two and not the multitudes that I normally do for. It was nice and was laid back for a change, I did enjoy it but for me there's never enough meat to satisfy my carnivorous needs (I can see me turning into Ted Nugent any minute)on a duck. I did the dishes, we got ready and then it all turned to rats crap we couldn't find keys, hats, etc.. you know the score, and so we were soon on our way only about ten minutes late (which is good for us) and a slow ride to our destination wasn't too bad and only a smidgen of abuse for slow drivers in our way.

Upon arrival we were forced to sing carols, ok so I sang Black metal, but hey ho I sing what's in my head not what's requested! as always we were welcomed with open arms, and G looked as though he was indeed suffering (just an ickle bit) we sat and exchanged presents and as always made cunning plans (all the while I sat counting my internal organs) we headed out for a couple of cheeky pints and to say cherry mistmas to our friends south of the Tyne.

We soon had control of the high ground, but G was suffering, possibly the worst I have ever seen him in all the time I have known him, however he was a man and gainfully gained the upper hand of the soda and lime (ok it was a pint I just wanted to spread rumours of his manliness) I felt over dressed everybody was out in big coats scarves hats and gloves and there's me out in just a shirt (ya big girls .....continued at theqeitcunit.com ack ack) ok so the roads had been icy but there was no snow (actually there was when we got home) G wasn't the only person suffering to be honest I felt I had the Burundi drum tribe bashing away in my head (and the real reason why this is late) but the wife was still suffering after her little procedure, so we did the sensible (WTF) thing and headed for home on the way back as we passed nightmare pool I said "should we get petrol"? oh how I laughed at the reply "no we have enough to get home" just past the point of no return to return to nightmare pool, yes you guessed right the petrol light came on and we for the second time this year were saying our prayers to get to the next petrol station, which was all the way home because everybody else was shut (ya bastards!).

After getting back to Gimpsville because of the beer I was starvingated but everywhere we went was shut it felt like one of those conspiracy thingymabobobs! Like Kennedy or some such shite. we decided to go home make something for ourselves and to get the turkey out for the dinner on that damn day, we wanted to be sure we weren't killing any bugger on the day. as I got it out (the turkey you pervs) I actually said that Xmas starts here!

23-12-13.

I went to work and my head was splitting all day as always I kept a low profile and headed home as soon as possible even though I had to head halfway around the world just to get there, I came home and simply vegged, I also had to look after the Hurricane which I hadn't planned on. I noticed a friend request from Nigeria (here we go again) and I had to send more emails to Farcebook saying my friend was back (trying to hack me) an earlyish night, I was hoping these bloody drummers would really just fuck off.

24-12-13.
They didn't! if anything they were worse and most of my day was wiped out lying in the living room with the curtains pulled, not trying to sleep but trying to get some peace for my head, around three in the afternoon it started to disappear and I was able to get up and try and crack on with my chores when whoops a daisy I blew chunk and I felt great after that ( I know just a tad too much detail)  and the rest of the night went......OK, if you have read most of  the previous blogs/books you will understand I don't care for Xmas eve but I got over the hump had a great night with family and hopefully I wasn't too much of a pain in the ass!

25-12-13.
The day arrived along with the drummers but thankfully nowhere near as bad as the previous day we all got up really late (is that bad of us) and then I had a brief little episode in the kitchen while sorting out dinner! It didn't last long I was able to shake off the crapness I was feeling and got on with the day. everybody was visiting us so I was expecting a meltdown of epic proportions however The Kraken was on her best behaviour and I have to admit it wasn't anywhere near as bad as it could have been, everybody taken back to where they needed to be we settled and just lazed, something that we don't do very often, and all was good in the world .....what could possibly go wrong?

26-12-13.
Actually not a lot other than these feckers bashing away in my head, I know I will need to speak to my quack just upping my blood pressure medication may not do the trick, so I suppose I will have to try and see the great white medicine man (yeah right). another lazy day with tons of work to do, but I simply couldn't kick start my interest (my reasoning was if I wasn't blogging I sure as hell ain't grafting) and that has really set the blue print for the rest of the time, the wife hasn't been 100% and I know I haven't, I know that I need to draw a line in the sand and do what I have been bleating on since I had my knees sorted, and that's get a grip and lose the weight I have been piling on, it is the only way that I will stop the banging in my bloody head.

So here we are today and although I have cooked a dinner for just me and the wife (pork for those of you who are interested), this being alone together is quite nice (who would have known) I have really only had one hissy fit (that's not related to my problem) and I have generally had a healthy (for me anyway) approach to the holidays, some walking wouldn't go amiss and then eventually some cycling would help, but lets see how it goes from here,. I will have to get all my work in order and maybe do a little tonight (ish) but I know I will have to knuckle down and get cracking with some of the older stuff, my get up and go has most certainly got up and fucked off, I just want to be better for new years eve so that we can at least do one of our cunning plans, a bit of practice for the Saturday night when we will once more step foot into the robbers den just to see if it has improved any?

As for the rest of the cunning plans ( a holiday in Vegas, one where I'm not ill, a winter holiday in Soll with some mad Bastards actually madder then G &E, quit work, buy a new house, not have to harvest any organs, just have some disposable income ......plot our fiftieth birthday bash! to name but a few) actually start my treatment from the NHS, not bad I suppose now that I am now on the waiting list, I only asked for help in May.....but that also slows down the pace of the new book which I have started advertising on Blurb.com but if truth be told it could be a long way off depending on when the treatment starts, get healthy do something with my life rather than just sit here online all the time, you never know it might help the blogs.

Ah yes the blogs, they have been doing exceedingly well although the page has hit some minor malfunctions on the stats page for me, however they do all pile in at the end of the week and the page is averaging nearly 200 hits a week with some of you lot rereading the older blogs, I approach the magical 200 figure mark for the blog so I will have to work on something a tad more memorable for that one. the books have been getting phenomenal stats even though nobody has bought anymore, when you consider its over a year since my last effort, so I will be looking at doing something else down that road, depending on your comments and thoughts, the books are priced at cost I don't make any money from them (as that was never the intention). I might even continue on with the greatest story never told as I have mountains of ideas on what to do its how to do that initial start that first line, I might at some point sit down with my editor in charge or whatever posh title E has given herself this week who knows, watch the skies on that one! 

So that is the year done nothing else will get published this year and I intend to do only 52 blogs next year ( I did try this year I think this will be 65) so that I don't spread myself to thin, mind you some might say that I need to have a life other than just work and home for the blog to remain interesting we shall have to watch that one as well, so here's to you one and all in every corner of this planet we call home, I hope the new year is better than this one and that you all have a healthy one. watch the skies and keep spreading the disease the page only lives because you guys do what you do, now fuck off and go do something useful.........Toodles!

and if anybody is wondering about the subtitle to the title ..............ask G it was his fault as always!