Those of you who follow me on the various social media channels will know what's coming with this one, don't worry although it's not a funny rip roaring ride it's not going to be a slide into despair either, read on and enjoy, that's what I try to make you all do when you read these!
My last 5 day week of the year as I get ready to take the remainder of my holiday and lieu time, I'm still going to be manically busy but this week was tiring for all the wrong reasons. Friday dawned and I got up really late, a mad dash to get ready and thankfully the old man of the house didn't stir as I clattered through the downstairs getting ready for my lift, I still made it on time but my morning was so out of kilter I struggled to keep my blood pressure soaring through the roof, medication taken but nothing to eat a poor combination but I got over the hump just before twelve bells, mission accomplished I thought. I as always had to deal an inordinate amount of silly people, I still can't believe how we ever made it to the top of the food chain I swear to god (or whatever religious deity that you happen to believe in this week) people are as dumb as a box of frogs.
A little after midday I noticed that I had missed a call from the wife, so I called her back and she was in bits the call that I had been dreading, today was the day the old man of the house was not well and the wife realised that today was the day, I reassured her that I would be home soon, make the arrangements and we would do the deal together. I stumbled through those last two hours and people sensed I wasn't happy and kept well out of the way, the short journey home was completed in silence, I arrived through the door to see the wife a little bit more composed with the Kraken here to support her but a stranger in the midst of us he looked like our dog but in reality it wasn't he had that far away look in his eye and his hind quarters where quivering from all the struggle of trying to stay upright, the hour arrived and we took that last short/longest journey, the details will be with me to my last day and I have no intention of sharing them, lets just say that he will be missed.
The wife was a wreck and we had so many things that we had planned to do, she had one some tickets to a charity do and I insisted that she go, taking both daughters with her, if she had stayed in the house she would have just sunk below the water not to be raised anytime soon, as soon as she had gone I set about undogging the house, the feeding bowls the blankets any other toys I could find and the long slow task of hovering the house over and over and over again as he had been shedding his summer coat and he hated the hoover so we didn't hoover as much as we should have, we had lived on prayers and whispers for the last year in reality we knew that it was coming but we were in denial, right up until the last minute. by the time she arrived home there was next to nothing remaining ( I know that there will be many items ready to spring out and catch us off guard we will have to deal with them when they raise their ugly head).
The youngest had an audition in Manchester and we said we would take her, another excuse to get out of the house, a friend of the youngest was going as well, so when they arrived just before midnight I hurried to pack the wife off for a couple of hours sleep while I resumed catering corps duties, feeding the kids pizza and making sandwiches for the journey and the long wait in the queue. just before two I gathered the troops and ushered them into the car, a quick stop for petrol and we were away with thankfully little traffic we made good progress the rear passengers soon snoring like little chainsaws, we headed south towards Manchester like we had the law after us.
We nearly got to our destination when the wife declared we needed to hit a rest stop, we pulled into the last services before Manchester left the growling guard dogs in the back, its at this point I realise I'm not at all well, I have a chest infection which I seem to have had for ages but just can't shake it and I have more chance of winning the lottery (yeah right) than actually seeing a doctor! but that's for another blog I escorted the wife to find her coffee fix, what made gasp was the fact that although there was only about seven people in the building, four of them were using the slot machines looking like extras from Shaun of the dead..
We climbed back into the war wagon and arrived at our destination to a sea of dweebs waiting for their chance of glory we threw the kids out so they could claim their spot, while we went and found a parking spot, we headed out to see if they were safe and sound in that caravan of zombies I had been stood with them about ten seconds, when I realised I had been on my feet about twenty four hours I needed to close my eyes and sleeeeeeeeeeep! the snatch's of conversation I was hearing were starting to annoy me I realised I was a fish out of water, the same way that old people were when me and my friends got on the bus "loudly"! I headed back to the car and was soon snoozing like a new born babe only to be disturbed as the wife climbed in beside me (hell I hope it was her) we were soon awake taking supplies to the waiting orphans who were now further compacted in zombie central, food parcel delivered we headed out to see if we could find something to keep us busy, talk about desolation boulevard there was nothing there it's Saturday morning and all we saw were loads of Asian fans having their pictures in front of a certain football ground, as we headed back to the car for more rest and recuperation, thankfully we spotted a Tesco so we body swerved and had a bacon buttie and a cup of tea.
Breakfast over the two visiting Geordie drug taking shoplifters (I saw us in a mirror and yes we did look rough) headed to sort ourselves out, we had attracted the attention of the local security who were mega suspicious why we kept splitting up (I didn't wish to share a toilet cubicle neither did I want to go in search of deodorant ya tosser!) we said our farewells and abused a glass breaking guitarist on the way back to the car, the zombie nation had multiplied I'm glad we got there when we had otherwise we probably would still have been there. sat in the car waiting for our two passengers I was in agony with my chest and my right knee being just about as bad as it's ever been! thankfully we didn't have to wait too long and we collected the two princess's and sped away from the walking dead as fast as the flux capacitor would allow us to, soon there were little patches of snoring from the cheap seats we now had to head back, past columns of the German army (did we not win the war) heading north the same as us.
We only had a few mini adventure like a stupid woman in a Jag who was doing just about everything other than driving her bloody car, cue lots of horn blowing and the wife swearing like the sailor she wishes she was! we missed a pit stop but thought we could make it, only realising that we had dropped a bollock and spent the next thirty seven miles praying for a service station, we coasted in on less vapour fumes than you would in a formula one racing car and then over compensated by filling the car to the gunnels with as much fuel as the car would take. the rest of the journey was uneventful as we dropped off the youngest daughters co companion in crime, only to fall foul of our little tired cherub trying to be witty and she got the wrath of Dad, I felt bad after, but it felt we had the oldest in the car and not the youngest, attitude readjusted we made peace then we all fell out as the wife went into hyper competitiveness for that well know game "yellow car" another game now banned the same as monopoly, damn I thought we would need the united nations!
The youngest dropped off at the Kraken's we entered an empty house and we both realised we were both shattered and would be poor company for our friends, even though a dose of Bucket mania is what we craved, we had some memories to exorcise and we would have been kidding ourselves and avoiding the issue's by heading out. We made our apologies and retreated into our shells on the couch until we sorted ourselves out, at that point I felt the desire to blog to get this out of the way I didn't want to dwell on it, but not before I made bacon butties and had a cup of tea, at this juncture I would like to point out that Tesco's own brand of custard creams is to be quite honest .....totally shocking! there I said it, avoid at all costs! anyhoo enough drivel thanks for the lend of your ears I hope it was as good for you as it has been for me, watch the skies ...incoming.......Toodles!
Dedicated to the Old Man Of The House 1996 - 2013.
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