Sunday, 31 January 2016

Other side of midnight

A weekend of sloth led into a busy week, up early everyday (thankfully that also meant a quick escape) Monday as always is a day of catching up with all the antics of the crazy people who attend the asylum ( my place of work) lots of spinning plates, but thankfully it wasn't too manic, well it was but it always is, you should have the picture by now! thankfully I was soon out the door and I was heading home to make myself pretty as me and the wife were taking it too the streets with SMOR and his good lady the Damsel J of Durham, a quick turn around (well when you look as good as me.................oh look the drugs have kicked in) we were soon heading to Newcastle meeting up at a rather salubrious (I think it means a place that wouldn't normally let me in) eating establishment at the bottom of Grey Street, we made relative good speed but struggled to find a convenient parking space so we were not on time, we weren't eating out as I had made Mince and Dumplings (hearty English grub) for us before heading out!

Once we met up with our co conspirators we made a slow amble back up the hill to the car, not before stopping off at an empty looking drinking establishment which suited our purposes, drinks purchased I thought we were going to need to call an ambulance for SMOR when he discovered I was drinking Lime & Soda, I haven't forsaken alcohol, just my medication makes most of it taste like cack (not that I know what cack tastes like I hasten to add) we took our time as we weren't going to be watching the support we arrived at the venue with time to spare, we bumped into some friends and said some hello's, I thought the wife was going to have a wobble when someone asked quite innocently about the  grand children, the crisis was averted when the wife responded wonderfully and body swerved like a professional, many apologies not needed, not everybody lives their life on a computer (like me LOL) we headed in to the small hall at the Sage (my fave venue in Gateshead ............No not Newcastle) as always I'm not going to do a review of the gig, except to say we all had a  great time, even the Teutonic guitar slinger seemed to have a bloody good time, we hung around as long as we could but the night was not ours as I crawled into my pit a little after midnight, knowing I would be up in little of four hours time.

The rest of the week was a bit of a blur, life occasionally catching me up (ZZZZZZZZZZZZ) usually on the couch (what do you mean the film has finished) thankfully I made it all the way through to Friday without killing anybody or even myself for that matter,  the wife and I had a cunning plan for the coming weekend, we had a little spare cash, ok so we didn't have to pay the council tax this month so we had arranged to meet up with SMOR and his good lady on Saturday, however we had ended up booking hotels on the opposite ends of the town, its ok we still have the texts informing us of where to book, its (sob) OK, we didn't mind LOL, the wife had to go and pick the youngest up from her university for dog sitting duties and it was good to see her smiling face we had a lazy Friday night (I don't think I fell asleep once cough splutter) a late rise the next morning and then the cheese slid of my cracker, it takes me no time to get ready, however the wife took her own sweet time over everything (GRRRRRRRRRRR) it actually worked in our favour as the dog sitter had plans that went awry later on  in the day (thankfully resolved but very nearly ended in a temper tantrum with her father, but her father thought sarcasm was better suited) we left later than planned and the wife went on a detour as she ignored and abused the sat nav!

We arrived at our hotel in good time and while I was in the shower, the wife made arrangements  and sent up smoke signals and we were soon in a taxi heading into town Phase one was completed, the venue was a modern cinema / theatre set up with plenty of levels, obviously council run as the heating was set on 11 all day its the only bad thing I can report! we soon made contact and hello's were in full swing when SMOR dragged poor Bernie Marsden out to meet us, bless the man had just driven over 200 miles, were we really the people he wanted to meet, as it happens we were, what a  lovely man, so humble and just genuinely nice all round guy, hello's exchanged Bernie ran back to the safety of the coffee machine, SMOR was turning into grumpy as he was sorting out the merch for the night, we decided to leave him to it and let him get on with his job for the night and we headed out for food, well we were then the headline act arrived and were heading out for food so we didn't wish to look like we were stalking them (with my wife's reputation pfft) we headed out into the bitter cold night to look for a Spoon's cheap drink and cheap food were the order of the day yet another soft drink I think even Lady J was starting to worry about my health or my sanity I'm not sure which!

Our stomachs full, we headed back to the super warm venue where I assisted SMOR with sarcasm and the ladies assisted Pete the drummer on his ice cream choice, oh the lifestyles of the broke and the obscure  (that's me and the wife in case you hadn't guessed) Bernie Marsden took to the stage and was brilliant again just funny and honest doing the type of thing I think that David Coverdale should be doing and it would be fab! we headed back to the bar to avoid the queues and the ladies got stuck into the wine and I had my first alcoholic pint of the year and it was sooooooooooo tasty, it was even tastier because SMOR was working so therefore wouldn't indulge, it was plastic glasses (his pet hate) as well, but mine was lovely. the crowd started too fill out a bit more, not overly full but what could be expected for a backwater venue with no advertising at the end of January, most of the crowd appeared to have travelled down from Newcastle as there were a few familiar faces, not many hometown supporters but it was ok, FM came on and I took pity on SMOR and stuck with him as he would have been all on his lonesome, I could hear the gig and as this was approximately number 48 (my memory is a tad hazy but wasn't helped by SMOR having an encyclopaedic knowledge of the bands touring schedule which put me in a tail spin, I rechecked all of my details, thankfully everything is ok (I hope) I was more in a panic because I thought that there's another blog down the swanny!) I thought I would repay the favour and keep him company (maybe he didn't want any company .....oops lol!) after all he always helps me and the wife out for gigs missing one wasn't going to be the end of the world and as it happens I enjoyed the conversation.

The girls rushed off to get a good view and me and SMOR chatted and then Bernie Marsden turned up to help flog his CD's and the chat was great, one for the memory banks but he put a wonderful spin on my first time watching him in Whitesnake, he soon disappeared back to the safety of the coffee machine before going back on as he was special guest for the last two songs, then it was all over and everybody came sailing out and then the meet and greet with the great and unwashed, SMOR doing his bit for selling the merch we left him to his task, we mingled with friends and band members alike, then it was breakdown time and SMOR got well and truly stuck in, his hands like a blurry speed freak of some ninja master, the wife got her annual photo of her groping Steve Overland, I even had a photo taken as well although I wish I had asked Bernie because he was a pleasant surprise (much better than the churlish Micky Moody who we bumped into a few years previously) plenty of tales and bonhomie including the tale that he stopped to take a picture of a sign saying Redcar and sending it off to DC who replied WTF!, he didn't stay around for long as he was driving home (another 200 miles) to get home to Oxford the setting of tonight's gig at least he could climb into his pit after that particular gig!

The night was winding down and the midnight hour was approaching, the best laugh of the night was telling SMOR that the kebab shop had switched its light off, the look of panic was wonderful, as it happens a huge burger had put paid to him and he declined as we gathered our belongings, we said last goodbyes and SMOR being the only true pirate raided dressing room rider looting as much booze that he could carry (and that's a lot) as we fled off into the dead of the night, the party wasn't over we followed and jumped aboard and headed to their hotel for much merriment and to watch the packing skills of SMOR I think a hand grenade might have resolved the issue just that little bit quicker! as always the night had to come to a close and we headed  back to our hotel with the taxi driver giving us the history of taxi's in Stockton, might have been more interesting with more drink in us, but as it was it wasn't ! go figure, we flopped into our bed only to be woken by our alarm telling us to go and get breakfast, we didn't need to be told twice.

Once completed we packed and headed back to Gimpsville so we could return our dog sitter (allegedly) to university, a quiet drive home and while I was making the Sunday dinner I had to get this written I know I have missed out loads but then I'm not sure all of the humour would translate into the written word, its really you have to be there moments it helps if your sense of humour is twisted as well, that's it then the blog numbers are sustaining triple digits with a lot of new readers with lots of questions so there will definitely be a questions blog coming soon, so let me know what you want to know soon before I pick the best twenty questions, yes the name game is in play and should be relatively easy considering the content of the blog, now for some beauty sleep as I have a week of bus seat bingo ahead as I'm on the plague carrier for a week, keep spreading the word and I will see you all again for the next blog but until then.................Toodles!

Sunday, 24 January 2016

Comfortably Numb

Back to work back to reality, hey ho needs must and all of that, I do need to keep the wolf from the door, so its heads down and arses up and not in a sexual kind of way! after a week off there was an awful lot to do, I had as always a cunning plan and basically kept my head down and just got on with it, it’s pointless me whinging (trust me this isn’t whinging purely a statement of facts) as there’s only me to do  the task, thankfully the week progressed in an orderly manner there wasn’t too many silly people even when I was in charge of the asylum for a duty manager shift towards the latter part of the week.

Thursday arrived with a slight lie in, a quick bacon sandwich for me and the wife and then it was time to get the plague carrier to head down the hills to civilisation (allegedly) I was perturbed as my MP3 player had gone walkies, I knew it wasn’t lost altogether, but in the rush to tidy up for Christmas it had gone  missing in the melee, and I was a grumpy guts all the way to work, getting off said transport and walking into the first idiot of the day didn’t help, thankfully that didn’t set the tone of the day as someone rushed to my aid to take said lunatic out of my line of fire. I then had a training course which soon descended into chaos, I won’t bore you with the details, let’s just say like watching the film Troy we won’t be getting that time back in our lives to do something productive!

The shift mercifully went over quick although still a late finish, with the wife doing her good deed of the fortnight by picking me up from the asylum I made good my escape and I was soon ensconced on the settee within 30 minutes of finishing my shift, just what was required so I could have an early night as I was doing a quick return the following morning as I was off on a jolly jaunt to Manchester for a training course, it would appear that the mountain does have to go towards Mohammed! So I headed up the wooden hill as the clock struck midnight (wtf how did that happen) thankfully I was soon fast asleep and thankfully climbed out of my pit at the allotted time, I’m way too old for this shit, it turns out that I can survive on only fours sleep oh dear car crash coming! The only good thing to come out of my trip away is that I changed my coat and discovered the lost MP3 player ……. hallelujah praise the lord!

Once at my desk I finished off a couple of tasks from the previous night while awaiting the troops ascending to go in one piece of transport, as we had a number of different centres to head to climb the mount as they seem to think that they are better than the rest of us, thankfully everybody turned up on time but I was a tad slow upon entering the minibus and I ended up with small middle seat at the front of the vehicle this was going to be awkward, you see I may be an overweight person and I can fit into quite a small space, it was the immobility of legs that was going to be the problem, and then we were off all restricted to 63 miles per hour oh joy! At least I had organised a large supply of sweeties to keep the kids occupied!

The weather was horrific really bad rain and with all the works on the roads meant that a two and a half journey ended up being four hours (with only the tinniest toilet break for the ladies) we hurried across the site and yes you guessed it, nobody had waited even though we were only thirty minutes, this was because of an upside down Audi just outside of Manchester we even rang ahead and told them how long we were going to be, they could have had an extra cup of tea, nope fuck the northern scum they just cracked on, my arse by this time after being cramped in the little area in the front was numb Jeremy Thorpe couldn’t have got any life back into it, we knew we were going to have the last laugh because as soon as we walked in there was the same chaos that we had witnessed the day before, different course same result!

We found seats or in my case I stood at the back hoping that the circulation would return, at this point I was asked to sit, when I politely declined, I was ordered to sit (you can see where this is going can’t you)I wasn’t so polite this time and I described in great detail that I had been travelling for four hours to get there and the fact that my arse was numb I would probably end up on the floor, I was a tad more polite when I enquired if we should step outside and have a private conversation regarding the numbness of my arse! Thankfully common sense returned as the person taking the course could see we were all ready to kick off, once again the chaos descended, after an hour and a half the course was halted while we had a (very poor) lunch only to be told at the end of it that the course was being cancelled while they thought long and hard about some of the questions already raised, somebody’s arse was going to get kicked thankfully not mine, so we headed for home not before the ladies went off to M&S and bought wine and nibbles.

We climbed back aboard the transport and headed homeward bound, why not swap? well believe it or not the two smallest were in that position and the ladies who would have been better off in the front said no and got stuck into the wine, so much for democracy, thankfully the sun was shining and the only restriction on the journey back north was the sixty-three miles per hour restriction that was holding the engine back, thankfully we pulled in with the minimum of fuss (the ladies had gone off to the land of nod earlier in the journey) and we all slid out of the seats, everybody had numb arse syndrome we all praised the lord upon ejection.

The wife collected me, with a surprise of the hurricane in the back of the car, even if he was a tad subdued, it was late for him but I was shocked when he said that he wanted to go straight to bed when he got in, so off he went and he slept for nearly twelve hours, an early rise and some car play with his track and stuff before we took him home, I was doing a good deed for the Chaplain at work and then we were off to see Star Wars, some time for ourselves which in itself is a rarity these days, we enjoyed it and upon getting home I tweaked this a bit, inserting some stuff and deleting other bits as I am trying to keep the blogs “up” just a little bit!

Today was me being left to my own devices and I sank quicker than the Titanic once the wife was out of the door, I have no idea why, thankfully I was back on an upward climb by the time I heard the car screech into its parking space, I made a lovely dinner for the lady of the house (mince and dumplings if you are interested, it was nice even if the gravy was a tad weak) so I then was late out of the blocks for this the last version of this week’s blog. The blogs have done fab, numbers are steady but I panicked as I thought we nearly had an infestation of the R word (no not rats) thankfully this proved not to be the case, so here I am a little happier already plotting next week’s blog with hopefully a gig tomorrow at The Sage (you will have to guess) and then going down country at the end of the week to see the wonderful FM even though we have booked the hotel five miles from the venue, I have no idea how SMOR finds a country never mind a bloody venue!

So there you have it, are we returning to an even keel probably not, but one has to try, as always thank you for all of the kind comments and questions, although I have been tempted to do an interview type of blog as I have been asked loads of questions by you lot the discerning readers (WTF) ……....................go figure! So that’s us out of here, watch the skies for incoming, until the next time ……………...Toodles!

Thursday, 14 January 2016

God Is Dead

Bile alert this isn't going to be a happy blog!

I'm not interested in celebrities, musicians and actors, I don't know them and although it may seem heartless, I really don't give a shit, their families can grieve for them, but not me I'm not upset for them I'm upset for all the good people I know are going through a mountain of crap day after day! I don't know them I don't travel in their circles, the people who I care about are the ones in my immediate circle, my wife my children my grandchildren and my friends, I'm sick of good people being hurt and being put through the mill, and if just one more person says "its gods plan" I will stab the fuckers ! My grandson was two you shitheads what was the plan there? my wife has been in pain since I met her yet she soldiers on with crap days and bad days there's not much that's good in there I can tell you, my best friend's are put through hell because she has a stroke at such a young age and he loves his wife enough to want to care, and the government roll the dice and laugh in there faces because they played by their rules and had the carpet pulled from underneath the at every opportunity.

In my anger I just want to go howl at the moon at the inability of the universe to play fair! why cant the killers and molesters and all the evil shits that are out there, why can't they be dealt the shit hand? why cant they suffer? why do there have to be victims and suffering? why do good honest people have to suffer? I'm sick of all the crap things happening to good people, I wish there was more I could to help I feel so helpless towards life, I feel helpless that I can't do more for my wife my friends or my grandson, did I mention he was two, god help god when I finally meet him we have some things to discuss, heap all the crap you want on me I will roll with the punches and take whatever I need to but why the fuck do good people have to suffer all the time?

I have to blog and blog now as I can feel the anger rising with the anger comes the negativity (go figure) as I get older I expect to be infirm I expect the ill health, but at least let some people have a chance at life, why do you have to hit people at such an early age, the negativity will bleed into my very soul over the next few days, I'm amazed at how people bend and flow with the universe and everything that goes with it, I do wish I could do more to help the people in my life, this hasn't been done for numbers this has been done for me and the need to vent, until the next time!

Wednesday, 13 January 2016

Dear Friends

Best intentions stumbled at the first hurdle, well actually they didn't I just got lazy, I'm having some holiday, yes more holiday, actually time I hadn't taken from last year can you believe that? no neither can I!

The last blog has settled into usual numbers (for a normal blog) and I wanted to avoid the feeding frenzy of Lemmy and David Bowies deaths, I was never a huge of either artist, I doubt I would turn anything off by either artist, but I wasn't a flag waving fan of either artist either! the national grieving should just be about done now so I thought I would put my head back up above the parapet and move life along.

There is no great plan for this week although the wife does have a couple of hospital appointments that I shall be offering her some support (yes I know she is scrapping the bottom of the barrel) I just have been doing some writing and reading (funny I know that the blog is late) I like to try and have a groove to what I'm writing and although none of it has been discarded its not sitting right with me so back to the drawing board for the time being!

The title as always is indeed a song title hopefully easier than the last one as nobody (out of the seven people who attempted) got Grace Slick, and I have to admit I have been listening to a fair bit of this artist over the Christmas period after being reminded (not that I needed reminding) how fab their music was and it also reminded me of the string of friendships forged so long ago, many people who I miss (don't worry they are all still alive) but I doubt that they give me or others a second thought, I'm talking about school friends, people who we spent so much time with, but with the passage of time we wandered wherever the tides took us, a couple of people who I went to school with from the first day to the last day, I wonder how they are doing I wonder how their families are, people who at the time meant everything, girls I went out with and still became friends with afterwards not many admittedly but still you get the picture,  I have been back in my home town nearly 13 years and have barely seen anybody I know. now I know peeps moved on (and my appearance is so different from when I was last here) some have even died, so does this mean I was a whinging git that they were glad to see the back of, more than likely, we had some really good times, great parties, great music and hardly any fallings out, we played hard but that's what friends do, now I'm not being all weepy and saying lets all meet up, times move on as do people, that doesn't mean that I can't reminisce about those people who helped me through my teenage years, those really were the good times.

The friends I have now only one or two of them are from my time in Gimpsville and like me they moved away, unfortunately I came back, I love the place but as I keep saying I don't know anybody, I am still trying to kick start my life into a good forward motion, rather than ticking over in a sea of isolation, one or two people keep saying that we should go for a pint it hasn't happened yet but I don't mind we all have lives to lead, this is primarily what has brought all these memories flooding back, my current friends The South Shields Massive, all of the wife's friends (and there are millions of them) all the people who are in my gravitational pull they all mean so much to me and its only now that I understand that everybody has a place in the universe we call life.(god I sound like Jon Anderson)

The next blog will be here sooner than you think and it depends which one perks up the most they are all  historical but I need them to be hysterical, in a good way, best foot forward and all that jazz, I don't think anybody needs to panic (just yet I need to check with my lawyers first) I have the choice of a couple of gigs that are worth writing about, or even about the Mayfair or Walkers or WR's lets see where the groove takes me as I'm not sure (as I get a massive influx of emails from people going NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO) what I want to do, its funny how things that happened (good things as well as the crap stuff) can influence life, the universe and everything, its more than 30 years since I left school but the friends I made they are not very far from my brains and if you remember in the last blog I said I have started dreaming again well most of the people I went to school with float in and out on a regular basis.

I was being super careful about what I write as the wife used to be super critical of everything I wrote, in a good way however it appears I have hit the boring button, so she has taken to skimming the first paragraph and if its not interesting she ignores, I wrote a heartfelt blog to her the other week (emotional rescue) and she didn't even read it ah well prepare for fireworks lol. the rest of the week is more of the same I'm in lazy mode so more writing more reading because I know what's waiting for me when I go back, so enjoy keep spreading the disease and until then Toodles!

Sunday, 3 January 2016


Moving swiftly along with the new year, here's a new blog for you!

I have being experiencing dreams since my CBT course has been completed and I find it wonderful in a strange kind of way, now for the last 30 + years I have endured the same six minutes over and over again every single night, very occasionally a dream breaks through that is so strong and distorted I wake up not distressed, but all over the place, now I have not started to dream straight away and occasionally I still dream of those same six minutes (usually muted and playing somewhere off in the back ground) but over the last eighteen months my dreams have started to flow like a river into my unwaking thoughts.

Now I have no intention of spilling the beans on these dreams, and no there are no sex dreams amongst them, but I dream about people I know, again nothing strange just run of the mill stuff with people I have a connection with, but not day to day contact with, all upside down, I sometimes sit and wonder when I wake up,what the hell they all mean and is this how other people dream?

I'm not complaining it just can be exhausting at times, again is it just me or am I really nuts (who me lol) this is exhausting in a different kind of way and with the best intention in the last eighteen months, I think I have only had a couple of bad nights sleep, so lets hope for it to continue, but please a little less like Alice through the looking glass and a little more like.................erm I'm not sure!

Thanks for all the great support over the last eight months, times have been crap, but I think most of you guessed that, So here we go with the best will in the world, best foot forward and all that, lets see if we can beat 15000 readers for the blogs this year, I know its going to be difficult, but you know what if it helps pull me out of my funk well lets give it a go, triple digits is the aim for every blog some will be historical and some will be spur of the moment ones,lets see which do better the longer or the shorter ones?

So here we go all aboard keep spreading the disease, the name game will always be in play (its funny how only peeps from Scandinavia seem to want to join in, well those who try anyway even Nils got the last one, whatever is the world coming the last blog was 280 and so far I think Nils has got six correct, its the taking part that matters most so watch the skies for incoming my intention is too beat last years publication I want 52 as opposed to 33, until the next one Toodles!

Sunday, 27 December 2015

We'll Burn The Sky

I had to change the pace of the blogs, life had been shit and I really didn’t want to infect the blogs any more than I had, so I drew a line in the sand and I took a stand. My intention is to stand and fight and if I have to I will take life and its four horsemen down with me, together me and the wife intend to Burn the sky (hence the title and yes the name game is very much in play).

I was happy that I had blogged and had got it out of the way, but I was running on empty and the vapours were not something I wanted to smell, something was rotten and for once it wasn’t me, but life itself, and for once I wasn’t going to be beaten, I had a cunning plan and I intended to put it into operation. Thankfully I was back to work and even that wasn’t cutting the mustard, well that’s not exactly true, it was, but I was listless, the days were just bleeding into each other, each day becoming just a mind numbingly boring slog, even coming through the front door to see our hell hound bouncing about because he’s happy to see me (WTF) didn’t kick start the motor of life, but at least there was a spark, that at least was something, I’m not used to being the centre of attention, ha go figure.

I had yet another Dr’s appointment actually it was meant to be with the practise nurse I started to panic when I saw a Dr sat in the room (oh dear now what?) as it happens   it wasn’t as bad as I thought, the super tanker that is me is slowly but gradually being pulled back on course, I was presented with a new medication (that was to have ramifications more of that later) I thought they were going to just call me fat! however I had lost some weight (again WTF!) nothing over the top but certainly baby steps,  the worrying thing was the fact that my test results for my heart weren’t back (I did try to tell them I didn’t have one!) ah well I have another appointment soon so maybe that will present me with some better news, back to more work and sometimes the wife is on her duty shift on a late shift and it would appear I have become accustomed to sitting in the dark at home, now not in a miserable or miserly well (well actually I’m not sure on the last part) I have used the cover of dark to sit and try and have a working plan for life in general and it has seemed to work (so far) it might not be perfect, but I’m getting there, baby steps boys and girls baby steps!

I have also spoken to the youngest on the odd occasion usually about food and how to cook something (seeing as how I’m the home Marco Pierre White……cough splutter not!) it’s nice to make contact even if for a little while, as I keep saying the world keeps turning and she is growing and starting to spread her wings, she is no longer our little girl anymore (try telling the wife that) for once it appears I am thinking of myself and giving myself some space, funny how that works, I need to be careful I might get to like it!

Again back to work and the 17th audit of the year thankfully the last one that is aimed at specifically me, not that I mind, my average is sitting at 96% I know I’m doing something right, if I’m not that’s what the audit is for, so unlike other people I never panic about an audit especially when the nearest person on the audit trail has a 71% rate (oh dear) I’m not perfect but I always try my best. Thankfully it is helping me come back to an even keel! Hopefully as you read this that you might realise I’m getting better, I’m not “happy” or “fixed” but I am fighting the good fight. Some people are having some very heavy times in their lives, I hope I can offer them the support that they have offered me over the last couple of months, this year has been decidedly shit for friends and family through sickness and health, Life will win in the end (it always does) I just have no intention of giving in or of going quietly (that’s the new me go figure) music has as always been helping and I have been playing even more music (if that is even possible) but it’s always the classics, but what the hell, I’m having fun with the stuff that I’m listening to and that’s what music has always been about!

We had a jolly jaunt to take the youngest some food supplies at Uni, I checked the weather forecast, “there’s going to be some rain but we should be OK” famous last words a journey that takes just over 70 minutes one way took a little over 150 minutes (you do the math) to get there, we didn’t stay long because of the condition of the rain soaked roads on the way there, but it took us over 390 minutes to get back with many diversions and downed trees with a smattering of drowned policemen doing a valiant task of getting us on our way home, the worst weather we have driven through, my hearts go out to the people in Cumbria and all of the support people who endured though that long night.

The next day although we were drained we had arranged to go and see G & E, who because of our situation we felt that we had neglected them, we simply hadn’t been the best company and G had enough on his plate without us adding to it, we even turned up on time ………..well for us, within ten minutes of the arranged time, we set off to The Rattler and had a wonderful Sunday lunch, but as always it ended way too soon, the previous days adventures were taking the toll, the wife had pulled something (ooo er missus) and was struggling with her breathing, we came home after a lovely meal (and even better company) like the old couple that we are and snuggled on the settee with the hell hound at our feet.

The following days have moved on at a swift pace, back to work and a brief respite with SMOR and his good lady, Whitesnake hit the toon and we were hooked up with brilliant seats (thanks man) and passes for the after show, we missed Black Star Riders (on purpose) after seeing them a half a dozen times in 18 months we wanted the company of a likeminded lunatic ( I can hear him now shouting “how very dare you”) we watched the band (no review I enjoyed it, I know I was surprised as much as you the reader hahaha  end of story) met with some peeps and missed loads more, we then headed out as Def Leppard were getting arrested for throwing a bag of cats down some stairs ………………..oh no I mean as Joe Elliott started singing, to be honest the last time I saw a full Leppard concert the drummer had two arms (High and Dry Tour if you were interested)  they have done some nice stuff, they just don’t interest me enough to want to watch them, good luck if you want to but no thanks for me.

The next day I was Duty Dog, I know me in in charge of a billion-pound shopping centre, it frightens me as well, well not as much as it used to. It’s a long shift which I usually while a way dealing with stupid people who should not be allowed out of the house, never mind their street without a carer! A quick turnaround after a late night does not make me a happy camper, but I got through the day painlessly and without killing or maiming anybody, a low profile was the order of the day, once home with the wife back indoors we were soon ensconced watching all the crap on the TV that we had recorded but not watched, I made a killer sweet and sour chicken meal and then we drifted off into a TV stupor, then we climbed up the wooden hill as we were returning to Carlisle to pick up our youngest and bringing her home so she can serve in servitude over Christmas or something similar, that sounds so wrong written but it still strikes my funny bone over and over again , mind you as I pull this particular funny out, I discovered that so far all university has done is to teach my youngest how to drop the F-Bomb with monotonous regularity………..go figure my tax pounds working for the good of the country, but as always I get ahead of myself!

We were able to drag ourselves from our pit at a silly time (I was going to say at the crack of dawn but the wife kept asking who the hell is Dawn?) of the morning at a time when darkness still ruled (I know its December I was trying to paint a picture) and headed westwards as more heavy weather was heading into Cumbria and we didn’t want a repeat of the previous weekend, the wife still wasn’t well, ongoing health issues no not me, mind you I do believe I am the perfect tonic! So I was concerned for her, we got there in record time announcing to the youngest that the eagle had landed, we were like UN peacekeepers going to get refugees out of a war torn country once on board we got the hell out of dodge with Charlie firing all they had at our Chinook……………………. hang on I’m having Vietnam flashbacks for some reason! We got out ahead of the bad weather although we could see it coming in, at the half way point we stopped at a Little Chef for second breakfast (well we were hungry Hobbits) the weather caught up with us and it was a steady downpour as we crawled back into Gimpsville, stopping briefly to pick up the hell hound (who the Kraken was looking after just in case that there was a repeat of last week’s debacle) we headed the last stretch with a hell hound going mental as he was really happy to see the youngest, the wife was working up a head of steam as she thought she was going to have parking issues (don’t ask, we could live miles from anybody and she would still get annoyed bless her…………’s good she has a hobby so to speak!) thankfully there was a spot and we gratefully retreated indoors before the snow arrived!

As it happens the snow kept falling, I took great pleasure in resumption of my kitchen duties and cooked for the family, and yes still it snowed then just as we were getting ready to snooze (I mean watch TV) the was a knock at the door (ok it was the doorbell, but the doorbell ringing just wasn’t as dramatic as it needed to be) it was keeper of the royal hounds and his good lady wife what a surprise, the whole of Gimpsville covered in snow and they had travelled all the way from sunny Shields to see “real snow” a wonderful surprise as we don’t get many visitors (let’s be honest who the hell visits Gimpsville especially in winter) as always with any visit it was over way too soon and they had to fight their way back to the land of the living (well sort of). Sunday was exactly what a Sunday should be, nice and quiet Monday was a return to work with some worrying problems, my new tablets were stating to give my kidneys problems and I was considering to stop taking them, then the flood gates opened quite literally, damn I had to be quick and there was (and as I type) still a few issues, tablets stopped being taken unfortunately I was told that wasn’t going to be the answer as it would take roughly the same length of time to flush them out of my system (damn that’s nearly ten days, I’m on day eight as I sit here) Tuesday was even worse, not funny and then there was the burning as well, I’m a bloke I’m crap at being poorly the wife was as always an angel of devotion (at least she didn’t say suck it up buttercup)I struggled on and at times I felt I was stuck in a pension queue at the post office, once home I tended to crawl into my spot on the settee, just me and the wife (as the youngest had been dragged off to the Kraken’s Lair) we were watching a programme (I can’t even remember what now) and it was describing the effects of PTSD, and wallop I was blindsided, thankfully it didn’t last long, I was more than impressed in how I dealt with the attack, the wife helped, but the black cloud ran away with its tail tucked between its legs, that’s a good sign although at the time it wasn’t.

The week progressed with major fallouts and an attempt on the Krakens life, I won’t be going into details simply because I wasn’t at either incident mind you if I had been for the falling out, I do believe the police might have been called to cart me off, I’m not a happy bunny some people (including Family) are a waste of skin. The week crawled towards the weekend not before the pit stop at the quacks, only for him to tell me that my heart is fine (WTF) and I’m doing all the good things for my other problem and to keep it up. Friday arrived and I came home as the wife went out to work I didn’t even turn on any electrical device I simply sat in the dark and brooded, again it wasn’t all good but it did get better, thankfully by the time the wife got home I had put the side lights on and was at least “cheery” I think it was the continuous running backwards and forwards to the loo that had me down, but the new me dusted myself off and I got on with it and I didn’t mind not being connected to that other world you know “the internet”!

Saturday came and I was duty dog again and it was funny watching people who didn’t get the bus go pale when they realise how much it is to get “public transport” ah well I hope you enjoy your Christmas parties later on in the day, I didn’t attend mine although I have been on an upward turn I still wasn’t anywhere ready for some social interaction, I was a good boy and came home and enjoyed an evening of Queen taped on the Sky box from the previous evening, and if you don’t mind me saying it was ………………………………………..AWESOME!

Saturday night we also had the Hurricane who was as always a handful (girls are so much easier to deal with) Sunday has been more of the same and at the moment we are getting our gear on to try and put some that’s crossed with a mink (vicious little critters) and a Tasmanian devil, and that’s just to get him up the stairs, I’m sure it will all work out in the end. Back to work for a short week in the run towards Christmas, the last shift being a duty dog shift the rota always goes pear shaped at the end of the year although the wife was on time at the end of the shift well I say on time for her 40 minutes isn’t too bad, according to her she can do no wrong, well would can I say to that well I can think of a few things but surely they are not printable in a family blog (WTF) Christmas came and went with hardly any issues, the dinner I cooked was nice and on time just like the Kraken who didn’t stay too long, Santa wasn’t kind because I’m told I’m too old for that shit, although I did manage to get myself some CD’s ( an Al Di Meola box set, a couple of Supertramp classics a Black Sabbath album that I didn’t have a bought copy of, all classics) now I just have to get through my holiday and go back to work (I’m dreading what I have to go back to but hopefully it will keep my brain occupied) just the wife swearing at technology (and she is our geek squad) if I put a swear box in the living room she would be owing the box a few million pounds I kid you not!

So there you go the last blog of the year, I intend for them to be written by a happier (fingers crossed) person in the new year and my intention is to post 52 blogs next year, some may be small but they will be posted whether I like it or not, misery will not be allowed to have company, life’s too short and I don’t want the few friends and readers that I have to get the idea that I’m an old misery (old yes misery no). Times have been crap and hopefully this year we might (although I gave up holding my breath years ago) just get some good times, I’m sure there will be tears after what’s gone before us but hopefully less and less and a stronger stride in our pace as we take on life at its own game, I’m not asking for much, just a little sunshine to peak out from behind the clouds every now and again, so until the new year keep spreading the disease (I really do mean word) watch the skies for incoming I wish you and yours all the best and a fabulous new year until then……Toodles!

Oi life come and get me ya Bastard, I’m ready and waiting for Ya!

Sunday, 29 November 2015

This is the picture

Now don't be alarmed, don't panic I'm going to say a few things here that some might think that I'm being controversial, I'm not really its just depends on how you view the big picture!

Firstly this is going to be the penultimate blog of the year, there I said it, I loving writing but I'm not in the right place to publish anything, too much going on in my tiny mind to comprehend, nobody can argue with that, as nobody knows what's going on in my head! I'm totally sick of publishing bile and although I have a ton of ideas that aren't bile, I'm not happy posting stuff that's not 100% I'm struggling with the big picture and I feel disconnected from the wife and all living things, so I believe that I have to at least offer her some support, this is not goodbye but quality control (at last) or so I would have myself believe.

I need to get some traction in my life, I have nobody to blame for this malaise but myself, if I don't get some traction people are going to get fed up and will cut the ties that bind, I know I have had a load of offers of help and I thank you all for that, however its something that I need to do, no matter how many offers of assistance I receive its something only I can do, so don't think that I have hit rock bottom (nearly but not quite) I know that I have to dust myself off and get on with it, I have done it before I'm sure that I can do it again.

I just had the crappiest birthday with only my brother really remembering it, not that I normally celebrate it, but the fact that the kids have to be reminded by their mother kicked me in the slats just a tad, adding up to my (imaginary ) tale of woes, so today I shall begin the long haul back to normality, if anybody wants to have a pop you can, just try walking a mile in my shoes then you might understand why I have become such a fucking misery, maybe it will shine some light on to why I am wired the way that I am.

So as I have said I am trying to right the displaced ballast (I'd love to know why I use all these nautical terms) in my rusty keel so if you see me on the street trust me I am trying to do my best, the blogs both old and new have being doing great business, and I have no idea why! over 15000 this year alone, go figure, keep spreading the disease I will be back hopefully better, but if all is equal I doubt before the new year, maybe a year round up and then to kick off the new year in a better frame of mind, I love all of the people who read and comment so don't panic its just a speed bump in the road, until the next time Toodles!