Thursday, 18 September 2014

State of independance

This is my view on the Scottish referendum, I have no affiliation either way I  have friends and family north of the border, its their decision not ours.

307 years is how long the union has lasted, I for one think its up to them, I won't think anymore of them if they stay I won't think any less of them if they leave, some people want it, some people don't, when I'm home I'm English and that's the way I think of my self , when I'm abroad I think of myself as British, it's a  national identity some feel stronger about than others, when I was in the army people kept calling me Geordie and I always argued the case I was from County Durham that did not compute, I'm not a Geordie or a mackum,I come from the land of the prince bishops, Durham, so that should make me a dunelmian or some such other name, I was fiercely vocal about where I come from, I have no axe to grind with any part of the country I just love where I'm from, mind you if you are from south of Durham you are by the very definition a southerner!

So what ever happens which ever way the dice roll just remember it was a choice, if you didn't vote you don't get a say, the world keeps on turning either way tomorrow will be a new day for everybody and as long as nobody got hurt, I'm sure it will be a good day, now if you do get independence I might play the family card and get a Scottish passport unless they want to invade and come all the way down to Durham hahahaha until that happens ..............Toodles!

Decline of the western civilisation

I hate shaving ....there you go I said it, I have been shaving since I was 11, actually it would been later but my school indicated that the bum fluff had to go, from the age of 13 if I felt like being a rebel, I would first buy a Bic razor and then collect a Drs note as my face would be ripped to bits hence no shaving and my school could nothing about it , I never even considered shaving until I was taken aside one morning in assembly and told I needed to smarten myself up, this coming from Mr Binks the scruffiest teacher in school, oh how we laughed when I refused to comply, to be honest I wasn't a rebel at school I just didn't like being told to smarten myself up by someone who looked dressed and smelt like a bloody tramp

I then joined the army and then I had to shave twice a day, not because I was particularly hirsute, I just had a tendency to miss the odd hair, and I didn't want to end on a fizzer cleaning toilets or any other dirty job some NCO might find for me, I didn't mind shaving whilst in the army it was part of the job and it was a job I loved doing. That didn't last long and although I grew my hair when I left I didn't grow my beard back straight away, I looked like a child without the beard (ask my wife she thinks she will be arrested for child molestation......I wish!......ooops bad taste) I had no problem getting served in pubs, I had been buying my (older) brothers beer in bars for nearly three years although I never drank in a pub until I was 17, I wasn't very good at facial grooming, if I grew facial hair I had a tendency to just let it roam wild across my face.

Then I hit my late twenties and I started to not shave for a long time, and then soon I had stubble and it suited me, I liked it but again I had no idea on how to groom or style it, so when it become unsightly it was ripped from my face very quickly, I was clean shaven when I met my wife but she soon indicated that she loved the beard so it was kept, I remember the first time I shaved my beard off and said hello to my youngest, she wasn't happy at all about it. Then I finally got to grips and I started (badly) to groom shave and shape the direction of my facial topiary.

It soon started to go grey (have you met my family) and I loved it but then health issues kicked in and now when I go bed I have to be trussed up like bomber command (ok chaps lets head for home) so the top lip had to clean shaven so I could get a seal (so many jokes) so I am clean shaven for the longest time in the last 25 years and I hate it, I'm not saying that it was glamorous but it was mine and I hate not being able to have one.

The reason for this blog and the dramatic title well, according to the news today  men's grooming is suffering a down turn and we are all starting to look like some TV refugee Arabs in some silly Cop show or like extra's in a ZZ Top video collection, but the real answer is the cost of the bloody things you need to get a mortgage to buy traditional wet shave razors, I could always go old school and buy a cut throat (lets not give me any ideas) but no I would in all honesty would love to have my beard back, but now that they are fashionable I think I will stay shaven, because I hate to follow any fashion, until the next time .............Toodles!

Pages of old

For once I haven't been a misery, just busy, busy, busy! work has kept my nose to the grind stone far more than intended,so this will be short and sweet, but please expect incoming over the weekend with potentially two or three blogs in the mix.

What made me avoid blogging has been my inability to get the next book published Blurb who I use  have upgraded their software to be more user friendly.......erm not! after numerous attempts I was left licking my wounds looking for a blunt object to batter my laptop with, ho hum that's what you get when you are a luddite, don't worry I haven't given up I have just been contemplating where I have gone wrong (again), working up the courage to have another attempt, watch this space, honest the book is finished, it's just me being a dumbass!

Numbers have been strong for older blogs so that means you lot are spreading the disease, and that we have a number of new readers, I have some time off and the start of some cunning plans over the next few weeks, so I think I shall be a tad naughty!

I have embraced some new technology this week and surprised the wife by upgrading our phones that in itself has been an ordeal, so I will need some time to recover from the shock of having to work out what does what , slowly slowly catchee.................actually lose your mind, but I'm not going to let it beat me (just yet) today I have a few tasks (allegedly) to sort out and then I intend to play lots and lots of music, I have had my vegetarian breakfast (ok so there was no bacon in the house) but I intend to enjoy my time off.

Ok so that means today I have to assist (sort of0 in the looking after of our grand kids, but I will try and be a happy soul for them, as they really are full of life, so I feel as though I should get me and the wife a case of red bull, thankfully the youngest is assisting us, well it keeps her off the streets or college whatever they call it these days! so onwards and upwards just a little ditty to let you all know I'm alive and kicking listening to tunes getting ready to unleash an onslaught of blogs, so until later you behave and have fun........Toodles!

Sunday, 7 September 2014

The Race Is On

No the title is not in honour of the great north run, but because of  The Buckets, as always I digress, lets set the scene.........once upon a time in a land far far away.................................

The week had been slow, work just grinding on and on, I didn't have a happy point to look forward to, I had discovered we had been sold a puppy so to speak we had our eldest daughters dog to look after on Saturday, the ultimate pissing machine, coming to stay while they went off on a jaunt, not really sure how we always end doing stuff for her and the tribe when they won't do jack shit for us strange that, but ho hum you can choose your friends but not ....................................continued at

Friday I collapsed in a food coma after having my tea, funny how since I have started eating sensibly (cough splutter...actually yeah I have) if I have a heavy meal its like the wife has asked me to sniff a chloroform filled rag (again), I dragged myself up the wooden hill and was soon ensconced in bomber command (still not loving the mask but boy does it help) the night soon ended with the wife heading off for the puppy from hell (actually he's not but I have to make it look as though I am being put on) the brothers then spend a number of hours doing there best WWE impersonation, and the only reason of unhappiness and issue is the uncontrolled bladder but not to worry you can't blame the puppy if it's not trained correctly!

The youngest was going to a birthday party in Jarrow so I had the bright idea of asking G if he would like some company for a few drinkies an ulterior motive to get us out of the house but at the same time see our friend, Then we found out that the Buckets were playing an impromptu gig at The Voyager and soon some other members of the Tee Hee Club being dragged into the mix the night really was going to be the silver lining to a shit week, we returned all the puppies to their starting blocks and left on time Flux Capacitor fully charged, some fancy footwork (organs sold) to fill the petrol tank (don't ask) and some coin in our pocket (I ain't winning the lottery this week) we headed to our first destination with four stone of Valium as we approached the Tyne tunnel, turn off completed succesfully, and breathing resumed at a normal rate, we proceeded to Sunny South Shields to collect the first part of the puzzle A Shandi and the keeper of the royal flight, we were welcomed by the hounds of hell (actually the friendliest bunch you will ever meet) a quick drinkie poo's (well I'm not the designated driver) well it would be rude not to and a quick tour of the star ship enterprise music system so jealous but pointless as  the family doesn't appreciate my musical choice nor do I care much for theirs!

We set off to meet up with G only to look back at the house to find Loki giving us the Eye because we hadn't taken him....bless, G had moved on earlier so we waddled (well I did) in his wake to the Voyager, two minutes later the gang are all smiles and The Buckets are all ready set up, we were met with the warmest of welcomes (as always) Mr Charlton in full on cheeky chap mode and we fought our way to the bar, a small unannounced gig and the place is full to the rafters, and that's were the truth and fantasy part ways, as always you have to see the Buckets to believe them, this had all the magical ingredients for a cracking night, lots of friends good drink and rockabilly music for the masses, although I got my fingers burned I have been watching the Buckets for years and initially they used to do California Man (by The Move but I prefer the Cheap Trick version) and for years I have/requested/ shouted for it to no avail, just cheek for having the audacity for requesting it, well I got it last night and as they started playing it Mr Charlton requested paying for singing it (4 Jagermiester for the band por favor) ooops I hadn't expected and after the Mrs sent me to the bar for once, I stood there in panic as I hadn't brought that much money with us, we were only intending to have a cheeky little drink with G not a full scale session hahahaha thankfully I wasn't embarrassed at the bar(just) and I didn't mind as they are truly a fantastic band, we only caught the first set (if we had stayed it would really have been messy oh yes) a great set, a snogging competition, somebody yawning (WTF) a game of Kerplunk and a stonking version of The Race Is On, see I do get to  the point at some time, now Smog claimed they were doing the Jack Jones version, well it did my napper in as to why I knew the song (we still think it was used in a film at some point)so I had to look it and .............yes it was the Dave Edmunds version I knew, problem solved I could rest my weary brain, and then all too soon it was over, we were introduced to Mr Charlton's sister  (who was lovely..I don't see the family connection hahahahahahaha) and then we headed off into the night just as the bar was running out of beer, oh dear.

Youngest picked up and another  panic at the Tyne Tunnel averted, we headed home back to Gimpsville to a trigger happy puppy who jumped into my arms (bless him) and another meal ( I had had a drink what did you expect , but on the plus side I didn't have anything else to drink once I got home) we settled down to watch Jay and Silent Bob Strikes Back, and then all I can remember is my better half poking me with a stick to get me up the wooden hill, once deposited in bed the land of nod soon returned, this morning I felt actually Ok (I had ditched the mask for a night) and here I am typing up a storm.

I haven't written of late purely as I had other things going on and not in a massively negative way, life just got in the way and instead of me retreating from it I took up the challenge and got on with it, the biggest pain is that Blurb books has upgraded its software to make it easier to upload books to be published and............yes you guessed it I am having major issues (GRRRR) the book is done and dusted just I'm licking my wounds trying to get it printed bear with me incoming!

As always thanks to everybody who comments ,clicks like or generally abuses me, there has been nothing to worry about , normal service has been resumed now lets just see if we can spread the disease and get these numbers back on the up, so here we go the new chapter of Walks With Broken Hoop spread the word the Kid is back and fighting fit, until next time .......Toodles!

Wednesday, 20 August 2014

Hang on in there

Like all well laid plans, mine for the holidays turned to rat shit pretty much straight away, a long weekend before the start of the holiday wasn't the best start, but I thought I would soldier on, my therapy had finished earlier in the week and I was feeling so damn good, yes you all know I was about to crash and burn!

The weekend dragged and I had a cunning exit strategy, which as always involved the wife,  that was the beginning of the end, the wife being on a different time line as to the rest of the world I was soon spiralling out on control like the Red Baron in a dog fight, I just wanted to get the hell out of dodge and It wasn't happening quickly enough for me! the day soon dissolved  into misery (not for me but for others and I felt sorry for them) the wife did a good deed and I was left alone with the youngest, which was a good thing and was  nice to have some quality (hahahahaha)father /daughter to speak!

 Monday wasn't going to be the best and as it happens it wasn't, the world and a dog conspired against us and I barely saw the wife, I didn't feel as though I was on solid rock more like sinking sand, I had technology issues (as well as just a little mental anguish) I wanted resolving, but with me being a luddite I needed my IT department at my side (yes that's right my wife), Monday soon disappeared and we decided to do it after an early start for Tuesday!

Tuesday I was up with the larks and I was off to the quacks for my liver result, I wasn't in the best frame of mood but I was trying I even decided to go by myself, big mistake my appointment was twenty minutes late, and when I did get in, I felt as though I was wasting the good Dr's time as he showed zero interest, trying to remain calm and still feel good I headed home knowing that technology was the order of the day, it was then that the world went tilt and I began feeling sorry for myself (that's why I needed the wife) now to be honest it should have been as simple as 1,2,3! but it wasn't, the wife had to put up with mood swings, temper tantrums and Mr Unhappy all at the same time, I wasn't the best and I admit to sitting staring at the four walls not wanting to do anything or be involved at one point the lap top was going to go in the bin and that was going to be the end of me online.

Thankfully the wife saved the day and late at night she salvaged not only my computer but my sanity with it, I chilled just a little before we headed up the wooden hill once to strap me into that infernal machine that helps breath on a night time, I would still like to know how and why I pull it off my face every night? this morning arrived and it was sunny, cunning plans and a little mischief means I can ignore the chest pains that the Dr was so dismissive of, I have a book to finish today and to hopefully get published tomorrow, me stressed already hell no, well maybe just a little ok so lots but you know me I will just through another temper tantrum and be stroppy for the rest of the day.......ho hum!

As for the rest of my holiday well to be honest it doesn't feel like a holiday it just feels like I'm sat here waiting to crack on and go back to work (fingers crossed for that lottery win) but in reality life used to be so much worse so I think I will hang on in there as the title suggests and try and live a little,  I know I have kept a very low profile of late well blame me and my issues hopefully soon I will be putting my best foot forward and trying to crack on...until then Toodles!

Tuesday, 12 August 2014

Darker Days

Today in reality didn't even stand a cat in hells chance, Robin Williams died today and as always the world decided to have it's say, thankfully most of the comments were of the positive kind, as positive as you can when somebody suffering from depression takes their own life. It's never easy for the family but everyone still doesn't give a fuck, as always the world keeps turning.

I'm doing a week of early shifts so my writing like my moods have been sporadic, too much going on to concentrate on one thing and work being! (cack) yesterday had been a good(ish) day and an early night meant I was like a drunk puppy when I awoke at stupid o'clock and my wife told me the news about Robin Williams, I'm not going to say I was a huge fan (I could take or leave most of his stuff) I liked what I liked and what I didn't I soon forgot about, what I did find refreshing was his honest approach to his issues, drink, drugs and depression, tomorrow is my last appointment with my therapist, she is of the opinion that she cannot do anything else for me, it's time for me to move on, has it helped? without a doubt! do I think I'm cured? fuck no!

I have been suffering from my little condition for in excess of thirty two years, thankfully my wife and family and friends have helped through some crap times and have hopefully enjoyed the few good times that has been along the road, I know I have been a pain sometimes and I know I will be again hopefully less than intended, depression is an insidious bed fellow and kicks you when you least expect it, it bullies you when you can least fight it, I know a lot of people out there are suffering, no not just me, it's not about me, take a good long hard look at the person you are closest to! they say one in four  people suffer from depression, at various times I'm in charge of 180 people at work do the math that's a lot of unhappy people, it's not all sweetness and light and it's not all self inflicted, some people have some serious problems that are not easily resolved, some inevitably take the wrong route and go down the path that can not be walked again, thankfully in all of my darkest days I have steered clear of it, please give some time to those who did.

I wanted (see I'm being selfish today) this week just to slide, I want tomorrow to come and go as quickly as possible, I want my therapy to end and I want to stand on my own two feet and see if I can ride the bike of life without my stabilisers on, no matter happens I don't intend to give up without a fight, what ever happens just remember everybody needs H.O.P.E - Hold On Pain Ends, until the next happier time.......Toodles

And if you are in the mood for some subtle Robin Williams look out for a little film called The Secret Agent, he's not credited it's a Bob Hoskins film but he steals the film for me and what and end to a film, enjoy and remember live life like you stole it, as you only get one chance, this isn't a dress rehearsal!

Saturday, 2 August 2014

Random thoughts on a warm sunny day!

And again I get deviated from what I intended to do (oooh a butterfly) and the last blog randomly generated did good numbers and got some great responses so that lifted my tired spirits, I had intended to blog again the next day but with good numbers I didn't want to dilute the good will, so I went off in search of inspiration, started a number of ideas and here are more than a week later with me going D'OH!

Positivity has returned in most aspects of my life except work but with a light at the end of that particular tunnel with regards that particular problem, I will keep trying to do my best, I have a hell of a blog gestating so watch this space! for a lot of these last few days I have been travelling on a plague carrier more than normal, and with only one bout of sleepy time I have been generally been writing down tons of random thoughts, these will be randomly dispensed throughout this blog.

"I wonder if the infra red beam used to trigger taps and toilets might cause cancer?"

Therapy has been a bit of a nuisance (in a good way), I'm sure it's meant to be, but it's focusing on me in this present time, so I'm not really enjoying  that but you will discover that when the new book arrives (very soon boys and girls very soon) it's something I am putting more and more work into at the moment, soon the polishing begins then I will have to work out all over again how to publish the bloody thing!

"I might just set up a walks with broken hoop twitter account just to be controversial"

I have done this and although I have posted some good stuff I have but one person following me (thanks Mr Harrison) so go find me I know I have the potential to hit double figures so do the deed or I might go on a down wards spiral ......NOT! it's for fun and for random crap that wouldn't/couldn't make it into a blog normally.

"damn I just realised that most modern technology laughs at me!"

My mind is generally busy in totally random ways and usually I use it not to dwell on my many thousands of issues.....well maybe not thousands, just crap all  the time and I believe this is why I get bogged down in my book projects (I have about 11 on the go which truthfully if I don't pull  my finger out and concentrate will never come to fruition) what starts off in a good vibe usually gets dragged to the dark side and gets the fuck kicked out of it by my neurosis, hopefully when my therapy ends I might revisit and salvage some of the better material.

"I might write a children's book but then again I might just dye my hair blonde.....again"

My mind rarely stays in one place and sometimes I have great ideas and very rarely do I have some thing to write all of these down, normally  I could just be looking out of the plague carriers window trying to avoid/annoy the incoming passengers but something will set the juices flowing (oh look a butterfly) and I insist that I will remember long enough to get it onto paper, but normally when I do put pen to paper it has dried up and died as its been too long since it received sustenance.

"Ah just fuck off and die!"

Thankfully of late my mind has not been full of blackness just tons of shit that I really do need to sort through, put it in some form of order so that my life does not get bogged down by crap (like it normally does) interacting with some  of you peeps also helps and that's why I intend to climb back on the rocking horse and blog more, the book and treatment has been sucking me dry so to speak and always I'm concerned of muddying the waters if I put too much stuff out there so I have to find that balance all over again!

"Custard cream or Hobnob?".....................As if!

I intend to avoid getting my life in a rut and the that is what I am trying to concentrate on, as I head to wards oblivion, OK so I'm nearly fifty I realised that the last few years I have ground to a bloody halt. it hasn't helped but the only person who can deal with it is me, thankfully helpful people (you know who you are) have nudged my boat out into  the eddy's of a stronger current so that this boat can be lifted off the sand banks that I have endured off late.

"Bus seat bingo or shall I be boring today?"

I will to admit to missing my friends, not just the ones I have now, but the ones I used to have and although I wish for good times again with this little band of people I know deep down that the world has moved on, it appears we didn't need each other anymore and we moved on (did they or do  they miss me as I have missed them?), they all know where  I live but they never visited, although some would say I knew where they live but didn't do it either, what with my issues and the state police watching my every move ( I will get tons of shit for that last remark) it has never happened and this is partly as to why my little black cloud moved in and didn't pay it's fair share of the rent! I occasionally bump into people from school, peeps who I was friendly with and they re introduce themselves into my life for just a short period of time and they are more than welcome, I don't think I was that memorable or even that popular as a child (yes I did have friends but not a lot of them) and don't really want to suffer any rejection to confirm that particular statement so as always I keep a low profile, a lot of people never believe it but I am and have always been very shy!

"mmm rain"

The good weather is not helping me believe it or not I don't mind good weather but my eyes do, I always walk around like a bloody china man (no racism intended) but also  the fact that I am a fat person the heat just wipes me out, and lets be honest there's a lot of us fat people and when you get on the a plague carrier it smells of cooking pork.......go figure! 

"oooh a butterfly"

My mind sometimes just goes around and around in circles it's not always a good thing and at times it is way too easily distracted, I need to find a hobby and sooner rather than later, lots of people say I have a great hobby (writing) but to be honest if I didn't blog I probably would be certified I really do need to get out of the house more and not just for work.

"bored again maybe I should blog!"

Blogging is great but I need to rediscover the person who didn't give a shit, and I would go where ever when ever, nowadays a trip to a hospital by myself is an exciting adventure for this boy blunder what ever happened to the guy who wake up and go fuck it I'm off to...........wherever !

"oh a piece of candy"

Blogging although exercises the mind doesn't help the fat boy blunder typing away here, its the world I need not sat indoors typing all day every day, my long list of small chores is testament to that. it's not just for me that I want do better generally in life it's also for my family, wife, kids and grand kids, I'm sure you get the picture there is no real reason why I should be Mr Grumpy all of the time!

" maybe I should just quit blogging"

I actually tried it, and I wasn't happy for the longest time, so for now I shall keep plugging away, go find me on twitter, go look a the web site I set up and ruined in the same day, go buy some books you tightwads and most of all press like on whichever social network you use spread the disease, the stronger we get the better (hopefully t will get0 until next time, which hopefully will be sooner than you think, enjoy your time with family and friends keep watching the sky for incoming .....Toodles!