Friday, 27 June 2025

Dark Days in Paradise.


I have discovered that we are not living in a brave new world, that was going to be the name of this blog until I discovered that I had already used it, so I thought of a better one, it’s rather more apt.

Life has taken a turn for the worst for some reason, I have been pretty much jolly since the beginning of the year, trying to be positive, trying to be helpful, just generally being a good egg, now it hasn’t been easy there are some complete trumpets out there in the world, and they have succeeded in dragging me down! It seems to start with the little things, it’s always the little things, it’s like water it finds someplace to get into and causes absolute chaos!

Since the beginning of this week there has been generally  a gloomy feeling as the day progress’s, the more I deal with people the more I despair for the people on this planet, and to be honest I don’t care for the bulk of them they bring it on themselves, the intention here is for me to rant, get everything off my chest, something I need to do as everything caught up with me this morning and I had an angina episode, nothing that was going to send me up the stairway, but enough for me to go “ow”.

Work has turned to treacle, and again I don’t intend to go into too much detail as that’s what got me wound up in the first instance, I like my job, I like 99.9% of the people but just because they are educated, it doesn’t mean that they are clever, its just me now instead of two gophers and an engineer, now its simply one gopher and the workload has exploded, there are some cunning plans, it’s not like they aren’t trying to resolve the issues, it simply wont be resolved over night (a lottery win would resolve it), I was fighting the good fight and was doing alright until I was pulled aside yesterday and I was told that there had been a complaint, I started racking my brain because this job is way different than my last job, although I was a good boy there, I still tended to reply before my brain had engaged “adult answer” this job “adult answer” is permanently engaged, or so I thought, it was explained as I was teaching when discussing arson and the people who perpetrate it I called them” NEDs” that’s None educated Delinquents, and somebody had taken offence, if they had heard my response when I was told they would have been really offended, I wanted to go and hunt them down, but my anger soon subsided and pity flooded my brain, as I thought how petty they had to be, put it played on my brain and I left work as soon as I possibly could, I got home and I wasn’t in my best mood, I apologised to wife, but the mood stuck with me and I fell asleep in the chair downstairs for the longest sleep in nearly three months (over seven hours if anybody is interested).

I awoke to my alarm sounding something that hasn’t happened in nearly four years and although groggy I knew that my mood hadn’t lifted, I had the desire to build a cupboard under the stairs and crawl into and ignore the world, unfortunately I had to get my big boy pants on and suck it up, I got myself sorted and set off for my bus (yes I’m a bus wanker) and the vibe I gave off meant absolutely nobody sat anywhere near me, I got to my halfway point then changed buses after a twenty minute wait (in the old days I would have simply walked the distance in that time) we got on but by the forth stop all the bells and whistles were going and the driver jumped out in shock, he was straight on the phone but ignored everybody so about 95% of us got off, most people seemed to close to their destination, I had a three quarters of a mile to walk so I set off slowly (its my only speed these days) ten minutes later the same bloody bus passed me, I wasn’t happy and my mood was out of the cellar and digging to the earth’s core, I trudged on in pain but I was determined that I wasn’t going to be late.

Halfway there when I was as low as I could I bumped into a member of staff going in the opposite direction, their professionalism lifted my spirits, a brief chat nothing serious just the weather and where was I heading but it relit the spark and I was back trudging (what like felt) up the mountain, I got there just as the security team ( I had mentioned that I may not got in the building and that nice lady had tried to organise me a lift as well as assist me in to gain entry to the building) got there and we exchanged insults as we English tend to do, that’s how we get through life, we had a bit of banter and they cracked on, I chuckled as I entered the building (my pass did get me in) the staff on site were super helpful and that’s when God decided he would have a little fun and I’m glad I was sitting down as my angina kicked in! again the staff were super attentive (I’m ok its only indigestion……erm not!).

Thankfully when the angina faded away (yes I used my spray) I got on with the job in hand and was soon finished the inspection part, the writing up will take longer (all 34 pages) but my mood was lifting, not joyous, but better, thankfully there was no “Bob” (please see previous blogs) I think even he sensed I would have tore him a new arse if he had tried his shenanigans! The thing that has affected my mood is that I don’t feel as though I belong, I feel as though I’m not good enough for the people around me, I’m not sure that I want to belong, if I’m being brutally honest, who knows, I know I certainly don’t!

My feelings of unhappiness were certainly at a high tidal mark ( I just hope it hasn’t left a stain) in the scheme of things , thankfully as they return to a normal level( again I’m not happy but I’m not as unhappy as I was) I need to give my head a shake and get on with things simply for the benefit of every one else, the youngest is here helping out and her and the wife have gone swimming (that’s a good thing for the wife) so I need to complete all of my work tasks, well most of them, then onto plotting new cunning plans and raids across foreign shores (that just means we actually leave the house to do something other than food shop), I didn’t have a plan for a blog as the numbers have been going through the roof and I was distracted, maybe that’s why I have been down so much this week, don’t worry normal service may/will return in the coming weeks.

Thank you to all the people who have been reading the old blogs and have been leaving comments, no they don’t show on the blogs anymore as I have them hidden and I don’t respond to them unless I do Now Hear This type of blog, so stop pestering me and watch this space, the weekend is coming over the hills and across the moors the hurricane is potentially coming to visit (that will bring cheer to this miserable old git) oh I need to be careful there could be complaints about my language , so onwards watch the skies for incoming please stay safe and stay alive until the next time………………..Toodles!  

Thursday, 19 June 2025

Man on the Edge.


For some reason I have had this song in my head all week, I have no reason why, I mean I’m not even a big fan of it, I simply can’t seem to shake the bloody thing!

So yes, the name game is in play for anybody who wants to play along, the only real bright spot in my life at the moment is the numbers for the blog, simple things for a simple man, I know I said it before you all piled in.

The title could have been any number of songs, but generally I seem to be falling an awful lot of late both figuratively and actually! We keep getting curve balls thrown at us, and although we seem to dodge most of them, it still seems to gets us on the rebound, I have tried to be good, but life keeps kicking me in the butt.

Work seems like I am the mole in whack a mole and it’s only going to get worse; I also didn’t win the EuroMillions this week so there’s no sign of my escape planning coming to fruition, well not yet! I took a slight tumble as I tried to motivate myself to get to a bus stop in time for me to make a connection, however it turns out the bus I saw and thought was going to take me to my destination went the other way and my futile attempt to pick up speed simply made me look like the old man that I have become, copious amounts of painkillers got me through the next 24 hours, go figure!

I realise that I’m no longer the world class (cough splutter) athlete that I once was, but my ego has been seriously delated in the last few months! We initially had a bit of good fortune but it’s still tempered with the ongoing saga of the crap with the estate of the kraken, which two years down the line is really starting to annoy me and its simply not helping the wife and her grieving, it’s like a scab that just as it heals gets ripped off and we have to start all over again, Legal people have one speed…..SLOW! the wife sorted out 99% of the issues within 14 days here we are 24 months later and the issue still isn’t resolved, we wont see any money out of it, we don’t care,  we simply wanted to clear the debt, all the while interest is still accruing I still say we should wash our hands of it and walk away, we have spent over a thousand pounds of our money paying for things including insurance, I keep getting told that there’s a light at the end of the tunnel, I have a sneaky feeling it’s an oncoming train!

Music still is a massive part of my emotional blanket, I’m glad I don’t drive, simply as I drift off into the memories that surface while listening, one of the main joys this week is the remastered version of Queen’s debut album with an added track I must have played it more than half a dozen times, but I still go back to when I first heard it in 1974, who knew it would still be with me all these years later, I have to admit that six of the first seven Queen albums have been in heavy rotation this week, you have to rely on the classics!

A number of cunning plans keep resurfacing this week we simply have to pick one and walk briskly with it, I would say run but neither myself or the wife can…...at the moment! The wife is coming up on the outside lane with a dodgy knee (in a manner of speaking) I can’t say I sympathise, as I am suffering just as bad, as I set off to work to complete yet another 10000 to 18000 steps carrying a 23.9 KG bag ( I know its 24 KG it’s a two person lift and there’s only me so go figure) I have to tell myself telling her to “Suck it Buttercup” would probably see me stop breathing in the middle of the night, I might be dumb but I sure ain’t stupid (erm……).

So, that’s another blog complete let’s see if the numbers continue to rise, I don’t care as it something of a mystery why all of a sudden people start to read the back editions of the blog, but over 5000 hits in the last week is a bloody good mystery for me to have, so until the next one stay safe and stay alive, but for now it’s Toodles!

Sunday, 8 June 2025

Right Here Right Now. Part 2.


Life seems to be one long cluster fuck after another at the moment, in my home life, Work, my Health, you name it, its circling the drain, but I’m not going down without a fight!

Work, there was/is redundancies, I was told I was safe, but my opo went and now my boss who was knocked back has left anyway, he went and got another job and is away so that leaves me, all by myself (I’m sure that there’s a song in there somewhere) yeah with the way my health is, let’s just say it’s getting interesting!

My Home Life, well there’s always drama in and around us, not between me and the wife, just nothing going according to plan, the wife has severe health issues and is now following me down the route of having a dodgy knee, I’m not being helpful as I suffer every day, me simply saying suck it up buttercup hasn’t helped at all…….OOPS!

My health is as crap as ever, I did have a rant at the last appointment saying I was doing everything that they have asked me to do with little or no success, to say I’m a bit miffed is an understatement, and a stern message was delivered, do something that will help or I will go off reservation and I don’t give a damn on the consequences! The staff are great, however they are following the party line, they know my feelings and they know I will follow through with my promise!

About the only thing that’s been doing well is this, the blog itself, for some reason peeps have been reading back issues and the numbers are through the roof, and I have no idea why!

Technology isn’t helping as my laptop has gone through a number of upgrades and now it seems to do whatever it likes, admittedly this particular laptop is 14 years old and all though I do have a couple of newer ones this is the one that appears to act as my muse, unfortunately most of the various platforms that I interact with peeps seem to not want to talk to me, so if you have been conversing with me and are not now, blame technology and not the luddite operating this fine piece of technology!

And that’s me disappearing down the rabbit hole, trying to gain some semblance of sanity, to be honest at the moment I really don’t give a rat’s ass about most things, but my bilge pump has stopped working and soon I’ll be drowning and not waving! People seem to like this type of blog 500 words and under so lets see how this one does, the last music one did above average and I have another nearly finished so hopefully will be along before to lo soon, so on that note, thanks for the peeps doing the reading, watch this space as there is more on the way soon!