Comfortably Numb

Back to work back to reality, hey ho needs must and all of that, I do need to keep the wolf from the door, so its heads down and arses up and not in a sexual kind of way! after a week off there was an awful lot to do, I had as always a cunning plan and basically kept my head down and just got on with it, it’s pointless me whinging (trust me this isn’t whinging purely a statement of facts) as there’s only me to do  the task, thankfully the week progressed in an orderly manner there wasn’t too many silly people even when I was in charge of the asylum for a duty manager shift towards the latter part of the week.

Thursday arrived with a slight lie in, a quick bacon sandwich for me and the wife and then it was time to get the plague carrier to head down the hills to civilisation (allegedly) I was perturbed as my MP3 player had gone walkies, I knew it wasn’t lost altogether, but in the rush to tidy up for Christmas it had gone  missing in the melee, and I was a grumpy guts all the way to work, getting off said transport and walking into the first idiot of the day didn’t help, thankfully that didn’t set the tone of the day as someone rushed to my aid to take said lunatic out of my line of fire. I then had a training course which soon descended into chaos, I won’t bore you with the details, let’s just say like watching the film Troy we won’t be getting that time back in our lives to do something productive!

The shift mercifully went over quick although still a late finish, with the wife doing her good deed of the fortnight by picking me up from the asylum I made good my escape and I was soon ensconced on the settee within 30 minutes of finishing my shift, just what was required so I could have an early night as I was doing a quick return the following morning as I was off on a jolly jaunt to Manchester for a training course, it would appear that the mountain does have to go towards Mohammed! So I headed up the wooden hill as the clock struck midnight (wtf how did that happen) thankfully I was soon fast asleep and thankfully climbed out of my pit at the allotted time, I’m way too old for this shit, it turns out that I can survive on only fours sleep oh dear car crash coming! The only good thing to come out of my trip away is that I changed my coat and discovered the lost MP3 player ……. hallelujah praise the lord!

Once at my desk I finished off a couple of tasks from the previous night while awaiting the troops ascending to go in one piece of transport, as we had a number of different centres to head to climb the mount as they seem to think that they are better than the rest of us, thankfully everybody turned up on time but I was a tad slow upon entering the minibus and I ended up with small middle seat at the front of the vehicle this was going to be awkward, you see I may be an overweight person and I can fit into quite a small space, it was the immobility of legs that was going to be the problem, and then we were off all restricted to 63 miles per hour oh joy! At least I had organised a large supply of sweeties to keep the kids occupied!

The weather was horrific really bad rain and with all the works on the roads meant that a two and a half journey ended up being four hours (with only the tinniest toilet break for the ladies) we hurried across the site and yes you guessed it, nobody had waited even though we were only thirty minutes, this was because of an upside down Audi just outside of Manchester we even rang ahead and told them how long we were going to be, they could have had an extra cup of tea, nope fuck the northern scum they just cracked on, my arse by this time after being cramped in the little area in the front was numb Jeremy Thorpe couldn’t have got any life back into it, we knew we were going to have the last laugh because as soon as we walked in there was the same chaos that we had witnessed the day before, different course same result!

We found seats or in my case I stood at the back hoping that the circulation would return, at this point I was asked to sit, when I politely declined, I was ordered to sit (you can see where this is going can’t you)I wasn’t so polite this time and I described in great detail that I had been travelling for four hours to get there and the fact that my arse was numb I would probably end up on the floor, I was a tad more polite when I enquired if we should step outside and have a private conversation regarding the numbness of my arse! Thankfully common sense returned as the person taking the course could see we were all ready to kick off, once again the chaos descended, after an hour and a half the course was halted while we had a (very poor) lunch only to be told at the end of it that the course was being cancelled while they thought long and hard about some of the questions already raised, somebody’s arse was going to get kicked thankfully not mine, so we headed for home not before the ladies went off to M&S and bought wine and nibbles.

We climbed back aboard the transport and headed homeward bound, why not swap? well believe it or not the two smallest were in that position and the ladies who would have been better off in the front said no and got stuck into the wine, so much for democracy, thankfully the sun was shining and the only restriction on the journey back north was the sixty-three miles per hour restriction that was holding the engine back, thankfully we pulled in with the minimum of fuss (the ladies had gone off to the land of nod earlier in the journey) and we all slid out of the seats, everybody had numb arse syndrome we all praised the lord upon ejection.

The wife collected me, with a surprise of the hurricane in the back of the car, even if he was a tad subdued, it was late for him but I was shocked when he said that he wanted to go straight to bed when he got in, so off he went and he slept for nearly twelve hours, an early rise and some car play with his track and stuff before we took him home, I was doing a good deed for the Chaplain at work and then we were off to see Star Wars, some time for ourselves which in itself is a rarity these days, we enjoyed it and upon getting home I tweaked this a bit, inserting some stuff and deleting other bits as I am trying to keep the blogs “up” just a little bit!

Today was me being left to my own devices and I sank quicker than the Titanic once the wife was out of the door, I have no idea why, thankfully I was back on an upward climb by the time I heard the car screech into its parking space, I made a lovely dinner for the lady of the house (mince and dumplings if you are interested, it was nice even if the gravy was a tad weak) so I then was late out of the blocks for this the last version of this week’s blog. The blogs have done fab, numbers are steady but I panicked as I thought we nearly had an infestation of the R word (no not rats) thankfully this proved not to be the case, so here I am a little happier already plotting next week’s blog with hopefully a gig tomorrow at The Sage (you will have to guess) and then going down country at the end of the week to see the wonderful FM even though we have booked the hotel five miles from the venue, I have no idea how SMOR finds a country never mind a bloody venue!

So there you have it, are we returning to an even keel probably not, but one has to try, as always thank you for all of the kind comments and questions, although I have been tempted to do an interview type of blog as I have been asked loads of questions by you lot the discerning readers (WTF) ……....................go figure! So that’s us out of here, watch the skies for incoming, until the next time ……………...Toodles!