This week has dragged on sometimes it was like running through treacle, I wasn't having the best of times, nor was I having the worst, I just wasn't getting the traction I wanted with the world, so consequently everything felt (although it more than likely wasn't)off kilter, little things became huge things and I retreated from the world I didn't want to play, I always aim to do my best for people but a lot of people seem to be out for themselves, so when I end up in this frame of mind I soon become angry and then insecure, then well just read the blog and see what you think?
Music was my saviour playing lots of weird and wonderful stuff, not to everybody else's taste but it was to mine, I attacked the base of the tidal wave of work with as much vim and vigour as I could muster, but there is only so many ways you can kill a zombie, I was missing the company of my wife , no the not one where we argue or only see each other for about ten minutes of the day, I wanted the one with the same sense of humour the same taste in music my partner in crime, the one that I love unashamedly. it turns out I was to be in charge of the asylum on Saturday so I took the Friday as a lieu day (modern Britain you don't get paid for working unsociable hours)in the vain hope I could spend some time with her, but I had to get to the finish line first.
An invitation for a meal and an executive seat at the match from work arrived too late in the day although my little pit-bull who found out I was invited late, made sure everybody's night was spoilt because I wasn't invited in time, some people do the smallest things to cheer you up lol! I continued on the Thursday helping some nice (allegedly) people with a deadline that could have had some serious consequences for them (Not me) but I took time out of my busy day to help (cause that's what I'm like) then as the end of the deadline I dragged their sorry arses across the line and spiked the ball, I then went home as I work different hours to them (proper work hours while they work office hours) only to get home and to switch on my computer to see that they had all been taken for a slap up meal for indeed crossing the finish line on time, everybody slapping themselves on their backs and not one single word of credit for the person who actually helped save their sorry arses (GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR) now if I'm honest I wouldn't have went, I'm anti social and the whole world knows it, however those very same glory seeking twats have just climbed to the top of my list......that's my shit list!
Thursday night was ruined simply by me plotting revenge, I know I'm being pushed to the side-lines at work while people jockey for position to brownnose senior management that's why they will always lose, because I don't play games, I go to work do my job to the best of my ability (and I know exactly how good I am at my job .....damn good I have saved the fire brigade five and a half million pounds yes you read that right million! in the last seven years go find anybody in the country that has done that and I will show you a picture of .........ME) anyway I digress and yes I was festering Thursday night was spoilt (it doesn't take much) a simple thank you was all that was required, maybe because I don't go around shouting how good I am, anyway I had Friday off what could possibly go wrong....................................
I slept a little late, not much a little over an hour and I felt like hammered shit, I wasn't firing on any cylinders at all, I was hoping some fresh air might help I hadn't got my bus pass (no I'm not that old) on Thursday because I was helping people, its what I do! (do I sound bitter hell yeah) the wife had to call into work so we could kill two birds with one stone and just being in her company kick started the battery, no arguments just us being on the same page, skint nothing to spend, just us enjoying each others company. we did what we had to do and the wife suggested an early lunch her treat...........go on then, we had a little chore to do and we couldn't decide on what to do or where to go? as it happens we ended up back in Gimpsville parked up at home and walking the 500 yards to the local spoons, I was for some reason by now sinking not feeling great, not in need of an ambulance but strange and totally not one of this world!
We grabbed a high table as the place was full of people having the same thought as us, and I was totally holed below the water line, my head was bouncing and I felt crap, I let the wife decide (Fish & Chips) well she was paying, and the food duly arrived only for me to.............(I hope you are all sitting down) not be able to finish the Fish! never mind the actual meal, the wife asking me if I needed actual medical assistance, the reality was all too weird I wanted to go home and lie down I felt awful, I picked at my meal until the wife finished hers and mine! I struggled home and before the wife had the front door locked I was asleep on the settee where I stayed for a few hours. once I awoke I felt better but not rested or even good I felt drained, I have noticed since being diagnosed as a diabetic and have been given medication to take I feel like shite all of the time, this getting old malarkey is no good no good at all!
I was early to bed, bomber command mask in place and asleep well before the wife and then again I was up and about doing all manner of crap before she even stirred her bones, the plague carrier was on time and thankfully not full, I didn't bother with bus seat bingo ( I have all next week for that) I got off the bus and got to the asylum and I was soon............ angry, now I have no idea why, most people know me as an approachable person, However I just growled through the whole day and everybody knew, the message soon spread, my motto is if I'm there to work so are all the people getting paid to be there! when I'm in that frame of mind people know. Now don't get me wrong me being like Genghis Khan is still better than most of the asswipes who are just mean just because they can be, I will always give you a chance but on days like this a second chance will never happen, however once the deed is done for once I don't hold a grudge, (WTF!) get on with it the world keeps turning!
As always with a Saturday at the asylum, its bedlam lots of stupid people mingling with sensible people who just want to get on with life and the likes of myself and the team continually putting fires out (please excuse the pun) most of which just goes to prove how the hell does the human species ever get to be the top of the food chain, again one of the team from Thursday was partnered with me being a mentor......hahahahaha you had your chance go deal with some stupid people on your own for a change oh the joy, thankfully I was out the door for 4.30..........................allegedly!
Once again the wife exceeded herself and was back to her good old time keeping ways, she only arrived an hour and ten minutes late, not a record for her and that is a worrying theme! I wasn't too bothered for a change (I know me with my reputation) I chilled and relaxed and didn't do any more work, which was frustrating for the staff who were asking for help, who knew Fuck off And Die was an insult? the blue streak finally arrived and we were on our way, we were finally going to be spending some time with close friends, we just didn't know who, once at our destination we found a parking space at our usual religious institution, we just then had to find a cash point that didn't charge us for getting at our money, cue a drag around the bottom end of the town before arriving at Central Station and then on to the Union rooms, I will admit to being by this time well and truly goosed the day was catching up with me, but upon arriving at the Union rooms I was blown away by the people who were there peeps I hadn't seen in ages and a great conversation was had by all, tiredness was soon forgotten I actually didn't manage to get a drink until 10 minutes before leaving (mind you the wife was controlling the purse strings) I didn't even notice my spirits were lifted with awesome company something that has been missing for the last few months friends do indeed make a difference!
SMOR had come through again indeed his guest list was 30 + 1, more than the rest of the two bands put together, we headed up to the venue it was then that I realised just how old I feel these days, the walk to the venue is up hill and it took it out of me, the hurricane that was blowing didn't help, while the wife did the walk of shame to the box office I was confident that I could have fixed the fire alarm issue that the venue had isolated, ooops sorry its hard not to do my job out in the real world, I'm not a fan of the venue because of all of the stairs and bands have a tendency to use the PA system provided and not bring there own, consequently the sound is shite, the only bands that have a great sound in the venue........bring their own PA system! I'm also conscious of my own frailty, I can't go off into the crowd, if the venue is full my knees play tricks on me, I also need to sit from time to time only for a few seconds but it can't be helped.
That's when I feel for the wife who loves being in the thick of it, the crack and the bouncing about, I simply can't do it anymore, cue depression, cue feeling for sorry for myself , cue the downward spiral, it doesn't take much, thankfully just at the moment of despair the keeper of the royal hounds arrived with his lady and the night rocketed for me, although there is a photo of me looking like a misery, probably a good reason for why I disappear when cameras are produced (I really do need to do something about my demeanour..........honest I was enjoying myself) we missed the first band by choice, the time was spent more wisely catching up with old friends rather than getting acquainted with a new band ....maybe next time, Black Star Riders were the first band really to be studied and if you have not heard of them, you will know them better as Thin lizzy, and they were quite good.............however come on boys you have two albums out now its time to rely more on the new stuff seven lizzy songs in the set and some of the more crappy ones, throw a curve ball or two in rather than the expected versions, we had seen the at hard rock hell and had enjoyed their company over a pizza and beers and found them to be really nice peeps even if Scott Gorham is like the queen and doesn't carry money! last night seemed to be a tad disjointed but still good, everybody seemed to enjoy them, maybe I was (as always) just being too critical, me with my reputation hahahahaha maybe! they had the place rocking maybe being at the back of the venue took some of their potency from them, next time only do a couple of lizzy numbers and do some different stuff............mind you I did enjoy Massacre awesome song!
Then more chinwag and me doing my best wallflower impersonation, in a venue with 1500 people in someone broke wind and the wife asked if it was me........cheers, and for the record it wasn't me! then what seemed like an eternity for the headline act who were on a pretty restricted timetable because we get thrown out of the venue at Ten so that the students can have some fun (twats) but nope the road crew take their own sweet time, then the tedium started, now don't get me wrong Europe never do a bad gig they play and sing brilliantly even at the bad ones and tonight was one of those gigs it was like we were at a rehearsal more than a gig Joey Tempest usually such a great front man seemed as if he would rather be enjoying a bottle of wine at some fancy restaurant, the set list left a lot to be desired as well, they always play a lot of new songs off their latest album, it was released on Tuesday boys, in this day and age how many people do you think have bought it? two new tracks max and then play the hits ......even the newer hits, you insist on playing one of the worst songs from the prisoner in paradise album and never play the better stuff, oh we better rock it up lets do scream of anger, predictable in every way and it seemed telephoned in, the segue way into here I go again was a nice touch but thanks to You tube we know you have done it loads of times. it was only a matter of time before people started leaving and they soon did we managed 45 minutes and we looked at each and thought lets get the hell out of dodge!
Once outside it appeared that we were going for something to eat, but because it was unplanned we didn't know where we were going, up towards the middle of the town and the knuckle draggers that populate the area at that time of the night, we picked our way through hell (The Bigg Market) only to find that our first choice had finished serving for the night, so we turned around and entered the second establishment who welcomed us with open arms and we soon ordered and sat and waited and behaved like human beings and my week was saved, I felt like a valued person again, talking nonsense and all manner of things in general I just soaked the atmosphere in, I realise that I have a long way to go on my own road to salvation but with friends like these, well I think I have a bloody good chance to get there, now can you please delete the grumpy looking picture!
Food arrived and consumed (those where some big balls..............meatballs that is) the night although not rushed was over way too soon, and we picked our way through the casualties of the night back to the cars, we said our goodbyes and headed back to our respective hills, home way too soon I was able to do my best known impersonation that I do.....person sleeping on couch! only to be shaken awake and off up the wooden hill to the land of nod properly, I declined my bomber command mask so I could actually turn the right way and hold the wife as I drifted off to snoozeville, I was awoken this morning with the wife bringing me a cup of tea in bed (WTF!!!!!!!!!!) I came downstairs ate a small breakfast and have sat listening to oodles of music while typing this (cough splutter) masterpiece!
How do I feel today actually medically the best I have felt all week (music does that to people) last night was the best night of the year so far, the only tinge of sadness was that G & E were not there, well not physically but in spirit always, The Tee Hee Club will rise again! I intend to go with the flow today and not be too spiteful, I have yet another busy week coming up, I have realised that I am hiding myself at work, emotionally I don't have to connect to anybody while I'm there I know it has to stop I never used to be this insular person even when I was a misery, time to put my best foot forward be it only in small steps at a time, don't say that I didn't warn you lot!
That's it for the blog longer than I expected for something off the cuff, and yes I do feel a weight gets lifted after I blog, numbers are creeping upwards, not Pulitzer prize winning numbers but I'm happy with them, back to the grind with a couple of historical ones on the boil and incoming. thanks for all the likes, shares and comments keep spreading the disease and if you actually see me out in the street and you think what a miserable bastard, what you need to know that inside there is a little seed called happiness and its starting to grow, go figure until the next time Toodles!
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