I hate shaving ....there you go I said it, I have been shaving since I was 11, actually it would been later but my school indicated that the bum fluff had to go, from the age of 13 if I felt like being a rebel, I would first buy a Bic razor and then collect a Drs note as my face would be ripped to bits hence no shaving and my school could nothing about it , I never even considered shaving until I was taken aside one morning in assembly and told I needed to smarten myself up, this coming from Mr Binks the scruffiest teacher in school, oh how we laughed when I refused to comply, to be honest I wasn't a rebel at school I just didn't like being told to smarten myself up by someone who looked dressed and smelt like a bloody tramp
I then joined the army and then I had to shave twice a day, not because I was particularly hirsute, I just had a tendency to miss the odd hair, and I didn't want to end on a fizzer cleaning toilets or any other dirty job some NCO might find for me, I didn't mind shaving whilst in the army it was part of the job and it was a job I loved doing. That didn't last long and although I grew my hair when I left I didn't grow my beard back straight away, I looked like a child without the beard (ask my wife she thinks she will be arrested for child molestation......I wish!......ooops bad taste) I had no problem getting served in pubs, I had been buying my (older) brothers beer in bars for nearly three years although I never drank in a pub until I was 17, I wasn't very good at facial grooming, if I grew facial hair I had a tendency to just let it roam wild across my face.
Then I hit my late twenties and I started to not shave for a long time, and then soon I had stubble and it suited me, I liked it but again I had no idea on how to groom or style it, so when it become unsightly it was ripped from my face very quickly, I was clean shaven when I met my wife but she soon indicated that she loved the beard so it was kept, I remember the first time I shaved my beard off and said hello to my youngest, she wasn't happy at all about it. Then I finally got to grips and I started (badly) to groom shave and shape the direction of my facial topiary.
It soon started to go grey (have you met my family) and I loved it but then health issues kicked in and now when I go bed I have to be trussed up like bomber command (ok chaps lets head for home) so the top lip had to clean shaven so I could get a seal (so many jokes) so I am clean shaven for the longest time in the last 25 years and I hate it, I'm not saying that it was glamorous but it was mine and I hate not being able to have one.
The reason for this blog and the dramatic title well, according to the news today men's grooming is suffering a down turn and we are all starting to look like some TV refugee Arabs in some silly Cop show or like extra's in a ZZ Top video collection, but the real answer is the cost of the bloody things you need to get a mortgage to buy traditional wet shave razors, I could always go old school and buy a cut throat (lets not give me any ideas) but no I would in all honesty would love to have my beard back, but now that they are fashionable I think I will stay shaven, because I hate to follow any fashion, until the next time .............Toodles!
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