You know this is serious if I'm dragging Gene $immons into the fight, I know I have gone really silent these last few weeks but you know what I felt I deserved it, nope there was nothing wrong, well no more than usual, but I wanted to step away from the programme, I needed to know if the published word was indeed doing any good, turns out it does so here I am, y'all ready lets crack on then.
I have done a fair bit of writing some good some bad some that will be published some that won't be all in all a good experience, some dark some not so much, all in the mix and all of it at some point useable(in some form or another), maybe not just yet, but yeah I sit on stuff and stock pile it for a rainy day, go sue me if you feel that way inclined.
it's been a few weeks of work and not a lot else in the real world some unhappiness mainly work but that's for me and not the general public, some movement of people (a good thing for some and one genuinely dumb ass move but hey ho not my problem unless he comes a knocking on my door) just been soldering on, trying to help when I can, I even took some time off .....yeah me.....well it didn't quite work out as expected, lets just say that I wasn't disappointed I knew what was going to happen and it did, I need to get my arse into gear when it comes to time off I really do need that hobby!
Music has been played to death and it has as always helped me, maybe not other peeps , that's their issue! its the time of year we normally sort out our finances, unfortunately a number of things grew legs and caught us up, not a great issue but it just doesn't give us much room for manoeuvre , was I really put on this earth just to work, pay bills and die...........it looks like it!
My health is bugging me something rotten as I have been worse since taking the medication prescribed and I feel like I have been pushed to a cul de sac that I have no control over, my health issues are really starting to hound me, not just my mental health issues but life in general is getting all of his mates together and look like they are going to kick my arse big time, fingers crossed on this one, but I am under no illusions, its not like I am in denial(anymore) I am doing all the right things however it does look like I'm about run aground, not intentionally, lets just see where it leads us, you know you lot will be the first to know!
Life in the big bad world has been on a level playing field, meaning me and the wife have done jack shit of late, hence the no blogs, I do believe you have to lead a life if you intend to write about life, thankfully we went to a friends birthday party and that's what I'm getting to so bear with me as I meander to the point! as a rule I am in fact a shy person, I always have been, then I tend to over react in public situations I do well in small groups the bigger the group the more I tend to float to the extremities then internally decide that actually I'm better off by myself (so not the case) and that people will not miss me if I float off, I was notorious when I was younger for simply disappearing, and I used the excuse "oh I was pissed and I lost you all" that kind of issue, then people say "but you work with tons of people" actually when I'm at work its all a front I would much rather be right at the back, the number of times I have thrown up at work due to being shy, unfortunately I have to put bread on my family's table, so I have to man up and get with the programme the fact that I can do this at work doesn't always help in my private life, why the wife puts up with me I have no damn idea!
I bumped into an old work colleague earlier in the week and thankfully he was the same old tonic that he has always been, good chat, good times he helped refocus me and my self righteous attitude, kept the boat on an even keel got me through a potential minefield, work throws so many curveballs I never know what will come my way, that's why sometimes I can be so damn volatile. where is the birthday party that was mentioned well hang on to your hat its coming, the keeper of the royal hounds was one year older and we were invited it meant that I could spend the week preparing for the social assault on my senses, all in a good way I just don't want to spoil the party for the world, I was doing ok, not great but not bad either I just needed to prepare, preparation is the key!
The wife had to go work on the day and was having some minor issues, one was trying to wiggle out of paying to have a light repaired in the house (I don't do anything with Gas Water or the Electrical things, not with my reputation) dummy retrieved and wiped off and handed back to the wife (she still came off better financially) I then had an afternoon bonding with the youngest who was going to be dog sitting rather than being at the Kraken's for a change, the afternoon went well and I did my (mental) exercises for the coming night, the wife got home and she was a tad annoyed but I will let her let her start a blog about that one, a quick spin and we were on the road to happiness!
We arrived just about the time we said we would and the night was soon on a roll a few people who I miss from my day to day to life including the birthday boy, I was a good boy and avoided excessive alcohol consumption, I was in a good place I didn't need it, the night rocked on until we hit a speed bump! the wife had a game plan although we got there later than normal, the wife had tasks to complete the following morning and then back to work so the game plan was a necessity, as the night progressed I did gravitate away from the crowd that was to be expected, I was aware and I had my own game plan which took a tight bend when at the allotted time, the wife threw a spanner in the works when I reminded her of what we intended to do she piped up "there's the face " I had done really well up to this point I was now pissed off, only at the wife and I wasn't going to let it effect the rest of the party, I think the penny dropped and nearly an hour after she had wanted to leave, we said our farewells and headed back to Gimpsville, the birthday boy as always was gracious and said all the right things he's a good guy and there's not many of them left out there!
The journey as always was relatively quick back to hills of our house, mainly in silence I wasn't happy but I should have expected it the wife does an awful lot for me, whether she realises it, but little comments don't help, in the bad old days I would have raged on about it for days and I mean days, not in a violent way just in a pick pick pick kind of way! not a good way hopefully I'm better now, maybe the wife doesn't agree but I am doing my best and so far it's grooving in the right direction, today has been alright not world war three, maybe just some simmering lets see what happens when she gets back?
The blog numbers have been damned good, I could blog everyday at the moment but I notice that it dilutes the audience, so I have a good idea when saturation point and when it hits that I will do more, I'm getting to grips with you lot as rule and again thanks for all the good vibes we are nearly back to triple digits so that can only be a good thing! thanks for those of you who have decided to hang on and wait the train is back on the tracks so watch this space for any further literary nonsense, so until then Toodles!
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