Thursday 29 January 2015

Waiting

A self imposed exile from the blogging world, as life in the real world has taken a decidedly serious turn for a change, not for me personally but my world is running slightly off kilter as I sit here typing this here blog, the wife has been really ill for the last 7 weeks, getting better then getting much worse there's light at the end of the tunnel (allegedly) but it's right off in the distance so fingers crossed it hasn't been good. Work has been mental and the rest of the blog actually is mainly about that.....but as always I get ahead of myself. a close personal friend has also been told that he has only a short time to live, so I have also being trying to get a handle on that.

Blogging was the last thing on my mind I even stopped checking numbers for a short while, I had a blog sorted (still got it, I might even post it at the weekend)then I ran into technology issues and then a wall of self pity, and then everything went tilt, right then mother earth did what she does best and basically told me to saddle up it's going to be a bumpy ride, I set about looking after the wife who had been poorly for nearly seven weeks (I'm sure that I may have mentioned this I'm not trying to score points of sympathy for what happens later on in the blog)and I was concerned, dammit I even used the telephone to talk to .........another human being that's how concerned for the wife I was, a funny one step forward four steps back kind of illness, I had a trip to London for work and I couldn't get out of it, the wife was getting cranky and I knew how this would play.

As I said I was concerned the good lady of the house was hacking and hacking and hacking some more and not sleeping not a great mixture, the youngest actually had to come back from the kraken's and look after her mother, I had a trip to do and it wasn't what I wanted to do, the wife had attempted to go to work, and was sent home immediately, not before being a super trooper and collecting my train tickets for the jaunt, she came home and collapsed on the settee, coughing and wheezing just a tad, Sunday came and the youngest collected all her stuff up in a bundle and came home (via taxi)and we sent mother off to bed we then spent the day sorting out me for my journey, my taxi was booked for first thing in the morning.

Clothes sorted and bag packed we hit the hay and I soon drifted off to the delicate sound of thunder that was my wife trying to cough her lungs out! all the alarms were set but I needn't have worried I was awake long before they went off and I nimbly (just means I didn't fall over anything in the dark) picked my way through the Chinese laundry that is our bedroom, I was booted and suited long before I had to be, and I was even at the taxi office across the road a good ten minutes before I had to be, the driver was over the moon it meant that I wasn't going to impact on his regular early morning pick ups and I was deposited at Central Station in Newcastle a good fifty minutes before my train was due to leave, and there's me thinking that my wife is the only demon driver on the road, to be honest we never saw another car  on the road until we hit the car park so it was never going to take that long to get there!

I arrived at the platform to find out that the train had developed a fault and we were going to be travelling on a smaller train (it was still fecking huge) so we were split all over the place instead of being together, that didn't last long as one of our party had more neck than a giraffe and we soon all together again chatting and enjoying first class travel and all that goes with it, free drinks breakfast (which was yum yum) while others dozed I sat and people watched there's just as many freaks in first class as there is in a bus heading to the asylum on a regular jaunt to work.

As it was early morning most of the journey was done with the outside world in total darkness, I dozed slightly (me with my reputation) when I woke up I noticed there a small but delightful field of windmills which made me smile (hey what happened to me) we arrived at our destination while all the regular travellers jockeyed for position like troops spilling out of a landing craft on D day on one of the beaches waiting for the machine guns to starting spitting out their lead kisses ..........actually it didn't happen and we gathered our belongings and joined the massive throng of people pouring out the station towards the taxi rank like ants looking for something sweet! the lines were huge but a young chap soon marshalled us and the rest of us clones like cattle to the slaughter!

Our taxi driver was cheerful cheeky chappie who had us in stitches going on about that clan of rats who were everywhere, yes you guessed it "cyclists" what made it really funny was one of the nuggets coming off after a particularly spectacular suicide bid in a busy junction and jumping up as though nobody had noticed, every taxi driver tooted and shouted at him to let him know we had all seen it, I have nothing against two wheels but some of the moves that these people tried it appears that most are trying to die in a wonderful way so they can top the Darwin awards! we were soon ensconced in the London headquarters of the company that I sell my soul to just to keep a roof over our heads, it didn't start well as we had to listen to an insurance bod telling us without the aid of his PowerPoint presentation how we were at the vanguard of saving our company millions of pounds (no shit Sherlock) nice to see I'm not the only doofus when it comes to technology the meeting wasn't starting well we weren't even in a meeting room we were in the ground floor canteen, and we were all sat on benches like at school, after a lifetime the insurance man was wrestled to the ground and we ascended the lift to the third floor meeting room it got marginally better from there on.....only just!

I'm not going to give you a blow by blow account of fire safety in the nations shopping centres lets just say it was...........enthralling..................NOT! the day drifted on and then I received a text that cut my legs from under me, my best friend (the fittest person I know) at work announced he had been given weeks to live after a nearly a year off fighting the disease we all fear, it came back with a vengeance and my mind didn't stay in the meeting I retreated into what I do best I headed for a window and the skyline of London, I showed my boss who had been part of our travelling group the text and he was just as shocked as I was, the day had taken a dark turn, for once I didn't have a lot to say in the meeting I let others kick off when the need called for it, I was glad when the meeting was over (nearly 70 minutes over time) I just wanted to get back out in the street, my works phone had been capable of receiving texts in our head office but for some reason my personal phone hadn't, it soon sprang to life spitting out texts from friends and others talking about the news that had been announced, there was also a text from the Kraken.................no wait it was from the wife who was asking why I hadn't asked how she was, I couldn't believe the message I had been conversing with my daughter while my wife slept I resisted the urge to phone in a crowded taxi and kick off, I got to my hotel room and she get the message before I kicked off in atomic style I wasn't happy!

The wife had gone into spiteful mode (I know she was ill and I was concerned) but I was there for work and not some jolly jaunt, if I could have gotten out of it I would have (mind you in the long term it seems that I made the right decision to go) we danced like boxers looking for an opening thankfully nothing presented itself because the argument would have been ugly and we would both have been losers, not our finest moment, but something the wife does every time I go away (see previous blogs under the heading of paying for other peoples idiosyncrasies and being accused of being the same...........REALLY) I never go away with tons of money in my pocket we never have any ..........carried on at wifeandhermoneyishers.com, a meal had been organised and as always it turns into a long winded effort paid for by the managing director, its a time to chat and get to know each other, again I wasn't the fool I sat at the end of the table not wanting to mix, I didn't want to kill the night but I really didn't want to be there, I'm glad I wasn't drinking or paying for it as a pint would have been £8 a pint, others made up for my abstinence! I seemed to be waiting ages for our main course to arrive actually nearly an hour after the starter was trotted out and scoffed, the starter was decided for us and it was Mezz not what I wanted, but the easiest way to deal with us, a few people stopped by at my end of the table it would appear I have made an impression of people who I only usually see about once a year, I'm not the solitary island I seem to think of myself and I received one or two invites to go and visit and cast my opinion over their fiefdoms, maybe later in the year you never know, mind you it has been agreed that the next meeting shall be in my neck of the woods, that could get messy I hope the wife reads this as I am giving plenty of notice of my intention to show them all a great time!

Finally my main course arrived (I went with a lamb shank please see attached photograph ) and I devoured my meal in eleven minutes I then cut out from the restaurant to make two phone calls one to my friend which is probably one of the hardest things I have ever done and then to the wife to mend fences that we had both kicked down over nothing thankfully we did and I was in bed by twenty past nine in London and I slept the sleep of the dead until four thirty where I sat up like someone had kicked me right in the slats (the wife doing her Kraken impression with a voodoo doll of me perhaps) it was at that moment I realised I had gone to bed and not taken my medication damn I felt like hammered shite, I made a cup of tea had my chocolate hob nobs and waited, went for a walk, my hotel was right next to the London eye so an early morning jaunt along the embankment was a welcome relief, I lived here for nearly three years on and off over thirty years ago I realised now I never once stopped to smell the roses I barely know the place I waited for the sun to show its face, I went back to the hotel and have my ritual bath, then spent time waiting some more just wanting to go home and see my cantankerous wife who would just shout at me a bit more, I was done and deflated, I waited for the crew to descend for breakfast, the boss was paying so I certainly waited, some familiar faces (drunken bums) over the breakfast I ate my fill, old habits die hard and now everybody knew why I wasn't my best the previous night, mind you I would have still been in bed by ten hahahahaha the rock and roll life style I'm not allowed, we said our goodbyes and checked out and headed our own separate ways!

we got back to Kings Cross with plenty of time and while the coffee junkies went off in search of a fix, I was Jonesing for my own and I sat and wrote in a sidewalk cafĂ© about my adventures in the big smoke which consisted mainly of waiting. I very nearly turned into my dark pet I'm so glad I hadn't and the warm journey back to the (proper) north was soon over, and the second breakfast of Chicken Tikka Masala was lush yum yum! a minor complication soon presented itself when I couldn't find out where to get the bus home..............GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR, thankfully a friendly member of our wide awake club at work (that's the police to you) came to my assistance and I was back in Gimpsville by three in the afternoon safely back in the prison of my own making I mean the arms of my loving Krak....I mean wife...........I'm sure she will see the funny side of this (NOT).

Did I enjoy my time away, of course not as always I was made to feel as guilty as a husband fucking off to Benidorm for a stag do! I should have, but as always outside factors kicked in and I very nearly spun off into the direction of darkness, at some point I need to address that, maybe when I can get someone's undivided attention, these meetings are a necessary evil they are about networking and creating a team of people who can do the job better when they go forward as a team, damn who knew I would be an adult one day, when did that happen? my job I love it, I don't care much for some of the politics that go with it, let me just crack on and do it,
 
mind you a lottery win would help oh dear as if!

And that's what I have been up to, lots more work and early rises, trying to catch up but it dawned on me today I remember that the creator of Dr Suess once said Don't cry because it's over Smile because it Happened! and on that note Toodles!







Saturday 10 January 2015

Just for the record

I have realised that all I like(sorry that should read as LOVE) music, most of the artists that I love are primarily what are now known as "classic" rock I do like some new music.....just not much! I have to admit there are only a select handful that I have stuck with through thick and thin, Queen if I'm honest I think I stopped being a super fan around 1979 although I limped (and bought fucking everything with their name on it) on until the day Freddie Mercury died, still enjoyed some of the tracks but as a whole albums didn't match up to the seventies catalogue, Blue oyster cult I have never stopped loving them even through the "club ninja" period now as they preserve as Two oyster cult I still love them I just wished they released new music occasionally, Judas Priest need I say more OK so we will skip over Nostradamus! Kiss I still like the new stuff and I really don't care if the junkies/alcoholics aren't in the band they still rock so go figure, I could go on and on (what do you mean I usually do) but today I'm going to travel back in time to a band who on first listen I kind of rejected.............me with my reputation! how do I remember most of this shit? I don't, but I used to keep a diary and even in those days I would write down tons of shit purely because I could.

1982.

Music ....drink......music......more drink..............girls (not many but some)..................and lots more drink were the order of the day, me and the motley crew that I called friends may not have had lots of money, but we sure as hell did have some fun. off around Gimpsville (my hometown) off to Newcastle and Durham for local gigs and fun and frolics, off to London for more of the same as well as work some serious work music music and then some music! we would hit various venues I wonder how many bands that I like now I stood at the bar in the marquee (or various other music venues) because I didn't get, I few I did straight away (FM being one but that's another blog for another time). I do remember trying (if I was sober) to give any band that I saw a couple of songs at least but then again sometimes (in a fast show voice) I was usually very very drunk!

Summer of 1982 me and a few friends were off to the Theakston festival at Wakefield we had a choice of that or the Reading festival, I'm not a fan of outdoor gigs never have been and as for festivals well I went if there was going to be free drink (woo hoo) I had gone to the previous two Reading festivals and although they were good I hadn't enjoyed them from a drunk point of view (I kept wandering off and kept needing to be rescued) Theakston was one day so I could focus purely on the headlining band (Jethro Tull) and spend the day getting absolutely hammered. I made a rookie mistake  I took a new girlfriend with me and lets say it didn't help me, I was the first in the beer tent and probably the last one out (without said new girlfriend) we got there quite early and the weather was quite nice (I'm not 100% as I was in said beer tent for at least some of the day .....tee hee) I missed the first band of the day most of the gang had wandered off to see them but wandered back when the PA system broke down but allegedly the Tall Scottish vocalist had some good banter, maybe one to watch next time ...........bar man PINT!

I managed to see at least three songs by Lindisfarne before requiring to lie and blink for several (minutes) seconds, I woke up as they said their goodbyes, so I wandered back to the beer tent and fell out with said new/ex girlfriend because I kept buying her pints well I didn't require the exercise that buying half's would have given me, we had some great banter and generally had a smashing time (although I didn't realise that said new/ex girlfriend had already made her mind up that I wasn't the one, I don't know I'm like fungus I have a tendency to grow on you....I hope) Jethro Tull were great and I remember sleeping in a friends car going home as everybody else went off to see the last day of the Reading festival, me I wanted the pub......go figure!

Fast forward a few months and I was being a much better behaved boy with a new girlfriend and virtually the same group of friends who had arranged to go to Redcar to see the band that had been the opening act at Wakefield, now on the day I was being a misery, not because I wanted to but simply the issue I had was in it's earliest stage and when it gripped me there was very little I could do about it, we all met in the salutation in Durham and I remember sticking with the girlfriend and not drinking alcohol because I knew I would spiral out into a major freak out, something I didn't want to happen, thankfully my friends saw the signs and were damn good at keeping me occupied and in touch with some semblance of reality. The mini bus turned up and to be damn truthful I was tempted to bugger off into Durham and just get Hammered I wasn't wanting to go and see some Prog rock band.

The journey didn't take as long as feared but there had been an accident so we were late to the venue, we hadn't intended to see the support (so we weren't disappointed) band but we walked in and the headline band were in full stride and in that second the night was transformed the band held my attention from the word get go, and the vocalist although not the best singer in the world, had me hooked I loved the music (more like Yes than Genesis) this was my initiation into the world of FISH.
gig over I sat at the back of the mini bus and although I think some of my friends seemed worried for me they needn't have been as I was totally blown away, I now just had to see what I could do to see them again.

1983

I had a few months to wait but I had gotten some advance (hey I worked with people in music companies you are darn right I was going abuse those relationships) notice of the tour for the debut album by Marillion and I intended to see as many shows as I possibly could, I still had to work around my work schedule but I was devious to a fault  and managed to get a couple of dates before a long weekend of work in Manchester (Bradford and the Newcastle Mayfair where I lost yet another girlfriend as she thought I was in love with someone else, I was a bloody big Scotsman about three rows in front of me or rather his lyrics). a couple of days at work then on to (Nottingham and then Birmingham) then another long weekend of work then a run of eight gigs in something like fourteen days, weaving writing gigs in between at Sheffield I lost some money and really struggled to do the Liverpool and Manchester dates although money was always going to be tight I had no intention of not doing the gigs and I also think I was a strange fan as I have never really wished to meet the people who I like (musically) over the years I have many times but in truth they are just people. so I never used to hang around unless I knew the crew or even the band itself I was usually (hic) in the pub trying to be mysterious reading Kerouac!

Then there was the withdrawal symptoms, no new gigs (for Marillion) until the Reading festival I didn't want to go but hey why, not again the usual crew without girlfriends as we were only doing the Saturday night and we got there just as Mama's boys "put the needle in the groove" we enjoyed Magnum and went a bit daft for Anvil (still a fan these days) down the front and then went in search of drink, I was sorry for missing Suzi Quatro but not Stevie Ray Vaughn does that make me any less a music fan, and we were in place for Marillion as they came on stage, what was so funny they went down so well Black Sabbath (or was it deep Sabbath or black purple that year) staged a fire on the stage they were meant to be playing as headliners that night and nobody gave a shit. Once the set was completed we buggered off home and I joked that Sabbath would encore with smoke on the water (and they did ..........ooops).

Then the long wait until the Christmas gigs and my very first year away from my family starting at Nottingham (rock city and the last time in this venue for more than twenty something years.....it didn't change) down to the Hammersmith Odeon for the first time of me seeing them on what was always a great gig, then off to Aylesbury to what was meant to their spiritual home but to me the gig was flat too many chatting while they were on stage, I suppose you had to be  in the clique! we headed back to the bright lights of Birmingham as soon as the encore was completed, we rested up in a pub (what a surprise) and had a great day chatting to some of the crew (again a blog for another day when you consider one of them married my first wife) a great gig and then possibly the best show up until that point a new years eve gig at the Edinburgh playhouse and yes I was sober...........go figure!

1984

During the day in Birmingham I discovered that the new album (to be called Fugazi) was being released in February, so lots of dancing with the devil saving money and generally doing anything I could to try and get some free tickets ( I only paid for the Newcastle gig ....WTF)  I intended to do ten gigs and then the London gigs however well laid plans and the such like I did  the Leeds and Lancaster gigs only to eat something dodgy in Liverpool I struggled through the Manchester and Glasgow gigs before totally missing the Edinburgh gig with the hotel calling a doctor for me and for him to confirm I had food poisoning, thankfully a friend who lived in Edinburgh got me home so I could sleep in a familiar bed. On to Birmingham chilling at a friends flat still trying to recover I did the Leicester gig but I wasn't getting better I did the Sheffield gig and jumped on the last train back north heading to Gimpsville. I never did another show on the tour as it happens I was ill for about six weeks not a good time for me but one of the first times in nearly two years when I never had a drink, this was a turning point for me.

Musically at this point I was always walking around with a bag at this point with my Walkman and lots of tapes, the two Marillion albums done a number of times at this point I was playing these two albums on a daily basis as they spoke to me, personally they helped, certain songs for certain moods I hated London by this point and Fugazi (title track) was a regular different songs helped and they did. I had intended to go the Final Status Quo show at Milton Keynes but I had work and I couldn't get there I wasn't a happy bunny , but sometimes those are the breaks, I had to wait until the obligatory Christmas shows which did the trick, a couple of shows in early November in Liverpool and Poole and I didn't eat for forty eights hours on that trip as I didn't want to get poisoned again, then three shows at the Hammersmith Odeon finishing off at Manchester and Nottingham (this time the more posh theatre royal only spitting distance from rock City and it was funny I was scratching my head as I went off to Firefest in 2012 as I vaguely remembered the venues).

1985

Misplaced Childhood: I have done this tour to death previously and if you haven't read it maybe you should have bought the books, I never toured  to see shows like this again and it stayed with me, a very personal time and I came out of it a much better person for it, I still couldn't write as good as him.

1987

My life had moved on again covered in many blogs and books mentioned previously I was recently divorced and I suffered turning back to the bottle, simply because I was weak willed and because I could, music had disappeared from my lifestyle, I was still going to gigs and the such like but that part of my life was closed I had become a civilian and I knew it, I hadn't bought clutching at straws I didn't want to know, some friends helped (as always) took pity on me and I got an early present for Christmas when I was given the album on cassette, it happened again that spotlight moment, again the lyrics spoke to me about my life my journey and where I wasn't going to, the oblivion that I was facing and what I needed to do, that album was played to death over the next year virtually every single day, the next time  that would happen was with Fish's last album a feast of consequences, I got the bug (metaphorically speaking)I managed to blag some tickets for some gigs Two in Edinburgh where Fish looked tired and didn't seem to be with it even though the gigs were great (little did we know) then two nights at the NEC in Birmingham where the stage looked too big for the whole band but again there was something I couldn't quite put my finger on, I loved the shows but these were the first time ever seeing the band by myself and sober,.

1988

Newcastle city hall for one last time and it was a great gig but oh so bitter sweet the band as whole were on fire I had wanted to do more gigs  but my connections weren't what they had once been, and I needed my job in the real world, so with a heavy heart I knew I would see them on the next tour, I attended a wedding in London in the April and discovered and managed to get on the guest list to see them at the Marquee club something I had never done, I had seen the various members there ligging over the years I even saw Fish steal the Guinness pump from the bar on the infamous last night where I bet Dresden would have looked better after all the devastation of people stealing historically items, at least Fish (seemed) to have permission for the pump I wonder whatever happened to that pump? my intention was to go and see the band at Fife aid but issues with Travel to the gig was problematic so I bottled it, I wished I hadn't as I could have actually seen them do their last gig with Fish.

1989 and beyond.

Did I go and see the separate parties well yes I did I loved the seasons end album but when I went to see them at the city hall I realised it wasn't for me and we bid adieu in a live setting I left after four songs as soon as H started singing Fish material I got the hell out of dodge, maybe if they had treated it as a separate entity and maybe changed the name? I'm not sure, they have done some nice music but noting that touches close to the original four albums, hey that's my opinion what the fuck do I know, as for the big scots man I still follow him to this day and he was my first Tattoo (but that is another blog for yet another day) the crux of this blog though is I still play those first four albums and they still speak to me (not in a stalker kind of way) but they helped me through some crap times. I realise I still use music to help me though my moods I hoped this is what people who follow this blog wanted because keep your hands in boys and girls there's a few more.................incoming.......so watch the skies and until the next time Toodles!

Monday 5 January 2015

Set fire to the hive

What the hell  happened there? the new year sprinted ahead saying that it would wait for me and it didn't (the bastard) so many spinning plates I took my eye off the ball and well here I am, stuck in no mans land its not Christmas its not the new year either and I have two fairly good (historical) blogs  nearly done, but I missed the boat so I thought I had better do something quick and off the cuff to get this new year underway.

Christmas came and it was...........OK!  the dinner was fab (as always) just the right amount even the Kraken was on her best behaviour, I didn't have a repeat of last year and it pretty much went without a hitch OK so we squabbled we bickered but we didn't go off on one.

Then the wife became the lead zombie in the walking dead (she is still suffering) and boy has she suffered, mind you she did have her moments were we nearly came to blows (move along move along nothing to see here) as a rule it went OK , new year was again quiet with the wife really kicking off when everybody started slagging off yet another toy boy (again lets not go there) the evening was muted thinking of friends who have gone through so much in the last year lets just hope for continuing good news in the coming weeks and months.

My self will has been quite good over the last few weeks (well we all over indulge over the festive season) but I didn't, no big blow outs, just went with the flow with the new regime starting today (failed but only just....damn you Poundland) each day is step taken with positivity (here's hoping) I might stumble from time to time, lets see if I can get up under my own steam.

Misery has been kept at bay ( I have no idea how I did it but hell I will go with it) although solitude was never far away, as I have said previously one problem down, others slide into place to take their place in the new order, again all I can do is my best and hope that the world comes with me, I am a new person not quite as jaunty at times but not the miserable bastard that I had the potential to be, I have always been insular at times lets just see where the stream takes me, cunning plans and obvious inventions!

So where do I go on from here? well I still need that hobby I was told to get and my health issues are my number priority, lets not take that particular detour I'm trying to keep this light (hahahahaha me with my reputation) one blog a week is what the Dr ordered so that's where I intend to be even though I was late this with this one, go figure what are you going to do sue .......actually in this day and age more than likely!

Music as always has been to the fore front trying to get away from all the stuff I normally do, with some modern stuff including the band that sings the song that I have lifted the blog title from, yes Nils it's still the name game, keep up for the love of god! thankfully it has all been good even a trip down memory lane and playing the Stranglers Black & White album kept me in the groove, this blog was very nearly called a toiler in the sea!

Money as always is a huge factor in our cunning plans and furtive first steps that we call a social life in 2015, but worse things happen at sea, and I have a small cunning plan in place, baby steps ssshhhh its a secret! Photographs are another area I intend to move into as I see so many people having selfies and various other types (in a none sexual kind of thing)of photograph taken and being generally happy so I will have to learn to grin and bear it ........allegedly, again baby steps but you never know!

Work I have to admit is the fly in the ointment and for legal reasons I won't go into details on this very public forum, lets just take it for granted, if you know what I do for a (real) living starting a fire in the hive is the last thing I should do, if you know where the emergency exits are, please make your way there as I'm starting to stockpile dry fire wood, when it goes its going to burn with an intensity that will melt any lead hearts out there...........incoming!

The dam burst finally and I promise to do the next one justice, I have a choice either more war stories from following Marillion (title undecided but down to three at the moment) or one all about the dawn patrols trolling around London in the early eighties as I tried my hand in that hallowed and stable work environment called Rock N Roll!

Now that's the game plan you all know as much as I do onwards and hopefully upwards, again many  thanks for all of the kind words, they really have helped, and the numbers of the blogs has been........upwards, so we will have some more of that if you don't mind I need some rest and some beauty sleep (cough splutter - I really must get that cough sorted) so watch the skies you all know that there is incoming until the next time Toodles!