Thursday 31 May 2012

Shoot low aim high!

Oh dear I keep saying that I don't play the game but from time I do and when I do I don't play fair! but I believe that I have been just a tad naughty let me explain!

There has been much game playing of late and for reasons I won't go into here I elected not to play (or so everybody thought) and my intention is that the best man will always win, or so they would have you believe, a number of people had been so two faced they really didn't know whether they were coming or going! well I did because I'm really good at playing the game (I am, I just don't like to play) so I broke glass on pathways (back to talking in code again sorry) and made sure the people I wanted to go down certain routes went down the route I chose for them and not the one they wanted to, I then threw a number of curve balls which stopped everybody in their tracks because people think they know what I'm going to do next (hahaha you don't because I never do you fools!) and when the dust settled the people who had stabbed me in the back had no other option but to come and try and claim my seal of approval, that's when I set off every little trap that I had set they had walked in to the biggest cluster fuck they could ever imagine.

My company is big on internal promotion but if you refuse to play by their rules you don't really stand a cat in hells chance which when I went for the big job at work everybody panicked, you see I am the best person for running the job (that doesn't mean I'm the best man on site I just bring a particular set of skills to the table) I pulled out for the right reasons I knew that the well had been poisoned and that my family as always should come first (something I had neglected after my operation I was selfish and just wanted to go back to work) so I pulled back and watched everybody breath a sigh of relief, that just left the number two slot to be filled so again the broken glass directed people back to me and the people who applied (I didn't ) asked me for my opinion and to be honest if this is the best we can come up with then ladies and gentleman please do not remove your life jackets just yet!

I coached all of the candidates (some better than others) and loaded all of the park with booby traps, which is why before the interviews my new boss came and offered the job to me with out an interview now I could be really naughty and tell everybody that he had done that but then that wouldn't be cricket would it!, I politely refused giving constructive reasons as to why (rather than the flame thrower I wanted to use) which left him shell shocked as he thought I would jump at the chance, the problem and this sounds silly I have no desire to sit in front of a computer all day trying to manage systems that aren't compatible talk about juggling with hand grenades, could I do the job? hell yeah with some training as for this particular task I have no idea but I reckon give me two days and I would pass the rest of the field who have been doing the job for seven yes that's right seven years! damn one of them looked at me blankly as I said I had sent him the application form as an attachment, you can see where this is going can't you (iceberg dead ahead) I coached all of the candidates I filled in their application forms, so it really will be the best man on the day hahaha, I still expect for them to come back to me and I still intend to say no , why because when it all goes totally pear shaped I know I can step in and put my mark on it and hopefully steer the ship to still waters and save all that are still aboard the good ship Disaster! It was also funny that person who was taking notes said that the chairmen of the panel said it had my finger prints over all of the candidates..... that's because I did and yet I didn't apply he will now be thinking as to why I didn't, hahaha I believe in the long game, always have, always will!

Should I do this? why not I didn't start it but I certainly will have the last word, I will do whatever is required to make the job succeed however I have no intention of working damn hard and then have others snatch the glory and claim the prize this time it's my competition and my rules (as in there is none hahahaha) and I'm sure this will rumble on a while what will make it all that much harder I intend to have a very low profile and then I go on holiday for the coming week so that will cause some consternation as people will be expecting something that might or might not happen hahahaha I love being totally evil (watch this space).

The old man of the house is hanging on but its not great, is this the glow before the end I don't know he's not in any pain but it's distressing to all of us in the house, we are really just taking it one day at a time, SMOR rang unexpectedly last night was good it was great to hear from him even though the eldest spoilt the goodness later on.The new book I still hate but it's on it's way so I will let the wife decide whether it goes to the general public or not, I'm twisted on this one but I do believe even if I don't send it out it's something I had to do! the next book is complete even the previously unpublished bits and no none of it is from the out takes from "Piffle" the leftovers are definitely far too dark too be published in their current form, I need some sunshine in my life before I go back to that place and the way life is at the moment I'm not expecting the clouds too clear any time soon! so again that's it, last blog of the month and hopefully enjoyable even if it's been all in code enjoy the Jubilee week/end whatever you are doing until the next time Toodles!

 

Monday 28 May 2012

May the sunshine

Damn I hate this weather not the heat but I look more Chinese than Jacky Chan and without my glasses I'm as blind as Stevie Wonder damn when did I get this bloody old....answers on a postcard to FOAD.com!

The new book is finally complete and with a few distractions from the wife who hadn't spoke to me all day but when I was scratching my head trying to remember how to upload the book to the publishers she wants a complete philosophical discussion on the merits of the inside of a bloody ping pong ball (she does that also when its an early start and I have a late night go figure) the book I hate at the moment! but I had to let it go at some point and if I hadn't done it, I probably would have deleted the bloody thing so here we go for better or worse, although I have had some very kind words from Sweden and Germany saying that they like it, they like it a lot, you guys read the lot then decide in fact Jessie be the first person in Sweden to own one and buy it from blurb.com at the cost of manufacture and postage, I can but hope!

This new one is all singing all dancing brand new and I think that's why I have my knickers in a twist I have kept about fourteen chapters back for a similar exercise if this goes down well but please don't expect that before this time next year and the chapters were dark too dark to be released all in one day, so a polishing I will go in the hope to bring light to it, "Piffle" finished and "Toodles" should be complete by the end of this week with an end of June release date although that is subject to change, I think it depends on all the feedback for "Piffle" first read enjoy and tell me what you all think! I realise that I'm reaching not only saturation point (come on guys 6 books in 8 months) but I'm heading to burnout on the writing front so I do intend to take a step back after this one and give myself a good 5 months to complete number 7 which will come with the title "Buck Naked and the Nine Stone Cowboy" the cover has already been shot and it will be a lot "Happier" than "Piffle" , I think the main cause of me heading to burnout is that I'm hyper critical of what I have written and I tend to over polish things, most chapters in the book were written and then rewritten more than once, with also trying to do the blog I'm aware of the fact that I have no desire to repeat myself and please be aware that "Toodles" is another greatest hits package with Two chapters being Written especially for the book and they won't be available in the preview section hahahahaha!

The weekend has been a funny one and not ha-ha kind of funny we are of the impression that the old man of the house is on his way out I'm wary of having another situation that we had suffered last year with our little dog, this is going to be devastating and it will be the end of pets in our house completely I have no wish to see him suffer a loss of quality of life and in his "bad" moments its horrible, but then he brightens up and you really don't know what to do for the best, at the moment our schedule  is revolving around him so watch this space!

I'm now in the final run of a week of earlies and then a week off to recharge and do what ever the wife wants (within reason the spleen isn't ready to be harvested just yet) and I know I will have a few chores to do but hopefully fingers crossed a few field trips have been planned lets just see how they pan out! hopefully this blog is a tad happier than the last one I have noticed peeps tend to stay away when I go into rant mode so I might just save it for the books hahahaha, play nice enjoy the weather while we have it and get your fingers out and buy some books you tight wads have fun and until the next time Toodles!



Thursday 24 May 2012

Bad reputation

Some people never learn the lesson do they? sometimes I can be a major pain in the ass....with sprinkles on this week that's exactly what I have been.

This blog has been written a half a dozen times and then deleted, I'm just not feeling it and I seem to be cranky for the best part of the day (I don't do hot weather....well in this country anyway!) and well lets just say I am tonight grrr! why well actually for no particular reason the wife keeps asking me "if I'm in a bad mood?" only when people keep asking me dear!!!!!

Why do people insist on poking the bear, no idea! work has been a major pain in the ass with tons of games been played (which I positively refuse to join in) and its just annoying the crap out of me, lets be straight on this one boys and girls I only play games that I know that I can win so watch this space when I decide that I want to play! so that 's not helping! I'm in the process of proof reading the new book and I'm not feeling it either,it has put me in a complete tail spin I'm bored with it so if I'm bored with it what will others be thinking? I have no idea but at least this time I haven't deleted the bloody thing that's my usual trick so maybe I'm warming to it, we will have to wait and see I think I need another holiday because this is not me!

My week has been one of handling some very sensitive people (for sensitive please read thick) who have done wrong and then taken the huff (your a grown man for fecks sake) constructive criticism should help you and make you a better person, I then found somebody doing something that they shouldn't have been doing and when I mentioned it to them they stormed off in tears (again a grown man) when I caught up with this individual  I did go to town on him and gave him something to go "boo hoo" about! I was then asked by another manager if things were OK because I had been laying waste to the hinterland (OK he heard I was being a twat) I soon corrected him in as sensitive a method as I possibly could, lets just say we won't be going out for a pint any time soon and he won't be doing anything silly in my general direction for a while!

I do as a rule try to help and assist people, and will on a regular basis go the hell out of my way, but I think some people mistake kindness for weakness so I do believe its time for the gloves to come off and for me to earn the bad reputation that people seem to think that I have earned (well this week actually). I feel the need to shake off the bloody blues because it has affected my writing mojo big style and that is my major gripe this week! not good not good at all!

A week of screw ups with my banks hasn't helped the money grabbing bastards and with one bank trying to get paid three times for the last payment on something we bought has not helped me with my stress levels and I hate the dealing with faceless nuggets who although are English struggle with the basic premise of the normality of a sensible conversation, you can't even deal with any of it in a branch because they just herd you onto a fecking phone grrr!

Having said that the numbers for all the blogs have for some reason spiralled again thanks to the nice people of the good old US of A and at least all of the blogs have been read two or three times so we have obviously picked up a new reader along the way so that is a positive thing I have a day with the retards!(actually that's a insult to retards!) tomorrow and then a week of earlies and then a week off and although the wife is not well enough to drive we shall be getting together with friends and burning down a large portion of Newcastle even if I have to saw my foot off to pay for the fecking thing! this weekend shall be at some point a rip roaring drinking session that I have feeling will not be pretty if I maintain this state of mind (hahaha)  actually I'm more than happy with my lot, I'm just sick of dealing with the knuckle dragger's that populate the world!that's me done like it or lump it feck off and do something while it's sunny and I will be in a better frame of mind next time toodles!




Saturday 19 May 2012

Talking in code.

The whole world keeps on turning, no matter what we say or do and every now and again I would love to able to get off not all the time but just now and again, just hold my breath and jump!

Back to work and ha as always I didn't feel it, I could have done with a HUGE lottery win to divert me, and yes as always after a week off I go back to a huge amount of work because nobody covers me in any way shape or form (and it is starting to annoy just a tad!)and an even larger mount of politics, the people of ancient Rome wouldn't have a look in at my place of work, for once I just wanted to get on with it, but somebody is always pulling you into the mix, it was a drag and spoilt my week at work hopefully I can get motivated and go back at full roar for Monday we will  have to wait and see, but when I do god help any fecker who gets in my way ...the shit list is growing and honestly people you do not want to end up on my shit list!

The wife had her operation for her shoulder this week I'm sure its repetitive strain injury for all of the violence towards me (sob I just hide it well!) and the house has been kind of empty for a couple of days! weird living on my own (even for a few days) strange how being by myself turns me back into a neat freak, but the blinking on the couch wasn't helped by nobody being there to get my sorry arse off the couch and away up to bed, so a couple of semi sleepless nights, I did indeed make it off up to bed usually about three in the morning for a four thirty start ( not good boys and girls not good) I was glad to have her back in one piece, and I have promised to fuss over her all weekend.

 I have had an itch all week, musically that is I don't feel as though I got my Bucket Fix (after last weekend) so I will have to dig out my cassette (you read right pop pickers) my cassette and blast it in the office, I hope the Frog on the Tyne enjoy Spain but I also hope they are back sooner rather than later, I find it funny that music can indeed sooth the savage beast as when ever I have been writing over the last few weeks I have been blasting Charlotte's CD as it has definitely helped with my roadblock in the writing department, at last something that I can say I like about France (via South Shields of course) but the jolly little songs that she writes definitely help with the mood thankfully I don't have to watch the Video of a certain bass player in a wedding dress (WTF man hahaha) if you need to be scarred for life go to You Tube and put in Charlotte Yanni "on your big day" and you will get a flavour of just some of the insanity that goes on in our life if I was confident I wouldn't screw it up I would indeed post it in the blog!

I took the Friday off to go collect the wife but unfortunately  I was surplus to requirements because (surprise surprise the Kraken was able to do something without assistance go figure) but that soon subsided as I plonked the wife on the couch and let her watch her"Programmes" I can impersonate Florence Nightingale if required I just won't wear the damn dress or carry the lantern!

As always I have been tracking the numbers of not only the blog site but people who have been reading the books over at Blurb.com (shameful plug I know hahaha go figure) seem to be mainly Russian! well at least thirty five per cent of the readership, go buy one then you ruskie tight wads (oops that's what started the problems the last time I do apologise)  I love watching the trend patterns (does it sound like I know what I'm typing about ?) it usually is the same countries and you have to wonder what the hell these guys think of my little rants, as I usually am writing in code so not to offend the freaks that populate the north east of England , numbers are on the increase (thanks to everybody who is helping spread the disease) but I'm not sure how or why! the previous blog sites were followed and most people were quite vocal on how they thought I was rambling from time to time, so I could get a grip on the national identity of my followers but this time around not so much and that makes me wonder! do they think I'm some criminal mastermind talking about taking over the world? the Buckets might but not this little white boy from Gimpsville UK!

I better bugger off in the background I can hear issues from the work place (no rest for the wicked and damn I must have been wicked) and I need to get to grips with it again if anybody has a few million that you don't want send it my way as I really would like to retire some where sunny and just write, so until next time peeps same channel god knows what day Toodles!

Monday 14 May 2012

The Buckets made me do it!

OK so I kept my promise and kept a low profile (from blogging that is) and had a holiday that was neither fab or crap it was just well erm...OK, but it was nine days off and to be honest I really didn't want to go back this morning but I'm a big boy so I only kicked and screamed the first five mile!
Yesterday was to be a day of cunning plans most of which were to be missed completely, but the old man of the house had me up as usual early (6.30ish) and I sat and twiddled my thumbs mainly because I was puggled and needed a lie in what a surprise on holiday yet again and I didn't get one!

The wife appeared from out of nowhere like a bloody ninja (again) and she was up early for her, and we both chilled and pottered then the Grand Prix started and we had it on in the background while we sort of pottered, some more it really was like being in slow motion but we were both ready in time and off we set to South Shields to have some dinner  and to see the Buckets play their last gig of the "season". I have promised to do some music for the next Jubilee reunion and was using the journey down to trial it with the wife and if I say so myself I was really only happy with about half of it so there will be some polishing done before we get to the big night it should be (ahem) fine! move along nothing to see there no car crash or anything hahaha honest it will be peachy.

We got there in time for G to be once again abused (a repeat of last Sunday well not quite) but he had to be marshalled to sort his racing snake of a body into something that hid the fact that he is "Elvis" we were soon shocked at the sight of our wives licking their respective mobiles as they are now in love/lust (part 32422) with Olli or at least that's what they say his name is yet another boy toy(for those that are interested its Olli Herman Kosunen and he was born in 1983 you cradle snatching harpies)I think I need to take an interest in nubile ladies of some description, we managed to get their interest back onto food and we headed off to the Mile for a hot Sunday dinner (and it was bloody lovely) we got there towards the end of service but there was still plenty of grub and yes indeed it was HOT (please take note Marsden Inn) the only real mishap was that G was given a bit of wire as a supplement, but as usual he couldn't stop fiddling with it so it was lost to the mists of time and that million dollar law suit will come to nothing because of it!

Actually I lied I though the wife was going to go on a killing spree when her pudding was delivered with ice cream when ours actually came with custard (that's what you asked for you mad mare)  but crisis averted it was four very full and uncomfortable people who climbed into the Clampetts Mobile and some of us were gentlemen while others burped and farted all the way to the riverside! we arrived and discovered some people who we hadn't expected to be there (and that was a hoot) and we settled to watch a Norman Collier version of the last Newcastle game of the season (the picture stuttered frequently for those of you not there) a crap result for us but a great one in the eye for the red side of Manchester so that was a result!

The Frog on the Tyne was the support for the day and with the assistance of some Frog lights Charlotte's mike stand definitely looked the part, and then the day took off and if I'm honest I had suffered standing through the match (nothing that drink couldn't sort out) so I gravitated to a seat in the back and enjoyed both of Charlotte's sets and thankfully Mr Charlton did not end up in a wedding dress! the pub got a little bit more full at the seams, and we waited and waited for the Buckets. And then they were there on the stage having a blast, happily ignoring G as he kept pestering them for Mud's Tiger Feet but we did get as always get an odd assortment (class as for as I'm concerned) of tracks we even had a reading of John Cooper Clarke but I would be F*****g spoiling it by F*****g telling you who it F*****g was who did the oration! There were more dodgy lunatics that you could shake a stick at and some even dodgier coins that were not of any realm, as the gig progressed I wasn't as happy as I thought I would be (and I do apologise if I spoilt anybody's evening) but I was well aware of the impending doom (OK I was being melodramatic millions of people go back to work after a holiday and not winning the lottery) of a 4.30 wake up call and I really did not fancy it in any way shape or form.

We said our goodbyes later than I thought we would (which was good) but I was quiet on the way home and I think the wife thought there was more going on than there actually was, I was sober (damn and blast) and in pain with my knees which are getting better but today was a long day for me. we got home in a decent enough time (it always seems to take less time to get there) I watched a few of the games on Match Of The Day but I soon hit the hay for my long lie in (NOT) and I awoke before my bloody alarms went off and was soon sat like a sad person waiting for my lift who soon had my head done in and I was wishing for a blunt implement to beat him to death, I really didn't want to go but I cried havoc let loose the dogs of war once more unto the breach I ventured and it wasn't as bad as it could have been but we got there in the end . all in all a great way to end the weekend The Buckets give me a smile as big as a smiley thing.

The new book Is close to being finished I have two more chapters left to write (Technology and Religion) and then to polish it a couple of times and whittle it down from 32 chapters to about 22 although the worst won't be discarded they will be reworked and polished for later books (hopefully) I am on schedule for an end of May publication and the usual suspects will as always get their copies, I'm not sure what I think about it at the moment but it has gone smoother than anticipated well you can decide when and if it actually gets published on time! that's that then I hope you enjoyed the first one in what seems like a bloody life time and thankfully The Buckets made me do it until the next time Toodles!

Monday 7 May 2012

Hide in your shell

The weekend arrived with next to no fanfare I knew I had to get up out of bed to go and wait for the new laptop coming, and I did so with next to no willing, I could have stayed in bed, but I didn't I trudged downstairs and sat typing the previous blog so that something could be posted. It finally arrived around about eleven thirty and it was soon set up by the I T Department (yes the wife) just in case I made a pigs ear of it.

The old man of the house was transported to the Kraken's as we intended to make a weekend of it but first we had a few little tasks to do, which we pottered on and we were even ready with tons of time to spare I know with our reputation! ( I have found out this week that it's not just the wife who runs on a different meridian time line) because we were ready we headed out and had a slow walk to the pub (how often does that happen boys and girls) and we ambled and chatted, just general chit chat but it was nice it's something we very rarely get a chance to do so we soaked in the sun (yes that thing in the sky that at times can make you warm) as we headed to The Grey Horse, we grabbed a table and a drink (which was gorgeous but a tad expensive) and we sat and waited, again we chatted amongst ourselves until the others turned up and a pleasant afternoon was had by all except for one ignorant person who shall remain nameless(purely because you guys don't know him) he could barely bring himself to say goodbye, some people are just strange!

By this time we had the munchies so as we wandered back we decided to get a pizza from the closest pizza place to home but upon getting there we discovered it had been turned into a Japanese Takeaway (not sure what the difference is but the good lady wife wanted pizza so that is what she was going to get) so we about turned and headed back into the centre of town ordered one and headed home, now to be honest the rest of the weekend for food was a bloody disaster so don't say I didn't warn you OK, I enjoyed the pizza but it was just OK the wife disagreed because she threw hers back up at two thirty in the morning (bless her) again I was up with the larks and as I padded about the house doing this and that yet again I had the munchies but couldn't eat anything because once more I had massive tonsils I also really couldn't be arsed so I left it alone and mooched, when I decided to actually have something I discovered in the fridge a ready meal liver and onions so that was the weirdest breakfast of the day but it was indeed lovely! I do like a bit of liver. I had managed to get a copy of the Avengers (ahem) so we lay and vegged out watching that and at the end I called for THE TEE HEE CLUB to ASSEMBLE calling those super heroes from all corners of the known universe to meet at a local destination (OK so it was funny when I put it as a farcebook post now it just seems silly ...tee hee!).

Again we headed off to the centre of the universe for much humour and frivolity and the wife didn't shout at many cars as she overtook them, we got to G and E's to head off out for lunch and we had not seen our partners in crime in what seemed like ages but the abuse was being hurled down  the stairs at G as if we were indeed still in Vegas, we gathered our team and headed off to an unknown destination (well I promised I wouldn't name and shame the pub but it's in Marsden and instead of a pub its got Inn in its title...ooops) the pub is lovely and has a great reputation, which on this occasion it didn't live up to, we soon ended up at the bar and we met new people, but it soon became evident that the food was not going to pass muster six out of twelve peoples dinners went back because they were cold, mine was warm so therefore edible but it wasn't very good and the portions well I put more out for my grandson, we soon became very vocal and although the staff did their best the chef cowered in the kitchen, come on its not rocket science it's Sunday people are coming out for diner I know it was the end of service but that was pretty crap! P was soon planning a Blitzkrieg on the manager ( I know a crap pun but hey ho I'm going with the flow of the day) I don't believe anybody was put in a headlock but the meals for what they were we got for free, we weren't unhappy with the pub so we stayed and had a few more beers before heading out into the madding crowd.

Some of the party headed home and we headed to our next destination and I have to admit I could have just sat on the grass and enjoyed the sun (OK so I would have needed a coat on) I discovered yet another house I liked the look of but even selling my brain (the only organ the wife hasn't tried to sell) I don't think its even on our radar never mind our price range, the next pub was full of bank holiday joy (people full of drink) and a great deal of flatulence most of which I got blamed for, but for once was not guilty of it was quite interesting to see all the ladies of the party blaming their other half's I believe it to have from floated over from a group of "ladies" sat behind us but unless I actually asked them I don't think we would have got to the bottom of it, G provided me with the cover of the book after "Piffle" as always he is a most obliging person who fills me with inspiration for the day ahead hahahaha!

We actually only stayed for one drink at this pub (sorry I wasn't interested in pubs names by this point) and although the beer was canny, the wait to get served wasn't so we headed for the local and everybody was soon crowded around tables (now at this point my stomach thought my throat had been cut I was so hungry) and although I would have preferred to have stayed longer we headed out into the early evening to drop off the last two books at SMOR's flat and go pick the old man of the house up, after we endured the Kraken doing her usual moans and groans I thought we should grab a quick bite to eat and headed into our local KFC which to be blunt was shite the wrong order and basically tasteless obviously the last order of the night and out the door before we realise that it was indeed the wrong items I wasn't happy and to be blunt it spoilt my weekend (for food anyway) I intended to blog straight away while the days events were still fresh but I decided to sit next to the wife (who I'm sure is drugging me because whenever I sit next to her I fall asleep) who sent me upstairs at some point.

Now to be honest I had a good weekend but the expectation was way to high, but I didn't have a great weekend, why? well again if I'm being honest yet another early morning rise on a day off and yet again we are baby sitting, I would much rather be going to see the Frog on the Tyne and then finish off with a bit of Bucketmania!  it was great to see everybody who we hadn't seen in ages but it feels like there's unfinished business going on out there and sod it I'm as jealous as hell! The rest of the week although I am off I will be assisting the wife and as always I have a ton of little bits and pieces to do, so don't expect war and peace any time soon I really do need to do a couple of more chapters for the new book then I need to polish and polish and polish again I really must get it finished I really have worked hard on"piffle" and although I think it's a little more "serious" or "dark" delete as appropriate, I think it's something that I want to get there for a number of reasons which when you read the book you hopefully might get a better grip of a lunatic who calls his blog page "walks with broken hoop" I also think the reason I will be keeping my head down blog wise is my happy button has become unstuck and I had a moment yesterday that was actually worrying, but the wife spotted it and diverted my attention (cliché) but it hung around like fog shrouding my mood in things that didn't need to rear it's ugly fecking head. Its amazing how something thirty years ago can rear its head and have such a crap effect on my outlook on life in general!

I haven't decided whether the incident will appear in the book its the chapter that has caused  me some consternation as I try and exorcise the single most point in my life that I wish I could obliterate and  its the point where I became the manic depressive (which I know I can be from time to time , go on ask the wife she can be a saint at times!) that has caused me problems throughout my life ever since, I hope in some ways though that it has helped me to become a better person (how I'm not sure but if I didn't think that then a black cloud would descend that even the wife couldn't chase away) I have wrote the chapter at least eight times only to discard because I don't like what I have written! so that's the plan of attack I hope you all have/had a great weekend/week, have fun I wish I could be there to see the state that everybody will be at Bucketmania but I'm sure we can try and enjoy next weekend before the depart to Spain and various other locations, so until the next time play nice and Toodles! and oh yes before anybody bitches yes the blog title is a Supertramp song if you have a problem with I will see you outside in the playground after school get a life sheesh!







Saturday 5 May 2012

Ooops I Did It again(Hand Grenade Parts 2-745)

OK so I have been keeping notes since the last one, the week has been a blur of activity and I'm getting on a bit, I wanted to keep a thread running between the previous blogs so I kept notes, go sue me (actually don't I have no organs left to sell).

Yet another late night thanks to the baby crying, not his fault he has a few issues (don't we all darling) and hopefully when he's with us we are helping the problem, but it's not helping me in anyway shape or form in the sleep department, I finally got to bed (around about 12ish) and slept badly I got up in a funk (more groggy actually)and when I went into the bathroom(don't worry we won't get too graphic) I threw my phone onto the towel which was hanging over the towel rail and radiator only to watch it (in slow motion) glide over the top and down the back of the radiator (bugger) I then spent a frantic twenty minutes trying to get it out, which I did but I could have done without that at silly o'clock in the morning, it got worse as I tend to operate in the dark so as not to wake anybody up, I turned the bathroom light out and then forgot where the hell I was, yes I knew I was at the top of the stairs but I was too far out and not within (easy) reach of the handrail, I nearly slipped Closeau like down the bloody things I really do need to hone my ninja skills a little better.

As I sat and munched on my toast I checked farcebook see if anybody had missed me (what a surprise nobody had) one feed that brightened my day Mrs Loud who was excited to be playing Heaton Buffs like it was Madison Square Gardens (if you don't know who she is shame on you, she sang on a Meatloaf album and is a great singer with a great album out there, but because of X Factor shite is relegated to playing clubs if you get the chance to go see her  I thoroughly recommend it ) I love people who enjoy life as much as she does and more power to her elbow for it! My lift turned up and the day was soon lost in a frantic burst of activity which could have been so much worse if I had stayed, but I did my contractual hours and buggered off home (in some ways I wish I had stayed at work) it had been a great day lots of ducking and diving just the way I like it.

I arrived home to see the wife down in the dumps and shaking her head at me as I came through the front door I could hear the Kraken in full flow against the world and its pet hedgehog, on top of that the baby was also in full on mode, the night did not appear to be promising, now its at that point in time that I could quite willingly go atomic but the wife won't let me (and what the wife wants she usually gets!) the flow went back and forth with the Kraken rocking like a lunatic riding a bomb in an out take from Dr Strangelove! I have to admit it's very annoying and every time it happens I bite just a little bit more of my tongue off, lord help us if me and the wife are in a bad place and I do indeed decide to kick off (actually it's all I want for Christmas ....please!) the main crux of the argument (after I got her to take a bloody breath) was that the wife seemed like she was intending to look after the child after her shoulder operation (erm f**k no!) and thankfully some semblance of order was achieved after the Kraken returned to her sea cave to feed on fish or whatever a Kraken feeds on (Grrr!).

I tried (as always but usually not successful) to keep the wife happy and at some point Junior fell asleep in his little play pen, the wife was heading out to pick the youngest up and left me in charge hahaha (with my reputation) yes you guessed there was indeed trouble ahead, I put my phone on silent so not to wake Junior up in the event somebody other than the wife would ring me (yeah right) and yes you all guessed right I did what I normally do I blinked and yet again I awoke to find a menacing figure stood over me calling me a Muppet (I do deserve that one) I did try to get myself back in the good books but in the end I had to admit defeat and head off to the land of nod.

I awoke feeling a bit better and thankfully had no mishaps this time, My head was buzzing just a little and I waited dreading my lift being in full on spazz mode but for once my lift was less than chirpy and we settled into our jaunt into work, And it was as always yet another busy day with the Fire Brigade and not a lot else to tell you about (I keep claiming legal reasons, but in reality apart from that its also because so much goes on I struggle to remember) apart from the news that the guy who was the lone candidate for the job I was intending to go for got the job and his first task in the next twenty four hours was going to be my work appraisal!  oh this was going to be fun., I got home to find the youngest there and we chilled and watched some TV (which as always I love doing as she is so much fun to be with) the wife arrived home with the Kraken who thankfully after a raging phone call earlier had calmed down to a dull roar, as soon as she buggered off I sat with the wife trying to order my new piece of technology which as always didn't go smoothly but the wife ignored me and got on with it and she was successful (which is why when I'm sat this Saturday morning typing this epic my old lap top is in the huff and on a go slow) my stomach was off but I was a nice guy and we ordered Chinese food for everybody (I only pinched a little bit) I soon admitted defeat and headed for bed because tomorrow was going to be super busy and I needed my wits about me! 

The day started in a blur and kept a steady pace for the rest of the day, I could see my new Manager looking just a tad apprehensive (I have no idea why hahahaha) and thankfully he bit the bullet and got on with it (my record for my appraisal is just over 90 minutes) today was actually going to knock that clean out of the ring we started at ten in the morning and I finished with just one minute to spare for me to get my lift in time (yes boys and girls a grand total four and a half hours) hey you want the job you have to do the job hahaha his first question really set the tone "where do you wish to be in twelve months time?" to which I replied "In your job!" I was brought up to be honest, well his face was a picture, from there it was a couple of hours of him trying to say that yes he knew I'm good at my job, but he couldn't score me as high as he would like, well I brought my A game into play and shot him down at every turn with strategy plans and letters of recommendation from the previous managers and tenants,I will give his credit he did some fancy footwork but he was in the heavyweight division (hey I know I'm a fat twat) and it was me landing all the heavy blows he had no option but to give me what I wanted (score wise) now I know the area manager will try and fiddle with it but I'm ready for him as well, all I can say is bring it on! Now to make you think it was a one way contest would be unfair there were some points I was prepared to concede and also I wanted him to know that I am a team player and that I would take up any of the slack that he felt that he needed to throw my way, I was more than prepared to help out (how else am I going to prepare the ground work for taking over his position).

I jumped in the car to head home and start my nine days holiday (its not all good I will see the Kraken on at least eight of them) only for the traffic to bring us to a grinding halt and for us to be diverted because of a huge burst water main, and if I'm honest the night was a tad odd I was in full on blink mode, but the wife was struggling with her technology and it was me trying to stop her doing a Basil Fawlty (sometimes we do make a really good couple hahaha) and we finally (fingers crossed) resolved the issue and then I sank into oblivion only to be woke up at two in the morning and being told go to bed! now this was not perfect as I had to be up at six  to sit and wait for my new laptop to be delivered (a 7 until 6 delivery window and the Argos tracker system being down Grrr you know for a fact its going to turn up at around five to six tonight double Grrr!) but hopefully in the long run it will be worth it, the weekend is ahead of us and with some cunning plans to come to fruition it should be a great one (I must apologise in advance because I have to inform you all that I do intend to have a drink or two.....tee hee!) and that's it the trilogy for the week complete, numbers as always are increasing and some nice compliments being added so again thanks, and before anybody whines yes I do intend to spend the week polishing "piffle" I think I need about another four chapters if truth be told so that I indeed will be ready to go back to the publishers at the end of the month.

Before I sign off I struggled with a title for the last one and it wasn't until I was playing some music (the score for The girl with the dragon tattoo) that it jumped out at me and went boo! it was then I made a mistake and got all cocky, well yes thanks to the wonders of Google about twenty of you beat me to death (E was first though) with the answer (I was surprised Mr Robinson never surfaced, mind you he would have got it totally correct!) well sorry boys and girls you only got half of it right yes it was indeed Trent Reznor, but it was a (and here's the bit I really wanted to know) co -credit with Atticus Ross so there hahaha go do the job properly or don't do it at all, for those that got it half right I will concede defeat and grow a beard hahahaha on that bombshell I'm out of here to go sit on my front door step like a kid waiting for Santa to turn up on Christmas morning so until the next time Toodles!









  

Tuesday 1 May 2012

Intriguing Possibilities

So I blogged and felt so much better for it, it did indeed lift my spirits so that's a good thing I hope! this can only mean one thing (when I find out what that thing is I will tell the world hahaha!)

I knew I had work in the morning and I didn't get the long night's sleep that I was hoping for, but it did the trick and I wasn't troubled with bad dreams(as can be the case) and I awoke feeling quite refreshed, I may have been up with the (pil)larks, but I did feel an upward surge (oooer Mrs) I was up and about and (oooh song title alert) feeling  good, so good in fact that I went out for my lift that little bit sooner and enjoyed the damp morning, watching others heading to or from work it is indeed my favourite part of the day. It was cold but I didn't mind especially when I was in this frame of mind, it doesn't happen very often so as always I went along with the flow. I had numerous spinning plates that needed keeping an eye on, so the day was going to be very busy.

My knees had been good (well better is a better description) and I am enjoying longer periods of pain free walking (I'm still crippled if I stand for long periods of time and by long I mean more than five minutes at a time) than I have in a long time, they are not perfect, but getting better all the time you never know I might even do the great north run in 2134 (hahahaha) I do still hobble but I like to think that I hobble with character. Teaching season is over at work (for now) and the new tasks that have been added to my job description did begin to overwhelm me just a tad but I took a deep breath and came up with a willingness to work which surprised even me! I kept the plates spinning and endured two rants that although weren't directed at me I was the first person in the firing line, when they vented their spleen I asked them if that was the best that they had which got a laugh and broke the tense atmosphere, as it happens I totally sympathise with their situation and hopefully offered a different perspective on the issue and also some larger calibre ammunition to fire when the right person does actually hone into view (hahaha) I told you I'm not bad just a little naughty.

Today was more of the same but with a hint of fun (and chaos) and the day sped away, these short days are fab and I only felt the urge to tell my lift to F O A D  twice which for me is good, he's been very helpful but he does have a tendency to butt in when he's not needed (he's a well meaning soul with size 14 boots....hob nailed ones at that!) I'm sure he will get the drift (eventually) tomorrow is a long day with a lot of walking involved but it has to be done so I will just have to suck it up, today I was so industrious on my computer people thought I wasn't well! with most of my computer based stuff done, it's amazing what two hours in an office with nobody there will do for your concentration, I'm still about 90% slower than the office junior but what the hell I struggle with pen and paper never mind computers! the rest of the day was spent going through paperwork in our complaints department (yes we do have one) listening to the crap that people spew which I won't bore you with other than to say that the winner of nutter of the day award goes to the person who wrote in complaining about the size of the lifts!  FECK OFF !

I got home while it was still daylight and happily endured my youngest daughter and wife and their tales of woe and frivolity even the grandson was happy to see me (mind you he could have been filling his nappy not quite sure on that one) we idled the night away with humour and the wife sinking (she does too much and won't take a telling) and I endured threats of violence when a certain person found out I was more than willing to be at their house on Sunday at 6.30 in the morning for my G fix hahahaha (actually reading that back it does sound so wrong hahahaha) but cunning plans abound for the coming weekend with lots of people in the mix i have the feeling that this indeed could be a bloody good weekend and you know what that means (blogs galore!), numbers are increasing so thanks to all that are indeed spreading the disease, a good mood helps everybody even my little doodles have been helping people as far away as Asia and lots of people from America, oh dear just don't mention the "R" word.

Being home on time and not blinking on the settee all night long music has crept back into the mix with even more cunning plans being sorted as we speak as I could potentially be charged with dereliction of duty for the Jubilee re union I have been tinkering but I have not gone into full meltdown mode (just yet) finding some rocktastic tunes for the night (much researching still  to do) and as I sit here I'm listening to the new It Bites CD which is possibly the best CD Marillion album that they never made (sorry Mr G it's true a cracking album but they should be sued by Marillion circa 1989) and I have a list of CD's to follow including in no particular order the new Godz CD, Counting Crows, Cold Chisel (which is cracking) a Triumph live Bootleg from 1983/4 and a wonderfully monnickered band called St Prostitute! Don't worry Nicola the music will be fabtastic and not progtastic that I keep threatening you with!

And that another one done a one that when I started typing didn't have a name to go with it (I nearly always start with a title so this one just felt weird in a nice kind of way) so if the title is a tad weird (when I finally work one out) don't worry normal service will resume as soon as possible! play nice have fun enjoy life and until the next one Toodles!

Finally decided on a blog title and yes its a song title if anybody gets this one I will grow a full head of hair!