Sunday 26 February 2012

Good life.....Surfs up!

It's so good not to have to blog about work this shall be so much fun so strap yourself in and hang on for your life this is the good life!....(I bet I forget loads)

Yet again I was up early (work on my mind) but I didn't mind we had had a quiet night in (apart from the wife telling me off for allegedly falling asleep) and headed to the land of nod reasonably  early (by the wife's standards) but again I was wide awake soon enough, knowing I had brought work home and had to get to grips with it sooner rather than later, nothing too complicated just time consuming (isn't everything) so just after 7 this morning the lap top was fired up and I cracked on (and yes time flies when your having fun.... allegedly) just after 10.00 the mobile crackled into life (Broadsword calling Danny boy) calling the Tee Hee Club into action, I swung into action straight away although the wife was sort of awake a cunning plan was hatched, I was soon talking to people coming up with an action plan so that peeps could get their copies of the new book and we went forward like a well oiled machine we were out of the house on time and heading to sunny South Shields like a cruise missile in down town Baghdad. Half way there the wife realised that she hadn't taken her medication (how can you forget when you need to take it everyday)  but we structured our routine around what was about to happen and fingers crossed we hoped we would get through!

We arrived at mission control and dispensed books and presents (trust me, that's it no more potato related items.....honest.....maybe's) G was as always the perfect host and only suffered a small amount of abuse (water related) and we nattered and smiled at the birthday cake for the birthday boy (a VW Beetle if your at all interested) Cookie was nervous , probably thought we were staying for the night (bless) and we marshalled our forces and stepped into the time machine to get to the Wouldhave on time! on the way we made a small detour so the lady of the group could go to the bank and while she popped around the corner we turned the car around so that she could gain entry with a deal of ease but we were all mystified as to why she came back and went to climb all over G (we reckon its a love thang!) cue much embarrassment that her secret was out (ah young love) we promised not to tell (too many) people hahaha.
We entered our preferred drinking establishment and saw that an area had been put aside for us (ooh goody) balloons and the such like and lots of peeps who I knew by sight (but I am so shit with names) and many hello's were said with much hand shaking and kissing (still haven't got used to this bit) and we settled down for the birthday boy to turn up and act surprised! more peeps turned up as did the birthday boy who feigned surprise and headed in the other direction of the bar but he was soon sheparded back our way and much frivolity ensued too much to name and shame (OK so my memory is shit) lots of peeps being friendly Tourette's doing what he does best but there was no bodily harm although i could have killed G when he turned up with a sneaky fellow to be drunk, bladder control wasn't operating to maximum and this just sent it into overdrive, a short but sweet drinking session with lots of (nice) people and much happiness is great for recharging the batteries!

We came home to a dancing pooch (he couldn't keep his legs crossed much longer) and a sickly youngest to pick up, I thought I would do a quick blog because certain people were panicking that I would tell the world about all the little things that happened today (sorry I was having too much fun) and that really is it for now it's time for me to get my head down and arse into gear mode. You might just possibly get a blog next weekend (but there are no promises) and as I  sit here typing this up listening (and occasionally glancing up to Top Of The Pops 1977 ah the good old days) hoping that all the cunning plans that were set in motion will come to fruition so until the next time play nice and think of the poor soles still out there having a great time for Mr C's birthday eve party until the next time...Toodles!

Saturday 25 February 2012

One big lie

Life is just one big lie after another, after the week at work I have had lies just flow from peoples tongues with such ease it's unbelievable! I mean all the crap I write here is one big lie(ahem not) everything at work (of course it will be done by then) and the such like is all bullshit, we all expect people to lie no your not fat (your fecking massive) we as people are all in denial I really don't see the point, tell the truth you will feel so much better for it, it's not about hurting people's feelings if you tell the truth most of the time people should expect it and there for not have their feelings bruised like a peach.

As always for legal reasons I'm not allowed to name names (apart from with professional bodies who intend to mount the charges with which prosecute professional liars) also there has been a conclusion to a previous blog (the milk of human kindness) all based on somebody lying four of my inspections turned up worrying results and it was proven that people were lying and we couldn't determine what was fact or fiction, this was put to the people involved and they couldn't/wouldn't  back out of their original lie and after given ample opportunity to do so the relevant people were informed (the potential for me to be prosecuted because I'm aware of such a thing doesn't scare me, what scares me is these people don't give a damn about anything not even the consequences even when they have been explained too them!) I have to admit the outcome has not been unexpected, when the people further up the food chain found out that they would be held responsible they went into self preservation mode so four people were suspended and it looks as the relevant professional bodies have been informed (by their own people) and at least 3 prosecutions are in the pipeline ( I did try to tell them so tough poop) and my Favourite bus driver lied about forgetting to come and pick us people up at silly O'clock and he forgot that there are camera's on buses that are time stamped if he had said "yes I made a mistake " he was simply going to get a slap on the wrist but because he lied (there is the potential for the idiot to lose his bloody job)everything else is called into dispute (how many other times has he done the same thing and nobody has complained) trust is rarely restored once you have been found to be a liar.....and yet we all do it mainly white lies but we do indeed do it a sad state of affairs! Would I want to see somebody lose their job of course not but people bring it on themselves by telling what starts out to be a little white lie and watching it spiral way out of control!

The reason for the melancholia I believe to done to the fact that I'm tired and sore (but happy) at my workload the light is hurtling towards me at a rapid rate (step away from the light) and I might not blog again (yeah right) before the mother of all road trips the next 5 (work)days brings 25 inspections and all that entails including two training sessions (that I have yet to write and rehearse) and then the last two days before our road trip includes something I have never attempted before (12 inspections in one day) and the mother of all audits the following day! do I think I will be running on pure adrenaline by then (Hell Yeah) but I know it will be worth it come April so I'm quite prepared to go with the flow and with the support (and not the regular abuse hahaha) of the wife I'm sure I will get there in the end.

The disease that I have contracted called Tattooitis has reared its head one more time and any spare time I have is spent pouring over ideas for more art to add to my collection, I'm not sure yet but we shall see watch this space you never know what might appear, I have been trying to get my head into my library  selections but i might as well just shoot myself in the head because I'm basically just numb (and tired) when I get home but i shall keep on trying, Musically (because allegedly some of my old readers have turned up Hi guys! and they miss what I'm listening to musically)  has been mainly Halestorm (which is nice) but this morning I have elected to stick with Ben Howard which is acoustic and very introspective (goes with the mood I'm in) but at some point i intend to start on the Cheap Trick box set that I have just got (ooooooh!) and that's all I have got I'm a spent husk of a writer I need to recharge these rapidly depleted batteries (which I will do tomorrow when I go out with some great people for a "surprise") again thanks for the kind words for book three and they will be dispatched as soon as I get my arse into gear until the next time (whenever that will bloody be) play nice and enjoy life Toodles.

Tuesday 21 February 2012

The Wrath of (Genghis) Khan

Its no good I can't keep it up (please remove your mind from the gutter). I have to put my hands up and admit I'm goosed,the finish line is in sight for the end of year (work wise) and at the moment if I don't buck my ideas up (help) I'm going to fail spectacularly (like a skydiver without a parachute) I'm cream crackered, knackered totally banjaxed (and any other word you care to mention for being a tad tired)and the only person I  have to blame is me! I'm not being pushed by work, I'm not being driven by the client I'm just desperate to finish on time (there's a theme there somewhere) and because of this I'm a physical wreck (falling to pieces day by day)I wasn't in the best of shape after my operation and yes before everybody starts whinging I know I went back ahead of what the doctor said but I wasn't getting better sitting on my arse at home. The main issue I have is tiredness, sleep deprivation because I am at work for longer periods of time than normal I tend to stay up with my wife to see her (when I don't fall a sleep on the settee) so consequently getting up with the larks (The pillarks that is)means life can  catch me really quickly, my feet kill me my knees can be painfully after long periods of standing still,I have some kind of flesh eating disease (don't ask) simply because I am tired.

Is there a point to all this? well yes there is, I wouldn't advise after a twelve hour day while the wife is babysitting to disappear off upstairs and run a bath (even if you make a lovely meal for two for tea)  and definitely don't fall asleep in said bath unless you want to wake up with your wife standing over you ruining the element of surprise while she attempts to drown you by screaming like a Visigoth at you for falling asleep in the bath because as she is getting the grandson to sleep you should know (hells bells of course I should) that the dog is going to bark like a mad hound to be out (because he can't cross his legs) and because you are asleep your head (or at least your ears) will have slipped under the water so to deaden the sound of the herd of wildebeest hurtling towards you to scream at you like a loon because you have the temerity to fall asleep and the dog has woken the grandson up (ooops but what about me ) this holiday really can't come quick enough and when we come back I have two very hectic weeks but after that I can breath in relax (and worry about paying for the spending spree for the holiday hahahaha) and enjoy life (if the wife will let me) all over again.

Honest I will try and and get a semblance of life other than work work and then more work! thank you for all the kind comments and for everybody who has had a peek at the books on blurb.com (would be nicer if a few of you actually bought a book or four thousand as they are wonderfully cheap) number three is on its way and after I posted it the page had over 150 views so its heading in the right direction but another thing why I'm not happy about all this work I'm not writing (the quality that I expect) for number four which will be here in May (allegedly) so I really do need to pull my finger out so until then if the wife doesn't drown me play nice and enjoy life you only get one...Toodles!

Friday 17 February 2012

Profession of Violence

OK so for legal reasons I'm not allowed to name names and all that rubbish ...so I won't but I have to blow off steam! so here we go and damn the torpedoes. I like my job no sorry that should read I love my job I have been doing it now for nearly 7 years after moving up through the department to get where I am now I'm not perfect, I certainly don't know everything about my job (I'm always suspicious of people who claim they do) but I am passionate about doing it right and going the extra mile to help people who basically are abandoned by middle management and are left to fend for themselves and I like to think that I do actually go the extra mile to assist them, or at least try to.

Now some people want help and some really don't care or even give a rats ass my favourite answer so far is "I'm only here to sell shirts mate!" these people who think that there are no repercussions and that they can sail oblivious to anything that will have serious consequences "what can they do to me" I'm continually stupefied at how dumb these people are and I really would love to know how they keep there jobs, or at least how they haven't killed somebody or worse still lots of people, what has got me wound up today well I inspected a tenant on behalf of the landlord and did my usual inspection,and I pointed out a number of things that needed to be sorted nothing major nothing that a trained chimp couldn't sort out within twenty fours hours, hells bells I did ninety per cent of it for them (free of charge) sorry getting ahead of myself lets start at the beginning, I make an appointment a week in advance so that they can be prepared for my inspection and if they have any queries before hand I can point them in the right direction, like I said I like to help (the walking dead)but as it happens this particular manager decided to "avoid" me, now this happens a lot so I'm used to it I just go into scare mode and make sure when they do turn up they contact me so I can enquire if they enjoyed their day off while I was instructing their staff how to avoid prosecution and put their sorry ass in prison when it's required and yes with out my help it's going to happen sooner rather than later hahaha!

So back to the day of my inspection and the guy I have an appointment with "Isn't in" but his area manager is (1-0) and he isn't happy (2-0) so I then take him by the hand and lead him through the minefield that his member of staff is leaving at his doorstep! now at this point I have his full attention (or so I thought) and as I have already said it's nothing major (as long as it gets sorted) I explained our process what he needs to do, that he will get letters (not pleasant and very very legal) but as long as he gets to grip with it should be done and dusted before he gets my first letter (should be hahahaha) he claims that he will tear his manager a new one (3-0) I leave feeling a little safer, knowing that it will get sorted I offer to come in and run through what's required and even do some basic fire safety training for his staff (free of charge I don't mind and they are always suspicious "free") my man turned to the first part the next day to be met with great indifference (3-1) and when we turned up together to complete all the rest of the stuff and nobody was there GRRRR! (3-2) so I left a voice mail message saying if he wanted it he would have to chase me (4-2) and that was that I went about my business moving on to the next task.

My letter gets sent (just to the unit) no reply (4-3) and again I go about my business letter two gets sent (to the unit and his head office)  again no reply (4-4) well that is until today, if you follow the blog you will be aware of how busy I have been, and although I'm not perfect the odd thing has got past me and even though the walking dead don't seem to want my help I keep plodding on trying to help them all (like the deluded loon that I have become) so all this week I have been leaving work on time (me with my reputation) although I haven't been taking my breaks as I'm supposed to I don't mind as long as I'm busy but there is (always) some background noise from individuals (well meaning but still there hahaha) and I had a very crammed (but good) day and as we travelled home I was amazed at how quick the week had went and with very little drama (and the countdown started from this point) my main drama today was I hadn't charged my Blackberry so I didn't bother bringing it home (fatal) I hadn't been home long when my personnel mobile was glowing like the Bat phone, I thought I had better answer and when I did it turns out that the area manager was having issues with said manager and he had turned up at his head office to discover letter two sat on his desk (did I tell you all that they are very legal hahaha) well I believe his bottom fell out(big style) breach of lease falsification of records etc etc I do believe I got his attention but because I wasn't there he was having a very stressful day.

So I gathered all the relevant information and rang him expecting a battle royal when I finally rang him (OK so I made him stew for 37 minutes hey I was off the clock and was preparing to turn up and tear him a new one) I finally got  an answer and once again took him through the process, talking to him in a way my one year old grandson would understand and explained that I'm more than willing to help him through the process but he is going to have to get his finger out and crack on. at the end of our conversation (when his crying had nearly subsided) he explained that the company had let the said manager "go" (5-4) not a pleasing result and to be honest there was a lot more to it which he didn't want to divulge but the upshot he believed that he could trust this individual and he took the piss something rotten, The reason why this country is in the grip of the HSE (look it up if your not in the trade) is because of these individuals people who are supposed to have the interests of not only their staff but you the general public in their grubby little mitts and I suppose its why I love my job because I really am trying help these dullards (OK there's tons more people who are clued up and are fantastic at their jobs) or at he least the ones who really are a danger!

Now after I have calmed down ( I actually went to the library with my youngest which was cool) and I have typed my rage away I honestly believe if I got to do this job when I was younger I do believe I probably end up hitting the loons (hence the title) that populate where I work because I can't believe that people can be as dumb as a box of frogs, ah well as long as it keeps a roof over my head I suppose, and with the bile gone I am off to chill relax and do what the rest of the world seems to do on a regular basis so until the next time Toodles!

Monday 13 February 2012

An orphans tale

This one will be a short and sweet one but also something slightly different from me bitching about life the universe and everything!

We found it all alone by itself, it was a twin but this little fellow was lost and lonely all by himself indeed a stranger in a strange land, it had tried to stray into the dark corners and shield itself away from harms way, so many of it's brethren had fallen prey to the many dangerous things that roamed these dark dangerous alleyways at some point there had been huge herds of them roaming free but now so many of them had been caught and systematically abused, had been pushed into servitude which they didn't deserve working long arduous hours doing dangerous things that the likes of PETA were established for.

Now before anybody gets all uptight this is a situation that is happening in most houses up and down the land that's right I'm talking Sock abuse, those poor little things that have to put up with our stinky sweaty feet (well your's might be but mine are perfect) this little sock thought that he had escaped but no the wife found him and dragged him screaming into the light, damning him to the potential of the wife sticking her big plates of meat into them rather my dainty little feet and I know I will get into trouble with the wife for this (Ooops my inside voice again)how can we buy 30 pairs at a time yet within weeks we spend hours scratting through the house trying to pair what were once socks from the same batch but once washed they look like something from the elephant man's sock draw! I was determined to start up a charity to look after orphaned socks but realised that my 4527 other charitable causes might again take me to the high courts for abuse of charitable causes.

See every now and again I like to be silly it helps keep me sane away from the mundane things that pile upon everybody you know that thing they call life, the other good news is that we now have our schedule for the road trip to end all road trips, WE EVEN HAVE T SHIRTS (thanks E). I was forced to take mine off for bed so the countdown has begun and the silliness might just be factored in more and more in the run up to the big day so i leave you with just one thought Free The Sock! until next time Toodles!

Saturday 11 February 2012

The other way of stopping.

And so it came to pass Friday was the worst day of the week I was goosed but was too bloody dumb to realise the fact, let me tell you all about it, yet again long hours were starting to catch up with me and I was feeling disenchanted with life the universe and everything else but I could see the finish line in the coming weeks and I was determined to forge ahead and damn the torpedoes, Unfortunately life knows how to take your legs from underneath you just at the right moment.

Work was good but unbelievably busy and to be honest I didn't really know whether I was coming or going! April really can't come quick enough, but the amount of projects unfolding before me is mind boggling all I can do is hold on and go with the flow but I had a hissy fit on Thursday with somebody way above my pay scale over something silly, words were spoken and I regretted it straight away but I couldn't really back down so stood my ground and actually came out of it unscathed (hahaha I think but only time will tell) I wasn't popular either when I said I simply didn't have the time to take any more work on I have been doing more than my fair share since I went back to work and in the end something will give (me probably) the wife has been on my case but for the short term I will continue for as long as I can but the brakes are being applied I want to stop on my terms not because I hit a bloody brick wall!

That is exactly what happened on Friday I was awake really early so opted to go in before the buses even started with a lift from a colleague but the day started badly and I felt like I was running through mud all day by three thirty I had had enough and left work before everybody else, this was still later than my actual hours, I was first on the bus but it was already packed so I jumped into the first seat and was followed on by a posse of pond life who were real scum who couldn't work out what peak travelling times were and why they had to pay more (honestly if this is what our schools are turning out we will be a third world country in twenty years) than if they waited an extra hour such is life the bug bear for me was I thought I had left my iPod back at work and I had to sit with gritted teeth listening to the pond life chunter on and on I was hoping that the bus driver was going to kick them off and if he had needed some assistance I was more than willing to assist him in his time of need, but he chose to ignore them even when they played that good old game of "ring the bell" and thankfully as the bus became more and more empty they lost the will to play, pity!

I arrived home with the Kraken in full flow and with the wife having that "shoot me now" look all over her face  again she has the patience of a saint I am available with twenty years of bile to step in at  a moments notice and light the blue touch paper, just say the word and your wish will be my command, another night asleep on the settee and I now realise that I'm too old for this shit thankfully the wife treated me gently and didn't pick on me, but I was yet again the designated person for our pooch who was barking at six thirty this morning to be let out so I set about doing bits and pieces but the bad news was I was unhappy with the 11000 words from the other day and thought that to doctor them would take just as long as to rewrite them so the delete button was pressed and I await with baited breath for abuse around the world I'm hoping that what is produced after the event will indeed be worth the wait!

The blogs numbers are starting to rise small steps I know but what with me being such a media whore and spreading myself all over the interweb thingy I'm hoping that we get towards triple digits in the next six months! the new book hopefully goes to the publishers in the morning and people viewing the old ones is still high so that in it self is pleasing, to people who have been promised books (other than Mr Robinson) they are here and will be with you all presently so don't worry but the books are dirt cheap so if you want one send your friends over to Blurb.com to have a look.

Tomorrow the intention is to go and plot our little road trip that is coming up (around 36000 minutes and counting) and generally have a bloody good time with good friends it is what the life batteries are requesting so that is what we shall do so until the next time (and please do keep spreading the disease) Toodles! Drink is definitely the other way of stopping!

Thursday 9 February 2012

The milk of human kindness

OK so the fact that I have had to sit and wait more than twenty four hours because I have been so annoyed is nobody's business but mine, but lets be honest I can have more than my fair share of bile so I think it's only right that I share, are you sitting comfortably? then I'll go straight into rant mode!

I travel to work mainly by bus I don't drive and I know it's not perfect but as I'm a paying customer I do expect a certain level of satisfaction, guess what yes your right I didn't get the Fecker! I had a great nights sleep and was awake before my alarms went off, so I slide out of bed and went through the motions of my early morning routine so I didn't wake anybody up and the house was warm because somebody had left the heating on and if I'm honest I  wasn't complaining, I had my usual breakfast and was sat twiddling my thumbs really early (me with my reputation) so the only thing to do was well believe it or not was go to work. I sneaked out the front door without waking our old pooch (he does like to howl) and I only live about four hundred yards from the main bus station as I crossed the road and rounded the corner there was my bus pulling out, I wasn't going to try and catch it, my knees get me through the day (under protest) but it was icy and I didn't intend to end up on my arse, I thought I had come out later than I had thought "ah well there's another one in fifteen minutes" but it was bloody cold it just means I should learn to tell the bloody time, I was annoyed but what's the worst that can happen......well let me tell you!

The first bus should leave at four minutes past six, I had left the house or so I thought at five fifty eight it's not far even with my knees, as I came into the bus station there's a huge display with a digital display for telling the time and when I got there roughly two minutes after the bus had pulled out, now the clock read six oh three, I know I can be a tad thick but even I could work the twat had pulled out early (and with nobody on board either) now I was getting cold it was -5 and I was going to have to stand (with my bad knees) for a further fifteen minutes (wrong)as the time clicked by the odd face that normally gets the bus started to congregate and for a change most were chatty, small talk mainly about the weather and me whinging about the first bus. As it approached the time for the next bus some wag said "I hope this one turns up" (second sight or what) yes you could see it couldn't you it didn't turn so another fifteen minutes cold and yet more pain from my knees I wasn't a happy camper, the next bus pulls in on time but not at the stand and the driver then gets out to chat to another (female) driver when he does finally turn up I'm just glad to get on and sit down a few of the others had a go but to be honest I didn't blame him he was just about on time but again I sat there thinking I'm the customer and this is just shit. We set off after the driver had calmed some jagged nerves and we pulled out of the station but what we saw at the first stop had us all flabbergasted, only the fecking bus that didn't turn up at the station! he then tail-gated us all the way into work I was stotting and if I had been the first off the bus at the centre I would have pulled the tosser out of his seat what a cheeky bastard, to say I was livid would be a bit of an understatement it's safe to say the first few inspections of the day were not very friendly (Attila The Hun springs to mind) and when the poor inspector turned up on site his day was well and truly ruined (sorry Ivan) I'm glad I didn't travel home on the bus that night as I was still in a foul mood.

This morning I was a calmer person but was still annoyed and if there were any grief with the timetable I had prepared my notes for the epic letter of complaint that was going to go wrapped in a brick to the head of the company, lo and behold the bus was on time and the driver wasn't surly but polite this is what most people expect, I even said thank you as I got off see I do have good people skills (sometimes) but I'm still bitter (hence the blog) and it certainly isn't the end of it, if I don't get a good response the letter will still be written but it will just be full of precise bile and they will get nearly twenty six years of gripes about where they have gone wrong in my eyes, they won't give a shit but I will become bloody annoying (don't they know who the hell I am?) at least my inspections were a little smoother today hahahaha

Well I mentioned work so I better tell you that the weeks are just melting into one but now I'm just grumpy 99% of the time the more you do the more they expect, so yes I am digging my own grave so to speak and the tide is turning (and not in my favour) there are some big waves coming my way and I will endeavour to ride them out, but I do know whatever happens come April the first I will do exactly what I'm paid to do not a penny more (or less) I love my job but at the moment I'm not overly enamoured with all the games people are playing I don't play games I say it the way it is so sometimes (hahaha sometimes) I'm not always the most popular person in the world (noooo) but if it's games they want then I might just repay the compliments you don't survive twenty six years in one place without learning one or two tricks so if people want to do the dance bring it on bonny lad.

Yes I am full of the milk of human kindness I just like to have it returned from time to time, and that's the blog not as full of piss and vinegar as it should have been but that's the reason why I didn't put pen to paper (so to speak) straight away I took the time to write something measured as opposed to " the bunch of lazy no good pack of lying bastards"  I'm sure you get the message. We are both happy bunnies(the wife and I) as our new passports have arrived and those lovely Americans are going to let us into their lovely country (yeehaw The Clampetts go to Vegas) so I have started counting down the minutes (it can't come soon enough) Mr Robinson has received his copy of Foxtrot Oscar all the way in Germany and as I type this he is devouring and enjoying (I don't care if he doesn't I'm telling the world he is I might even use his comments as an advertising ploy for the next one hahahaha which is going to the printers at the weekend I just need to sort out the cover and once again take my time with technology so until after the meltdown Toodles!

Sunday 5 February 2012

Close My Door

3 days 3 blogs not the best but at least I'm blogging, I did indeed write yesterday around about 11000 words all of which I hated and yes you guessed it I........very nearly deleted it all but I hope I have learnt my lesson and it sits there smirking at me daring me to go ahead punk, we wait with baited breath I like what I wrote but I believe it to be a tad flowery!

While I sat typing the wife was a poorly camper and I had to be a,little more attentive than a normal Saturday football was still on in the background but the wife cut a sickly poorly baby figure, I have to admit I quite like her when she's like that because she's not as aggressive (much) but she is full of piss and vinegar when she gets better ah well swings and roundabouts, we chilled and generally had a normal life, we hit the sack and hopefully a good nights sleep would be the cure all for her!

This actually wasn't going to be the case as always I was out like a light but the wife tossed and turned till the wee hours of the morning and when the wee hours of the morning arrived I was up with our elderly dog barking every twenty minutes to be out (I'm sure alzheimers has set in for him as he goes out but he's not sure every time what for) so I didn't get the lie in that I had craved so I headed downstairs to tackle the work that I had avoided the day before and soon had my nose to the grindstone and other than the dog wanting out that's all I did for a few hours, the wife surfaced I made her breakfast and then I got ready to go to work, yes you read that right Sunday and I was going to work I realised that I was turning into the type of person I didn't care much for work work work no time for anything else I know money is always tight but I could only claim the time back I wasn't getting paid for it time to suck it up and just crack on with it!

I set off for the delights of public transport and then realised that their was a home football match in Newcastle so the potential of louts (oooh sorry I meant supporters) was high but thankfully other than heavy traffic with road works along the route it wasn't too bad groups of girls going shopping and young teenage boys giggling at the girls (damn was I that geeky) I wandered through the centre to my new office and caused panic when people saw me (they all think I'm there to do a drill) but I just let them think what they need to as I had too many other things to do! Again all I did was stick my head down and got on with it our holiday cannot come quick enough I know that I'm the one driving my schedule and it's something that I feel the need to do but come April I will be travelling at a more serene pace I know my job and my work load is going to increase in April however it will be with a great much wider time scale for everything to be done and with some assistance which I go to work to fight my corner for who and what I need in the morning!

After what seemed like a nanosecond I realised that this week would be The Boo Hoo club and that I would again have to join the great unwashed for the return journey and so I wandered back to the bus station I was even sadder that I had indeed gone to work the old me would have kicked me fair and square in the seat of the pants, as I joined our little band of travellers I soon realised that I was again going to be people watching because tonight ladies and gentlemen the bus was full of freaks.

The big fat bald guy (no not me) with the seventies porn moustache who everybody knows is a freak of the highest order the yuppie couple who really don't belong and sit with a look on their face that shows that this really isn't their world, even more so when the bloke puts on his hand cream to stop his hands getting chapped (WTF) the young mother with her kid who was screeching his little lungs out and she took it in her stride with a crowded bus and calmed him down, the football fans who had missed their intended bus home and had stayed for the extra pint and were paying the price for it now dozing in the darkness and not sure which was their stop, the young couple (aaah young love) who could have sat in separate seats but were glued to each other in a romantic couldn't take their eyes of each other kind of way, the young lad who gave his seat up to a grumpy old git who didn't say thank you (again no not me) the bus was just so full of character mainly good intentioned and we arrived at our destination without any of the strangeness that can occur on public transport and I headed across the road to a slightly better wife who had me a lovely meal for coming in to, so as I close my door on the end of a quiet weekend and sit here filling my iPod ready for the coming storm I know what I have to do and as I have said before a good holiday with great company is the order of the day I know that there is a shit load of crap coming our way after the holiday but I don't care I'm still counting down the minutes  the world will keep spinning no matter what until then Toodles!

Saturday 4 February 2012

From the light into the dark

Morning world and yes the log jam is indeed broken as I  sit here looking after a poorly wife, my head appears (to me anyways) to be focused and has a purpose not seen in the last fortnight a great nights sleep and I think I'm rested and hot to trot with what the new day will bring!

The intention is to keep looking after the wife but I hope (fingers crossed) to finish three chapters for "Piffle" today, it will be the lottery of titles that determine what I write so far 24 chapters (OK about 2000 words) written and not everyone will be used for this book but while I have it in my head I feel the desire to get it down on paper (so to speak) and while I do that I have a multitude of other tasks to do so we shall see, I was asked about my process for writing "Piffle" with the tendency of a lottery of titles and do I avoid certain titles, that would be a no I came up with a list of around 100 chapter titles and I randomly pick 3 at at a time some might be good some might be crap but hopefully out of 100 there should be some gold to pan handle but at a quarter of the way there I really do need to get my finger out and get on with it!

The Vegas trip has the potential for yet another (vanity) project and I will need to crack on with that otherwise it will fall like a corpse at the side of the road to be dragged into the woods and be devoured by my insecurity's (and I have loads enough already) as I sit I have about 9 books on the boil my fiction attempt has been pushed further back in the scale of things because I just can't get to grips with it I have the story I have all the characters and an amazing twist in the tale and every-time I start I recognise the style of a particular author so I need to address that and at the moment I cannot even contemplate  those issues at this junction in time,but it is the most burning issue writing wise I have so it will float back to the top sooner than later.

As I hurtle to wards the dark (no the wife isn't driving) of writing I hope everybody has a safe weekend as there is snow heading our way the old me would be stood at the back gate with my sledge waiting for it to fall the new me is a cripple in the white stuff and besides I have too much writing to crack on with so until the next time Toodles!

Friday 3 February 2012

A Losing Game(but a winning formula).

Faster than a speeding bullet that's how this week has gone work is just bouncing off every wall but because of legal implications I have been gagged about writing anything about it other than the broadest of strokes to discuss lets just say in quick terms I moved office again (and everybody is jealous) and the world kept turning lots of legal stuff from work came everybody's way and again the world kept turning and then it was Friday which is today I realised I might have well as signed the official secrets act as there is some many "projects" happening I feel as though my head could just go "pop"!

I have realised that there are only so many minutes in the day and that if I don't slow down I will actually miss most of them hahaha I have slept most of the time I haven't been at work and I have to admit I'm not overly popular on the home front because of said ZZZZ oops as I always say the world will indeed keep turning, a new start for the new(ish) year back to the quacks to have my weight monitored and as I peeped from behind fingers at the scales I had lost nearly six pounds in weight and not out of my wallet how good is that I felt I had put loads of weight on as I had (over) compensated by eating my body weight in what ever I could get my hands on so that's a plus in my book onwards and upwards but I'm under no illusion that I have a long way back just to get to where I was last year before my operation.

The number of blogs I had in my mind all this week is nobody's business but again too many things in my brain (mainly work) and to extract this one out of my brain has been like a root canal at the dentist's and I know after I post the bloody thing I'm going to hate it like an illegitimate child who turns up at a wedding anniversary, but the log jam has to be broken as I have three presentations to write for work (oops I can't tell you that hahaha) and I want to get cracking on "Piffle" I have the new book ready it just needs to be proof read by my newly installed editor in chief so hopefully book number three is a bit more professional than the first two (and yes I intend to head to the post office in the morning Mr Robinson) and to shoot my cover (I have a great idea but I need to visit a "location" to shoot it) what with all my media duties I need to pull my finger out and well CONCENTRATE sorry I had to say it because I don't know if you notice my mind will wander (oooh Bubbles) I need to ensure that the blog and other stuff moves on so I do ask if you read the blog on what ever platform click like send a cheque, raise a flag I'm sure you get the picture but the more people who can spread the disease helps we are at solid double figures but not growing like previous sites in the past I do admit that I don't want to outgrow and indeed get another infestation but the more involved the more fun we can all have with my responses, although I am still getting a few hits from Old timers (hello to four crazy Swedes two Germans and a couple of Yank$) it's solid like Marks & Spencer's not sexy like Victoria's Secret hahaha who the hell understands this I'm riffing like Dave Lee Roth off his nut on brown M&M's.

So OK this isn't my best but I need to get it out there as I need to progress and enjoy something in life somehow as I type this full of Chinese food (the wife is poorly so it's my prescription) and not full of drink the losing game I want to win is my weight loss not my family or friends I'm hoping that I will wake up in the morning with the desire to write my little socks I'm also praying for no bloody snow because I feel like an old aged pensioner with my bloody knees so I hope your weekend is great but I want mine to be even better on onwards enjoy kick ass and lets hope the sun keeps on shinning until a happier time Toodles! (and for your information I am a happy little bug did I not tell you I'm going on holiday hahahaha I'm just a tad constipated in the writing department sorry for the vivid picture)