I believe that words have a lot of power, depending on how they are said of course!
Sticks and stones may break our bones, buts lets be honest these even when broken will heal in a relatively short space of time!
Having said that one (hyper) critical Parent/ grand parent/ relative/nasty person can cripple you for a whole lot longer!
With those statements out there, lets try a little experiment (don't worry it doesn't involve chemicals or explosives) shall we? as you read on take note to see if you are smiling?
Did it work?
Now did you smile as soon as you read that?
If you didn't, don't worry about (there's no judgement here) don't beat yourself up we can always try again.
This time feel your lips curl up at the corners, now you might try and fight it, but you will by now have noticed that your mouth has taken on a life all of it's own!
As you keep reading this particular blog hopefully you will not have failed too see that you are indeed smiling like somebody who has won a rather large some of money on the euro millions!
It's all about the power of words, in this instance used for good. Now if you would like an example of words used for evil, you just give the aforementioned (or thought of) person who was a nasty piece shit in your formative years a ring and tell them your doing fine feck them and the horse they rode on in!
Now some blogs flow and some blogs take for ever, some I'm happy with straight away some I delete or put them away to polish this little bugger has been formulating since June of this year(and this is it's ninth rewrite) and it always seemed to end on a downer, and the intention was always to be an upper remember who you are stay true to what YOU believe! phone that person stop them in the street or even dance on their grave if they are dead! but feck them nobody has the right not to make you unhappy....until the next time Toodles!
Thursday 30 August 2012
Wednesday 29 August 2012
Bright Ideas
Do you ever get the feeling that you are having a terrifying and powerful shift in your thought process?
Do you ever have thoughts that horrify you?
Do you ever think "Oh dear god was that me"?
Do you ever wake up in the morning and as you open your eyes, do you wonder if you are the same person that climbed into bed the night before?
Do you ever think Feck it, why bother, why even try, it's all going to hell in a handcart anyway!
Do you ever wonder if the person serving you your food hates you because they have to wait on tables and then have to pretend to be nice, all the while knowing within themselves that they are a much better person than you could ever be! and that their current servile position is just proving their point that they indeed do live in an unjust universe.
Do you ever think that people are only ever nice to you because they want something?(ooops paranoia mode set to full)
Do you ever think "I'm only being nice being nice I want something"?
You see the reason why I bring these little questions to your attention is that I don't! I just thought i should share although I don't think that the wife is particularly happy with yet another blog but these questions needed to be asked and I had to get it out there until the next one Toodles!
Do you ever have thoughts that horrify you?
Do you ever think "Oh dear god was that me"?
Do you ever wake up in the morning and as you open your eyes, do you wonder if you are the same person that climbed into bed the night before?
Do you ever think Feck it, why bother, why even try, it's all going to hell in a handcart anyway!
Do you ever wonder if the person serving you your food hates you because they have to wait on tables and then have to pretend to be nice, all the while knowing within themselves that they are a much better person than you could ever be! and that their current servile position is just proving their point that they indeed do live in an unjust universe.
Do you ever think that people are only ever nice to you because they want something?(ooops paranoia mode set to full)
Do you ever think "I'm only being nice being nice I want something"?
You see the reason why I bring these little questions to your attention is that I don't! I just thought i should share although I don't think that the wife is particularly happy with yet another blog but these questions needed to be asked and I had to get it out there until the next one Toodles!
Difficult to Cure.
Forgive me I've been through this before, but as always I feel the desire to repeat myself(repeat myself)! My (puny) mind is not my friend today (or any other day for that matter!)
Seemingly my brain has the ability to have a look at any environment and perceive "what is" and relate it back to loony tunes central in double quick time as being depressingly inadequate (no surprise there then). So as a result I always end up listening to the voice (just one) in my head like some kind of Humphrey Bogart character in some classic noir film! "OK so the man wants to see you next Monday" (you really have to be in character and do the voice) "what's it all about?" I ask tentatively, "some kind of rota that you have put together" damn and blast (my mind at this stage would be well into overdrive) they don't like it, they are going to say that it's unworkable! they'll tell me this because they can (hey its what I would do ....but would I?) they are power mad and if they don't get to "tweak it"they won't have any control or even any power over me (like some kind of deranged solar panel) their power is derived from their ability to say yay or nay! forcing change where change is not required, simply because they can, they do not understand the legal ramifications (damn when did this get all serious) and the potential to send me and my little universe into a tail spin!
I should call them (yeah why not your on holiday and this started out as a bit of fun) tell them I don't want to play politics or their tedious little mind games and all the crap that goes with it! I know I will just quit (oooh an idea) yes that's what I will do, I will quit, I will bugger off to some quaint English village and write my great novel(that will never be published by a proper publisher let alone be filmed or turned into a spin off TV series although my vision would sit well with the HBO ethos....WTF OK stick with me boys and girls I know where this is going!) But no I will stay in my dead end job and turn into (what do you mean turn!) one of those bitter and twisted old men, I'll end up in some down and out pub blaming the world and all that is in it (this really does sound ...ah lets not go there) and sit around all day playing dominoes (sounds like a plan!) asking what happened to all the good things in life?
So in reality (it comes flooding back in like the cold Atlantic into the lower decks of the Titanic) I won't quit (I still have to service the national debt of Peru for at least the next four years) I'll just become (what do you mean become, no lets not go there I'm fragile enough) a diva! I know I'll just be difficult (tee hee) no more than I am already, but in all likelihood I will roll over and have my belly rubbed, covert apathy (now that I can do ....I suppose) that's the way forward, they won't get to me, I don't care (damn I do I always have!) By Monday morning after being off for nine days (and only checking your Blackberry for your work emails every other day ....allegedly!) allowing my paranoia to build up to a tipping point of no return, I will lash out at the slightest provocation! "Hey Colin would you like a coffee " "Feck you and the horse you rode in on I quit" (back in the voice of Humphrey Bogart) but then imagine my surprise when they tell me they love what I have come up with, and they want to implement it straight away! They love the rota the plan the entire direction that I intend to steer the company in! You know I will in a small and humble voice come back with "yeah well it's a work in progress still need to polish it a bit more, I'm sure I can make it a whole lot better" .
While all along that little voice in my head whispers "they are lying ....learn to play dominoes"!
Seemingly my brain has the ability to have a look at any environment and perceive "what is" and relate it back to loony tunes central in double quick time as being depressingly inadequate (no surprise there then). So as a result I always end up listening to the voice (just one) in my head like some kind of Humphrey Bogart character in some classic noir film! "OK so the man wants to see you next Monday" (you really have to be in character and do the voice) "what's it all about?" I ask tentatively, "some kind of rota that you have put together" damn and blast (my mind at this stage would be well into overdrive) they don't like it, they are going to say that it's unworkable! they'll tell me this because they can (hey its what I would do ....but would I?) they are power mad and if they don't get to "tweak it"they won't have any control or even any power over me (like some kind of deranged solar panel) their power is derived from their ability to say yay or nay! forcing change where change is not required, simply because they can, they do not understand the legal ramifications (damn when did this get all serious) and the potential to send me and my little universe into a tail spin!
I should call them (yeah why not your on holiday and this started out as a bit of fun) tell them I don't want to play politics or their tedious little mind games and all the crap that goes with it! I know I will just quit (oooh an idea) yes that's what I will do, I will quit, I will bugger off to some quaint English village and write my great novel(that will never be published by a proper publisher let alone be filmed or turned into a spin off TV series although my vision would sit well with the HBO ethos....WTF OK stick with me boys and girls I know where this is going!) But no I will stay in my dead end job and turn into (what do you mean turn!) one of those bitter and twisted old men, I'll end up in some down and out pub blaming the world and all that is in it (this really does sound ...ah lets not go there) and sit around all day playing dominoes (sounds like a plan!) asking what happened to all the good things in life?
So in reality (it comes flooding back in like the cold Atlantic into the lower decks of the Titanic) I won't quit (I still have to service the national debt of Peru for at least the next four years) I'll just become (what do you mean become, no lets not go there I'm fragile enough) a diva! I know I'll just be difficult (tee hee) no more than I am already, but in all likelihood I will roll over and have my belly rubbed, covert apathy (now that I can do ....I suppose) that's the way forward, they won't get to me, I don't care (damn I do I always have!) By Monday morning after being off for nine days (and only checking your Blackberry for your work emails every other day ....allegedly!) allowing my paranoia to build up to a tipping point of no return, I will lash out at the slightest provocation! "Hey Colin would you like a coffee " "Feck you and the horse you rode in on I quit" (back in the voice of Humphrey Bogart) but then imagine my surprise when they tell me they love what I have come up with, and they want to implement it straight away! They love the rota the plan the entire direction that I intend to steer the company in! You know I will in a small and humble voice come back with "yeah well it's a work in progress still need to polish it a bit more, I'm sure I can make it a whole lot better" .
While all along that little voice in my head whispers "they are lying ....learn to play dominoes"!
Tuesday 28 August 2012
Open Letter to a .....
Dear Me
Can I just say that over the years (well lets face it you ain't getting any younger) I have resented you for not being athletic enough (well OK so just lately.....hang on since when did 15 years become just lately?) Brave enough (should that not be dumb enough) Funny enough (erm lets not go there) Smart enough ( and again lets not go there either) Talented enough (what do you mean bodge it and scarper!) Handsome enough (oh I don't know) Rich enough (have you lot not met my wife) Admired enough (sob!) Educated enough (your having a fecking laugh right) Popular enough (OK so you got me on that one) Outgoing enough (me I'm just shy and misunderstood) Quiet enough (OK so my mouth opens and both feet follow) Old enough (although at this point I feel fecking old) Young enough (hahahaha) Loving enough(I don't think I'm qualified to answer that one!) and loved enough (there should always be a little room for some loving!) I have always demanded perfection from you (Doesn't sound like me) and have found you to have not hit the mark, the result of this obsession (shouldn't the tablets have kicked in by now? are you sure that this is about me at all) has been to make you terrified of failure ( now I know that you're talking about somebody else) and ridicule (with this hairstyle) Angry at any obstacles (me angry noooo) and finally incapable (careful) of enjoying the fruits of your labour. That is not only all around you but within you as well (fecking hippy) well I can assure you Mister that's all about to change,From now on I intend to make every effort (yeah right) to love and accept you (feck off) as you are! But since old habits die hard (I just had to get a song title in there kids) lets start with something easy....Your not as fat as you think you are (time to take the drink from the old loon).
Affectionately Me
PS: it's amazing what you can do while waiting for a parcel....until next time Toodles!
Can I just say that over the years (well lets face it you ain't getting any younger) I have resented you for not being athletic enough (well OK so just lately.....hang on since when did 15 years become just lately?) Brave enough (should that not be dumb enough) Funny enough (erm lets not go there) Smart enough ( and again lets not go there either) Talented enough (what do you mean bodge it and scarper!) Handsome enough (oh I don't know) Rich enough (have you lot not met my wife) Admired enough (sob!) Educated enough (your having a fecking laugh right) Popular enough (OK so you got me on that one) Outgoing enough (me I'm just shy and misunderstood) Quiet enough (OK so my mouth opens and both feet follow) Old enough (although at this point I feel fecking old) Young enough (hahahaha) Loving enough(I don't think I'm qualified to answer that one!) and loved enough (there should always be a little room for some loving!) I have always demanded perfection from you (Doesn't sound like me) and have found you to have not hit the mark, the result of this obsession (shouldn't the tablets have kicked in by now? are you sure that this is about me at all) has been to make you terrified of failure ( now I know that you're talking about somebody else) and ridicule (with this hairstyle) Angry at any obstacles (me angry noooo) and finally incapable (careful) of enjoying the fruits of your labour. That is not only all around you but within you as well (fecking hippy) well I can assure you Mister that's all about to change,From now on I intend to make every effort (yeah right) to love and accept you (feck off) as you are! But since old habits die hard (I just had to get a song title in there kids) lets start with something easy....Your not as fat as you think you are (time to take the drink from the old loon).
Affectionately Me
PS: it's amazing what you can do while waiting for a parcel....until next time Toodles!
Monday 27 August 2012
Think About It
I have reason to believe that I have too many thoughts(please note that I have never claimed that any of them were indeed sensible) I believe that I'm actually drowning in thick gooey swamp of thoughts!
No the more I think of it a swamp would be the wrong idea, It's more like being in a swarm of wasps (please don't try and imagine a small swarm of Blackie Lawless's flying around me) each and everyone one of them flying flying like world war two aces looking for a place to sting me! Yes wasps I will go with that wasps stinging for no other reason than because they can!
In fact I genuinely believe my entire understanding of life the universe and everything is based on my own (admittedly wacky) thoughts, which as much as we don't like to admit it are created by emotions (yuk!) which themselves are generated by... I can only surmise is my reaction to everything around me?
So apparently I understand the world through a special filter of my own emotions and thoughts (can you see where this is going ? if you can will you let me know because I haven't a bloody clue) is this how everybody else sees the world? is this how everybody else does it? if this in fact the way that it's done then I believe that it brings up a fascinating concept!
Since we were kids(probably) not one of us has directly viewed the world in which we live in (oooh sounds like a lyric to me) as it should be seen (I feel like as though I'm explaining a Doctor Who episode) I wonder how it must feel without this filter? I reckon that you would have to be as one with the world, as opposed to having your filter do just that filter out all of your thoughts and emotions!
I believe that this could be classed as a duality issue, There's you, there's the chair, there's me (again) we live on this collection of dust spinning out there in space amongst the stars dominated (ooh baby) by a race of beings, whose only connection to reality is to think that their thoughts are actually wasps(or is that just me?).
What is actually happening is that we are drifting through life in some altered reality (affected by that bloody filter) that is at best a madhouse a mirror image of what is actually out there, it makes you think doesn't it?
No actually what it does prove is that I have far too much time on my hands, that these blogs are indeed the work of idle hands, I really do need to take up a hobby (maybe Inuit throat singing) where I can get out into the big blue yonder and actually enjoy what's left of my short life without the filter being switched onto full. two blogs in two days both on random nothingness and obscurity! I think I could be doomed hahaha until tomorrow's next exciting episode ...Toodles!
No the more I think of it a swamp would be the wrong idea, It's more like being in a swarm of wasps (please don't try and imagine a small swarm of Blackie Lawless's flying around me) each and everyone one of them flying flying like world war two aces looking for a place to sting me! Yes wasps I will go with that wasps stinging for no other reason than because they can!
In fact I genuinely believe my entire understanding of life the universe and everything is based on my own (admittedly wacky) thoughts, which as much as we don't like to admit it are created by emotions (yuk!) which themselves are generated by... I can only surmise is my reaction to everything around me?
So apparently I understand the world through a special filter of my own emotions and thoughts (can you see where this is going ? if you can will you let me know because I haven't a bloody clue) is this how everybody else sees the world? is this how everybody else does it? if this in fact the way that it's done then I believe that it brings up a fascinating concept!
Since we were kids(probably) not one of us has directly viewed the world in which we live in (oooh sounds like a lyric to me) as it should be seen (I feel like as though I'm explaining a Doctor Who episode) I wonder how it must feel without this filter? I reckon that you would have to be as one with the world, as opposed to having your filter do just that filter out all of your thoughts and emotions!
I believe that this could be classed as a duality issue, There's you, there's the chair, there's me (again) we live on this collection of dust spinning out there in space amongst the stars dominated (ooh baby) by a race of beings, whose only connection to reality is to think that their thoughts are actually wasps(or is that just me?).
What is actually happening is that we are drifting through life in some altered reality (affected by that bloody filter) that is at best a madhouse a mirror image of what is actually out there, it makes you think doesn't it?
No actually what it does prove is that I have far too much time on my hands, that these blogs are indeed the work of idle hands, I really do need to take up a hobby (maybe Inuit throat singing) where I can get out into the big blue yonder and actually enjoy what's left of my short life without the filter being switched onto full. two blogs in two days both on random nothingness and obscurity! I think I could be doomed hahaha until tomorrow's next exciting episode ...Toodles!
Sunday 26 August 2012
Still Crazy
Some people seem to think that I'm a loon me with with my reputation (hang on I have a reputation) well I will let you all decide?
I recently pierced the veil of my long standing delusion which I actually considered to be (my) reality! My delusion I hear you all ask in unison was simply this: I thought/think that this blog (or book even depending in which format you get round to it) was actually highly thought of, as a point of reference and for it being the fountain of knowledge for the known universe, I assumed that people were deeply aware of me and my fantastic brain! oh and all the wonderful thoughts that spew forth from said brain in a kaleidoscope of fun and frivolity!
I assumed that everything I said or everything that I did made me the actual centre of the universe, my relationships with friends and family and the knuckledraggers that enter my orbit, all of my completely joyous and momentous thoughts, happiness, insights, attitudes, taste (we all know that I'm a guru of exquisite taste) Desires, fears, my good hair days (oh alright and my bad hair days ......hey it gets fluffy when it gets wet oh dear I wish I hadn't started down this road!)My choice of Pants (will somebody for the love of god please call the fashion police) etc etc etc!
That I honestly thought that these and a whole smorgasbord of other items floating from my brain were of some interest to you my loyal public, I'm not certain why I just did, I suppose this could a family trait and the delusion is one that has been handed down from somebody who was also delusional (I'm not sure I haven't seen him in 40 years so I can't ask him, if any of you know which nursing home he is in and hopefully is getting buggered in please send the address to me at Ireallydon'tgiveashit.co and you could win 23 green shield stamps) or is it simply a desire to fit in? to be accepted? be that as it may the actual impact of my hallucination has been that I have been in a state of low level freak out (go figure)!
Now while it's still to early to tell, it appears that the freedom I obtain from it far out weighs your puny desire for oxygen and other items that you require to live (puny mortals) you nice people out there in this blue pearl that we call earth although you are considerate you really don't give a rats ass about me or my life, it appears that you actually only give a rats ass about your own lives (how very dare you) I suppose this means that I need no longer care what you mere(puny) mortals actually think of me! (don't worry I won't) could this mean I'm as invisible to the big bad world as I am in my own home? But more importantly does this mean that I can live my life as delusion free as I possibly can (hahahaha yeah right!) and to be as true as I can to myself (why spoil the habits of a lifetime that's what I say) all that I need to discover is what hairstyle to go with? the one that best suits my god given (delusional) status demands!
As I sat and scribbled these ramblings down long hand (and I have always loved to scribble) I find it funny how the smell of almonds from the ink has followed me all the way around this blog, I just thought that you might like that little fact purely because I could! it's my blog and I will scribble as i see fit (until they take me back to the funny farm). This is the first little result from me trying to write blogs (that are non toxic) that I think will help my mental state hahahahaha, I feel the need to point out to some of you who do not have English as your first language (I must bite my tongue at this point remember the R word) this has been purely humorous tongue in cheek (and not in a deviant way) an attempt at being light hearted (I have to say this because of any later insanity pleas hahaha) and not completely serious so until the next time...Toodles!
I recently pierced the veil of my long standing delusion which I actually considered to be (my) reality! My delusion I hear you all ask in unison was simply this: I thought/think that this blog (or book even depending in which format you get round to it) was actually highly thought of, as a point of reference and for it being the fountain of knowledge for the known universe, I assumed that people were deeply aware of me and my fantastic brain! oh and all the wonderful thoughts that spew forth from said brain in a kaleidoscope of fun and frivolity!
I assumed that everything I said or everything that I did made me the actual centre of the universe, my relationships with friends and family and the knuckledraggers that enter my orbit, all of my completely joyous and momentous thoughts, happiness, insights, attitudes, taste (we all know that I'm a guru of exquisite taste) Desires, fears, my good hair days (oh alright and my bad hair days ......hey it gets fluffy when it gets wet oh dear I wish I hadn't started down this road!)My choice of Pants (will somebody for the love of god please call the fashion police) etc etc etc!
That I honestly thought that these and a whole smorgasbord of other items floating from my brain were of some interest to you my loyal public, I'm not certain why I just did, I suppose this could a family trait and the delusion is one that has been handed down from somebody who was also delusional (I'm not sure I haven't seen him in 40 years so I can't ask him, if any of you know which nursing home he is in and hopefully is getting buggered in please send the address to me at Ireallydon'tgiveashit.co and you could win 23 green shield stamps) or is it simply a desire to fit in? to be accepted? be that as it may the actual impact of my hallucination has been that I have been in a state of low level freak out (go figure)!
Now while it's still to early to tell, it appears that the freedom I obtain from it far out weighs your puny desire for oxygen and other items that you require to live (puny mortals) you nice people out there in this blue pearl that we call earth although you are considerate you really don't give a rats ass about me or my life, it appears that you actually only give a rats ass about your own lives (how very dare you) I suppose this means that I need no longer care what you mere(puny) mortals actually think of me! (don't worry I won't) could this mean I'm as invisible to the big bad world as I am in my own home? But more importantly does this mean that I can live my life as delusion free as I possibly can (hahahaha yeah right!) and to be as true as I can to myself (why spoil the habits of a lifetime that's what I say) all that I need to discover is what hairstyle to go with? the one that best suits my god given (delusional) status demands!
As I sat and scribbled these ramblings down long hand (and I have always loved to scribble) I find it funny how the smell of almonds from the ink has followed me all the way around this blog, I just thought that you might like that little fact purely because I could! it's my blog and I will scribble as i see fit (until they take me back to the funny farm). This is the first little result from me trying to write blogs (that are non toxic) that I think will help my mental state hahahahaha, I feel the need to point out to some of you who do not have English as your first language (I must bite my tongue at this point remember the R word) this has been purely humorous tongue in cheek (and not in a deviant way) an attempt at being light hearted (I have to say this because of any later insanity pleas hahaha) and not completely serious so until the next time...Toodles!
Saturday 25 August 2012
Prisoners In Paradise
OK so the title is bloody obvious but at this moment in time I don't care live with it.
Thanks for the fab comments on the last blog I tried to do something different and I felt so much better for it and it is something I intend to try and do again it made me happy! don't know why but it did(probably because I did something for me for a change.... I don't do that very often) so there you go. this one isn't one of them I need to get this off my chest like a big lump of phlegm as it eats away at me and I think people who actually know me are worried for my sanity! I'm fine don't worry I just have pay day blues knowing full well that because of outlay in the last few months and all that's gone wrong of late has just got us on the ropes (but a new cunning plan has been devised) and with me being on holiday this week I have (sort of) lost the will to live knowing well the furthest I will get for a holiday jaunt is to the back door to let the old man of the house out.
It's the wife I'm worried for as the Kraken has been at her most evil this week and I really did want to sort it out once and for all but I'm held captive because it would then be me that did the deed and I do not want to have that get out of jail free card, held over my head , it has been shit for 21 years worse for the wife but she knows no better but if I don't vent I would hate to think that things would get so bad that they bring the whole house down! I'm not happy and the wife knows it but we are in the corner with it so we will as always bite our lip and see where the path takes us! it has only two destinations and i would prefer not to go to one of them.
Work has just been bedlam and the war there continues like Germany picking at the Polish border in the run up to the big day! but I will keep fighting my corner and try to dodge the curve balls that come my way.
We have a week of me being off i have a number of tasks to do and being with the wife is one that believe it or not I look forward to, but hopefully we won't end up in separate corners waiting as always for the bell to go Ding! we have the grandson coming shortly (oh deep joy) while hellchild buggers off on her holiday, it's not what I expected for a summer break but the world keeps spinning so we will have to suck it up and get on with it!
so this week hopefully the intention is to do a number of short ones just to see how it goes no promises but you have to set yourself challenges otherwise you would go (cuckoo) bonkers! the next book has been pushed back again purely due to financial restraints not to worry though it's on it's way and the next one is going ok so far as well nine chapters and not one at all depressing at all hahahaha so don't worry I'm alive and well and yes still kicking worrying about the wife for a change watch the skies there will some little packages being delivered here soon so until then .......Toodles!
Thanks for the fab comments on the last blog I tried to do something different and I felt so much better for it and it is something I intend to try and do again it made me happy! don't know why but it did(probably because I did something for me for a change.... I don't do that very often) so there you go. this one isn't one of them I need to get this off my chest like a big lump of phlegm as it eats away at me and I think people who actually know me are worried for my sanity! I'm fine don't worry I just have pay day blues knowing full well that because of outlay in the last few months and all that's gone wrong of late has just got us on the ropes (but a new cunning plan has been devised) and with me being on holiday this week I have (sort of) lost the will to live knowing well the furthest I will get for a holiday jaunt is to the back door to let the old man of the house out.
It's the wife I'm worried for as the Kraken has been at her most evil this week and I really did want to sort it out once and for all but I'm held captive because it would then be me that did the deed and I do not want to have that get out of jail free card, held over my head , it has been shit for 21 years worse for the wife but she knows no better but if I don't vent I would hate to think that things would get so bad that they bring the whole house down! I'm not happy and the wife knows it but we are in the corner with it so we will as always bite our lip and see where the path takes us! it has only two destinations and i would prefer not to go to one of them.
Work has just been bedlam and the war there continues like Germany picking at the Polish border in the run up to the big day! but I will keep fighting my corner and try to dodge the curve balls that come my way.
We have a week of me being off i have a number of tasks to do and being with the wife is one that believe it or not I look forward to, but hopefully we won't end up in separate corners waiting as always for the bell to go Ding! we have the grandson coming shortly (oh deep joy) while hellchild buggers off on her holiday, it's not what I expected for a summer break but the world keeps spinning so we will have to suck it up and get on with it!
so this week hopefully the intention is to do a number of short ones just to see how it goes no promises but you have to set yourself challenges otherwise you would go (cuckoo) bonkers! the next book has been pushed back again purely due to financial restraints not to worry though it's on it's way and the next one is going ok so far as well nine chapters and not one at all depressing at all hahahaha so don't worry I'm alive and well and yes still kicking worrying about the wife for a change watch the skies there will some little packages being delivered here soon so until then .......Toodles!
Monday 20 August 2012
A Chequered Flag.
At some point you have to stop and smell the roses, you know you're getting old when you utter that particular sentence, you know it when you put your back out sitting on the toilet or even when you bend over and you make long loud oooooh sounds, you know you're getting old when the wife wants to shave your ears, back, eyebrows you know it ain't going to have a happy ending! when if you live in California your second (or third or forth or your fifth) wife calls the previous wife "Ma'am"! (incoming) thank god I live in Gimpsville, you know you get genuinely excited when the post man deposits junk mail never mind normal mail, somebody (even a computer) has thought enough about you to send you something!
At a certain age you start reading the obituary columns for long forgotten friends people who have long forgot that you existed (the same as you had about them until you saw their name in the paper). when the smoking hot young thang from your favourite movie from your youth now looks like William Shatner...... (shudder), when women your own age have real breasts and artificial hips, when masturbation (its a waste of f***ing time....work that one out please!) leaves you winded (so I'm told), when you try and chat to the kid(sorry but I do feel old at this moment in time) hooking up some fancy bit of technology like a blue ray or some such and you reminisce about Betamax (hahaha I didn't have a video until 1991) and he looks at you like you have two heads.
when you go to the toilet its like you have joined the navy and are sending messages in Morse code because you Pee in dots and dashes oh and you have to look down to see if you are finished. All your radio stations play nothing but "Classic Rock" when your Doctor at your annual check up says stuff like its "normal for a man of your age" or "consider yourself lucky" (WTF)! when you have more chins than a Chinese telephone directory or if you prefer a skin hammock (that beard suits you hahaha) and you should know better than to have a look below your man bits (even if the Doctor says you should) oh dear.
You choose your car because of the cup holders or even worse lumber support (shock horror) being nostalgic for The Who performing at the Olympics (what the hell boys so much for rebellion....meet the new boss yeah he's the same as the old boss) and realising that the reason you are so sad is because you realise that's about as good as it gets for music these days on British TV! you wonder if that next orgasm (sometime in 2020) will actually kill you never mind wind you! or that friendly Doctor (him again he keeps popping up) offers you a new medication that has the potential to reduce your sperm count (and that should bother me why?????)
all your radio stations play nothing but "Classic Rock".......oh shit I already did that one bugger this old age malarkey isn't what it's cracked up to be, I hope this one was a happier one than the last few until the next one play nice and love your loved ones...Toodles
At a certain age you start reading the obituary columns for long forgotten friends people who have long forgot that you existed (the same as you had about them until you saw their name in the paper). when the smoking hot young thang from your favourite movie from your youth now looks like William Shatner...... (shudder), when women your own age have real breasts and artificial hips, when masturbation (its a waste of f***ing time....work that one out please!) leaves you winded (so I'm told), when you try and chat to the kid(sorry but I do feel old at this moment in time) hooking up some fancy bit of technology like a blue ray or some such and you reminisce about Betamax (hahaha I didn't have a video until 1991) and he looks at you like you have two heads.
when you go to the toilet its like you have joined the navy and are sending messages in Morse code because you Pee in dots and dashes oh and you have to look down to see if you are finished. All your radio stations play nothing but "Classic Rock" when your Doctor at your annual check up says stuff like its "normal for a man of your age" or "consider yourself lucky" (WTF)! when you have more chins than a Chinese telephone directory or if you prefer a skin hammock (that beard suits you hahaha) and you should know better than to have a look below your man bits (even if the Doctor says you should) oh dear.
You choose your car because of the cup holders or even worse lumber support (shock horror) being nostalgic for The Who performing at the Olympics (what the hell boys so much for rebellion....meet the new boss yeah he's the same as the old boss) and realising that the reason you are so sad is because you realise that's about as good as it gets for music these days on British TV! you wonder if that next orgasm (sometime in 2020) will actually kill you never mind wind you! or that friendly Doctor (him again he keeps popping up) offers you a new medication that has the potential to reduce your sperm count (and that should bother me why?????)
all your radio stations play nothing but "Classic Rock".......oh shit I already did that one bugger this old age malarkey isn't what it's cracked up to be, I hope this one was a happier one than the last few until the next one play nice and love your loved ones...Toodles
Wednesday 15 August 2012
Cool Calm and Collected!
OK so the title is total Bollocks but go with the flow and try and humour me....please!
Me angry with the world nah that doesn't sound right, does it? (go figure) Am I indeed the angriest man in the world....no of course not (our house maybe) but when people say that I can be angry! sarcastic! short!(OK so you might just get the picture)I have a tendency to shrug my shoulders and go "oh they don't really know me" "it doesn't mean anything" but you know what it's fecking horse shite it has taken me 47 years for me to actually shed some light on those things we call feelings (pretty damn fast for a bloke I know) and guess what I am fecking angry! angry about a lot of things but lets get there shall we (see I'm even angry with myself for being angry) how dare the world try and dictate to me the way I feel, even if you connect to the modern world in just the slightest way you have every bloody right to be angry!
In me anger rises up constantly (assuming that the wife hasn't been able to dose me with some wacky tablets) and lets be honest, because that's what the blog is all about, anger is good! it clenches my stomach muscles more than I ever would in a natural kind of way! it adds hours and hours of productivity to my writing (have you really read the previous books/blogs?)It's a constant reminder that I'm glad I live in England a place where thankfully I would never ever be allowed to own a gun! It makes writing with a pen an opportunity to practise throwing things when it all goes horribly wrong (don't try that little exercise with a laptop boys and girls) it adds some real sizzle to caffeine products (one reason why I don't drink coffee) It tells me what I want to hear (I'm fine, honest I'm OK, fester fester fester) It proves that my doctor is a feckwit and that I have no need to slow down, It keeps Knuckledraggers at arms length and it encourages me to blog about inane things at random points in the week!
So why do I have the right to be angry? I don't I am tired so when I get tired I get angry, and I'm annoyed with myself so once again I get angry (with myself I hasten to add)I seem to be angry an awful lot these days that just points out to me that I'm not happy if I'm not happy then the people around me will not be happy and I wouldn't be able to sleep (yeah me with my reputation) at night if I thought I was the cause of somebody else to be unhappy, the main problem I have already alluded to earlier it has taken me 47 years to get in touch with my feelings and I have to hold up my hands and admit I haven't got fecking clue, there are so many things going on out there in the world with close friends worrying about family members struggling with ill health and I don't hear them get angry so what gives me the right to be angry!
Slightly unhappy is what I should really admit to! yes but no need to pile my woes on to anybody else's shoulders, we had intended to go to a birthday party but because of me being (very unhappy) and me actually for once me making the financial decision, we stayed in on Sunday and we missed a birthday treat for A but what we didn't miss was the arse hole who threw his beer bottle over the wall and smashed the cars windscreen (it never rains but it heaps down) any financial stability that we have been trying to sort has just gone into meltdown, all we can do is hold our breath/nerve (delete the appropriate one) and limp to the end of the month. I have been invited to an opening of a champagne bar and then onto to a fancy restaurant in Newcastle (Fat Buddha are they trying to tell me something) but I can't/won't go, because everybody has oodles of cash and know how to behave in adult company I don't have any so common sense dictates that I sit in the background and not play! So again I feel anger welling up in me I should be in a comfortable place I shouldn't have to sit it out, I'm just as good as the rest of the people, but I always feel like the grubby faced kid with his face pressed into the window looking in from the outside!
What will I do ? well what I always do I will bottle it up and push it as far down as I possibly can and try (hahaha) and move on with my life, I will try and keep it together because that's the adult thing to do but I feel like all the time that I'm picking at threads on a thread bare coat and the problem is if I pick at the wrong thread it will be me that unravels. Its time to take stock or even just a deep breath before I jump off into the darkness I have the well being of others to consider so its time for me to grow a set and man up and get on with it! I don't think the writing has been helping as much as I thought as the amount of bile that has been pouring out of me would rate as a bigger ecological problem than BP had in the gulf of mexico and although my intention was to add to previously written stuff and hopefully polish it and make it happier (hahaha never going to happen) I have decided to jettison the fourteen chapters as they really are unfit for human consumption. so I have decided this shall be the last unhappy blog I write for a while (they can never always be happy jolly go lucky affairs) and by Friday I intend to be happy (well that's if the medication kicks in...actually nah lets not go there) remember I'm OK but there are always others who could do with your help or your prayers so until then Toodles!
Me angry with the world nah that doesn't sound right, does it? (go figure) Am I indeed the angriest man in the world....no of course not (our house maybe) but when people say that I can be angry! sarcastic! short!(OK so you might just get the picture)I have a tendency to shrug my shoulders and go "oh they don't really know me" "it doesn't mean anything" but you know what it's fecking horse shite it has taken me 47 years for me to actually shed some light on those things we call feelings (pretty damn fast for a bloke I know) and guess what I am fecking angry! angry about a lot of things but lets get there shall we (see I'm even angry with myself for being angry) how dare the world try and dictate to me the way I feel, even if you connect to the modern world in just the slightest way you have every bloody right to be angry!
In me anger rises up constantly (assuming that the wife hasn't been able to dose me with some wacky tablets) and lets be honest, because that's what the blog is all about, anger is good! it clenches my stomach muscles more than I ever would in a natural kind of way! it adds hours and hours of productivity to my writing (have you really read the previous books/blogs?)It's a constant reminder that I'm glad I live in England a place where thankfully I would never ever be allowed to own a gun! It makes writing with a pen an opportunity to practise throwing things when it all goes horribly wrong (don't try that little exercise with a laptop boys and girls) it adds some real sizzle to caffeine products (one reason why I don't drink coffee) It tells me what I want to hear (I'm fine, honest I'm OK, fester fester fester) It proves that my doctor is a feckwit and that I have no need to slow down, It keeps Knuckledraggers at arms length and it encourages me to blog about inane things at random points in the week!
So why do I have the right to be angry? I don't I am tired so when I get tired I get angry, and I'm annoyed with myself so once again I get angry (with myself I hasten to add)I seem to be angry an awful lot these days that just points out to me that I'm not happy if I'm not happy then the people around me will not be happy and I wouldn't be able to sleep (yeah me with my reputation) at night if I thought I was the cause of somebody else to be unhappy, the main problem I have already alluded to earlier it has taken me 47 years to get in touch with my feelings and I have to hold up my hands and admit I haven't got fecking clue, there are so many things going on out there in the world with close friends worrying about family members struggling with ill health and I don't hear them get angry so what gives me the right to be angry!
Slightly unhappy is what I should really admit to! yes but no need to pile my woes on to anybody else's shoulders, we had intended to go to a birthday party but because of me being (very unhappy) and me actually for once me making the financial decision, we stayed in on Sunday and we missed a birthday treat for A but what we didn't miss was the arse hole who threw his beer bottle over the wall and smashed the cars windscreen (it never rains but it heaps down) any financial stability that we have been trying to sort has just gone into meltdown, all we can do is hold our breath/nerve (delete the appropriate one) and limp to the end of the month. I have been invited to an opening of a champagne bar and then onto to a fancy restaurant in Newcastle (Fat Buddha are they trying to tell me something) but I can't/won't go, because everybody has oodles of cash and know how to behave in adult company I don't have any so common sense dictates that I sit in the background and not play! So again I feel anger welling up in me I should be in a comfortable place I shouldn't have to sit it out, I'm just as good as the rest of the people, but I always feel like the grubby faced kid with his face pressed into the window looking in from the outside!
What will I do ? well what I always do I will bottle it up and push it as far down as I possibly can and try (hahaha) and move on with my life, I will try and keep it together because that's the adult thing to do but I feel like all the time that I'm picking at threads on a thread bare coat and the problem is if I pick at the wrong thread it will be me that unravels. Its time to take stock or even just a deep breath before I jump off into the darkness I have the well being of others to consider so its time for me to grow a set and man up and get on with it! I don't think the writing has been helping as much as I thought as the amount of bile that has been pouring out of me would rate as a bigger ecological problem than BP had in the gulf of mexico and although my intention was to add to previously written stuff and hopefully polish it and make it happier (hahaha never going to happen) I have decided to jettison the fourteen chapters as they really are unfit for human consumption. so I have decided this shall be the last unhappy blog I write for a while (they can never always be happy jolly go lucky affairs) and by Friday I intend to be happy (well that's if the medication kicks in...actually nah lets not go there) remember I'm OK but there are always others who could do with your help or your prayers so until then Toodles!
Thursday 9 August 2012
Pure White Light
This potentially could backfire but I really do need to vent my spleen, and once I have done that I think I need to go and apologise(actually I know I need to) to my wife as I have been just a tad grumpy since Monday and major pain in he arse since I left work today, but as always I digress!
The Tee Hee Club outing was(as always) a huge success even though we had to go around the houses to get to our final destination and I had to endure the wife screaming like a banshee at all concerned (the rain the road the car in front the car behind the blue car parked twelve miles back I'm sure you get the picture) we had done some (not very) fancy footwork to get there and to be truthful I didn't care, I wanted (and got) great company great craic! the bill could wait (yeah right) I went to bed a happy little camper with a quick turn around and an early rise work couldn't be that bad!
I arrived on Monday and dealt with some nuggets and ploughed on with remodelling plans for the office and then hit a wall as I read an email that made my blood boil, it was a blanket email to all employees (18000 worldwide at the last count) that the company would this week (yes that's to all employees) be taken through their own individual contracts and that if there was anything that you don't understand, now was the time to ask and that a number of items would be discussed with individuals and their own special requirements!!!! after asking some pertinent questions to various people further up the food chain (no comment was the reply) this didn't look good! nothing like kicking your staff in the nuts, thankfully the run in for us would be quite short compared to others, we just have to hold our breath until today!
The bill came back to bite us in the ass and me and the wife went into our separate corners waiting for the bell to go Ding! which thankfully it didn't because it would have been a time of recriminations over stupid little things that would have ended with both of us losing, so thankfully we both (for once) took a deep breath and shadow boxed the rest of the week, my fault entirely,I will put my hands up to it, me myself I, nobody else but me and as I have said in the past, nice guys finish last! and if I can let you in on a secret I really am sick of finishing last! as the week went on I got more and more grumpy (with myself more than anything else)and even most people at work knew to keep the hell out of my way,I like to think I try to do my best for the benefit of the people and the company that I work for and sometimes things like this just piss me off!
So we get to today and I have a full and hectic day ahead of me, thankfully the big boss pulled me in first to get me out of the way and hopefully (for him) defuse the worst offender(that would be me then) to be taken through my contract line by line to have it explained about what I work what I get paid and all of the benefits that I receive, like a child, all the while the sensation that I should be glad in these times that I have a job etc etc (sorry I'm still too angry to put into words how I feel if there was a colour to describe me it would be a pure white light of anger) yes money was available for me to get the pay rise I didn't get while others who do get feck all (continued at angrygadgy.com) got! anyway the top and bottom of it there were one or two things that I do that they want me to stop doing and adhere to my contract, now I have no issue with what they have asked me to do (mind you they didn't say feck all about me blasting rock music at insane levels in my office woo hoo result!) its the manner in which me as an older person was spoken to, if I was a younger bloke with no mortgage or bad debts (the size of Spain's as of this morning)if I had a full head of hair (oh all right you get the fecking picture) I should have knocked the chinless wonder on his arse and asked him about that and what it says in my contract about that?
I didn't I sat and fumed and just sat staring at them I'm sure they were glad when I stomped out full of piss and vinegar for all of about ten minutes, then I realised what the score was for me and my family and I swallowed my pride and sold my soul to the company store another day older and deeper in debt, the lure of the pay rise is enough to keep me in line, but it's just out of reach and slipping through my fingers it's there I have been told it's there I will get it when I start to toe the line again and do what I do everyday (work fecking hard I don't need to be blackmailed you bunch of Twunts). Because of what has transpired this week we are just slightly out of touch with the real world and we really do need to pull our horns in, again this is our problem nobody else's I'm a big boy, but the cold hard truth is that social occasions until the pay rise comes in will be fecking rare, this was the sticking point with the wife, and trust me I work bloody hard so the chance of a few pints with some good friends just about gets me through the week, I'm the last person who wants to curtail those evenings but the straw that has broke the camels back has been the loss of the bursary for the youngest I travel with my lift because I can't afford to pay the bus fare every week he is a third of the cost thankfully, this has to stop after my little conversation I have to be available to be on site when work want me not when I want to be! I have to do the job the prescribed way even if it means an over run and will cost us on the contract (which in itself bleeds back onto my wage as more than ten percent is dependant of me coming on time and within budget) talk about tying my fecking hands, on top of all this shite I saw a report that proves that I (and it names me personally) have saved a partner in the work relationship on site some where between ....lets not go there but a ten per cent bonus would have got me retired that's how much I have saved them not to mention what I have saved my own company and they continue with the penny pinching and twisting that extra drop of blood out of my poor diseased heart!
I felt aggrieved if only for a little while, but some people got hammered (they only have themselves to blame) and some people even lost their jobs (not on our site but still people who I deal with daily) things have changed and although I don't agree that it was the right way to go about it! I saw the signs a few months ago and I should have realised that the storm clouds just off the shore didn't just sit there because they wanted to they sat there because they could, and they came roaring back in at a ferocious pace, times are hard for some people boys and girls batten down the hatches, try and set your deep anchors for the storm could be here a while, no matter what fancy footwork yo do only your own actions will save the day! now we have to knuckle down and just get on with it even if we have to go against the flow of the tide, my friends know we love them, we just might be the distant cousins for a period of time, live your life as it really is the only life you have (because it is) I will not be beaten I will not bow down to any other forces than the ones I want to, I will not be told how to live my life I will scream out from my lungs everyday until we are back on the beach and are sheltered on dry land Foxtrot Oscar to all the chinless wonders out there you don't stand a chance I'm a member of the Tee Hee Club feck you and the horse you rode in on until next time......Toodles!
Now to say sorry to the wife .................help!
The Tee Hee Club outing was(as always) a huge success even though we had to go around the houses to get to our final destination and I had to endure the wife screaming like a banshee at all concerned (the rain the road the car in front the car behind the blue car parked twelve miles back I'm sure you get the picture) we had done some (not very) fancy footwork to get there and to be truthful I didn't care, I wanted (and got) great company great craic! the bill could wait (yeah right) I went to bed a happy little camper with a quick turn around and an early rise work couldn't be that bad!
I arrived on Monday and dealt with some nuggets and ploughed on with remodelling plans for the office and then hit a wall as I read an email that made my blood boil, it was a blanket email to all employees (18000 worldwide at the last count) that the company would this week (yes that's to all employees) be taken through their own individual contracts and that if there was anything that you don't understand, now was the time to ask and that a number of items would be discussed with individuals and their own special requirements!!!! after asking some pertinent questions to various people further up the food chain (no comment was the reply) this didn't look good! nothing like kicking your staff in the nuts, thankfully the run in for us would be quite short compared to others, we just have to hold our breath until today!
The bill came back to bite us in the ass and me and the wife went into our separate corners waiting for the bell to go Ding! which thankfully it didn't because it would have been a time of recriminations over stupid little things that would have ended with both of us losing, so thankfully we both (for once) took a deep breath and shadow boxed the rest of the week, my fault entirely,I will put my hands up to it, me myself I, nobody else but me and as I have said in the past, nice guys finish last! and if I can let you in on a secret I really am sick of finishing last! as the week went on I got more and more grumpy (with myself more than anything else)and even most people at work knew to keep the hell out of my way,I like to think I try to do my best for the benefit of the people and the company that I work for and sometimes things like this just piss me off!
So we get to today and I have a full and hectic day ahead of me, thankfully the big boss pulled me in first to get me out of the way and hopefully (for him) defuse the worst offender(that would be me then) to be taken through my contract line by line to have it explained about what I work what I get paid and all of the benefits that I receive, like a child, all the while the sensation that I should be glad in these times that I have a job etc etc (sorry I'm still too angry to put into words how I feel if there was a colour to describe me it would be a pure white light of anger) yes money was available for me to get the pay rise I didn't get while others who do get feck all (continued at angrygadgy.com) got! anyway the top and bottom of it there were one or two things that I do that they want me to stop doing and adhere to my contract, now I have no issue with what they have asked me to do (mind you they didn't say feck all about me blasting rock music at insane levels in my office woo hoo result!) its the manner in which me as an older person was spoken to, if I was a younger bloke with no mortgage or bad debts (the size of Spain's as of this morning)if I had a full head of hair (oh all right you get the fecking picture) I should have knocked the chinless wonder on his arse and asked him about that and what it says in my contract about that?
I didn't I sat and fumed and just sat staring at them I'm sure they were glad when I stomped out full of piss and vinegar for all of about ten minutes, then I realised what the score was for me and my family and I swallowed my pride and sold my soul to the company store another day older and deeper in debt, the lure of the pay rise is enough to keep me in line, but it's just out of reach and slipping through my fingers it's there I have been told it's there I will get it when I start to toe the line again and do what I do everyday (work fecking hard I don't need to be blackmailed you bunch of Twunts). Because of what has transpired this week we are just slightly out of touch with the real world and we really do need to pull our horns in, again this is our problem nobody else's I'm a big boy, but the cold hard truth is that social occasions until the pay rise comes in will be fecking rare, this was the sticking point with the wife, and trust me I work bloody hard so the chance of a few pints with some good friends just about gets me through the week, I'm the last person who wants to curtail those evenings but the straw that has broke the camels back has been the loss of the bursary for the youngest I travel with my lift because I can't afford to pay the bus fare every week he is a third of the cost thankfully, this has to stop after my little conversation I have to be available to be on site when work want me not when I want to be! I have to do the job the prescribed way even if it means an over run and will cost us on the contract (which in itself bleeds back onto my wage as more than ten percent is dependant of me coming on time and within budget) talk about tying my fecking hands, on top of all this shite I saw a report that proves that I (and it names me personally) have saved a partner in the work relationship on site some where between ....lets not go there but a ten per cent bonus would have got me retired that's how much I have saved them not to mention what I have saved my own company and they continue with the penny pinching and twisting that extra drop of blood out of my poor diseased heart!
I felt aggrieved if only for a little while, but some people got hammered (they only have themselves to blame) and some people even lost their jobs (not on our site but still people who I deal with daily) things have changed and although I don't agree that it was the right way to go about it! I saw the signs a few months ago and I should have realised that the storm clouds just off the shore didn't just sit there because they wanted to they sat there because they could, and they came roaring back in at a ferocious pace, times are hard for some people boys and girls batten down the hatches, try and set your deep anchors for the storm could be here a while, no matter what fancy footwork yo do only your own actions will save the day! now we have to knuckle down and just get on with it even if we have to go against the flow of the tide, my friends know we love them, we just might be the distant cousins for a period of time, live your life as it really is the only life you have (because it is) I will not be beaten I will not bow down to any other forces than the ones I want to, I will not be told how to live my life I will scream out from my lungs everyday until we are back on the beach and are sheltered on dry land Foxtrot Oscar to all the chinless wonders out there you don't stand a chance I'm a member of the Tee Hee Club feck you and the horse you rode in on until next time......Toodles!
Now to say sorry to the wife .................help!
Sunday 5 August 2012
The Assassination of Walks With Broken Hoop by the coward known as Shirl!
OK so I survived yet another attempt on my life, so you know I had to blog about it, all though it will be short but sweet, The wife for some reason is obsessed when ever I get a text and as a rule I have no problem with her getting up off her arse(yeah right like that will happen) to go and see who is sending me rude jokes or is talking about work (see I'm boring I know I'm boring) but for some reason the wife assumes that I'm Austin Powers (Noooo Baby!) so she must think I'm a dirty shag about hahahaha(me with my reputation give me egg and chips everyday) and all of a sudden yesterday out of the blue I received a text, wow who would have thought that at some random point in the day that me the short fat bald speccy one would get a text, no hang on the phone is in the other room so how am I going to answer the inevitable question, "who's that?" how the hell do I know but your starting to annoy me I didn't marry into the Gestapo but you seem to have transferred there from some other annoying team.
Now this was like waving a red flag at a bull (no jokes please) and because I didn't jump up and go and find out and report back, my Grumpen Fuhrer (wife) decided that she was going to see who it was now at this point I'm pissed off because if I'm not bothered why the hell should she be, is there something you need to tell me hells bells if I'm not under your thumb I'm at work and vice versa! get a life you mare so anyway at this juncture I was so pissed I decided I was going to beat the wife (as in a race not as in violence jeez follow the story boys and girls) to the phone (wrong move) she picked me up like the Hulk and threw me around the living room like a hill billies trailer in a tornado! (OK so I slipped and fell and bashed a rib on the hard part of the settee ) now because in the past I have broken one or two ribs it doesn't take much to give me any pain, now not that I think I have a broken rib, but I sure as hell have cracked one, how do I know? the shortness of breath the stabbing pain when I move and its painful to raise my arm, what the hell I don't need to do that much any way (only to defend myself).
Now you see what I have to live with I wonder if I can still get the FBI involved in my protection, she is meant to be a lady but she acts like an Reichskriegsgerichts-Wachtmeister sorry still on world war two kick at the moment look it up if your that sad.
So Lets see if I can keep it together and move about, I post this in the knowledge that I get battered on a regular basis and the wife hides it she has had a good teacher when G gets beaten there's no bruises there either, the writing sort of happened but not as well as anticipated and I soon realised that the fourteen chapters will make about eight as I will condense some of it into one big happy go lucky chapter, so don't say that you haven't been warned, it's all usable, but not as individual items. now I have to get ready to go out with the Tee Hee Club to cheer this miserable trooper up (woo Hoo) so again I warn you that it might be a while before a proper blog comes along and as for the name game OK so I bastardised an Arm Pitt film title go figure, play nice and until the next time ...Toodles!
Now this was like waving a red flag at a bull (no jokes please) and because I didn't jump up and go and find out and report back, my Grumpen Fuhrer (wife) decided that she was going to see who it was now at this point I'm pissed off because if I'm not bothered why the hell should she be, is there something you need to tell me hells bells if I'm not under your thumb I'm at work and vice versa! get a life you mare so anyway at this juncture I was so pissed I decided I was going to beat the wife (as in a race not as in violence jeez follow the story boys and girls) to the phone (wrong move) she picked me up like the Hulk and threw me around the living room like a hill billies trailer in a tornado! (OK so I slipped and fell and bashed a rib on the hard part of the settee ) now because in the past I have broken one or two ribs it doesn't take much to give me any pain, now not that I think I have a broken rib, but I sure as hell have cracked one, how do I know? the shortness of breath the stabbing pain when I move and its painful to raise my arm, what the hell I don't need to do that much any way (only to defend myself).
Now you see what I have to live with I wonder if I can still get the FBI involved in my protection, she is meant to be a lady but she acts like an Reichskriegsgerichts-Wachtmeister sorry still on world war two kick at the moment look it up if your that sad.
So Lets see if I can keep it together and move about, I post this in the knowledge that I get battered on a regular basis and the wife hides it she has had a good teacher when G gets beaten there's no bruises there either, the writing sort of happened but not as well as anticipated and I soon realised that the fourteen chapters will make about eight as I will condense some of it into one big happy go lucky chapter, so don't say that you haven't been warned, it's all usable, but not as individual items. now I have to get ready to go out with the Tee Hee Club to cheer this miserable trooper up (woo Hoo) so again I warn you that it might be a while before a proper blog comes along and as for the name game OK so I bastardised an Arm Pitt film title go figure, play nice and until the next time ...Toodles!
Friday 3 August 2012
Feel it again
OK so the euphoria was like a sugar rush and didn't last long although the ideas did, along with a couple of others so all in all the week has not been totally lost, well almost I decided not to go to work today not really a biggie I'm owned a few hours so I can at least claw some of them back, the wife was a bit shocked when I said "feck it I ain't going in today" I don't intend to waste today I intend to type like a whirling dervish today see if I can get that sugar high again!
I slept in this morning anyway.....so that's what it feels like, a quick breakfast and sat here typing this up with some Colin James blasting in my headphones I really do have the need to type my disease ridden heart out! I intend to flesh out at least six of the ideas I came up with the other night, but I have one that popped into my head this morning that I really do want to work on as it has an interesting twist.
Work has dragged me down, actually that's not true it just that all the stupid people that I have had to deal with are doing my head in,there has been some new good people who were interested, but these were outweighed by the knuckledraggers that really do drag me down, people who I am genuinely trying to help but they just run screaming away from me, they must think that I'm Frankenstein or some such monster, A two hour course on the perils of the internet at work and (ahem) blogging was totally unessential to my life plan hahaha again its why I don't go into specifics as there could be some potential telling off hence all the subterfuge.
The weekend beckons and I'm hoping for some Tee Hee Club action, my sanity depends on the little hint of insanity that the club brings means I'm not just a drone working to pay to live, which it seems at the moment that is all I'm doing at the moment, the man has kicked us as a family, this time the youngest got a bursary from college to pay her travel costs, but because I got a pay rise this year, I break the threshold by £124 the youngest loses nearly £600 in travel costs and we as a family who are honest and genuine have to pick up the bill, when we are struggling at the best, now I know other people who lie (they tell me that they lied) who are on significantly more money than we are as a family, but they lie and say that their child is living with a relative and not at home so they actually get a shit load more, this is a crazy world were it pays to lie and this is how we suffer because we believe in the dream and don't want our kids to grow up as a bad and deceitful person, ah well yet again we will have to take the hit but I will admit to the envelope to being at breaking point, maybe I should rob a bank and say that I'm from a broken family...oops lets not go down that road.
Other than that I intend to get along with some music and some typing and hopefully some good company I don't need that much so lets just go with the flow, have a great weekend and don't hold your breath any-time soon for another blog, as I want to get to grips and finish the new book and I simply can't do both at the same time (typical man I know) that is unless something crops that I simply can't keep to myself (me with my reputation?) so until the next time watch the skies and Toodles!
I slept in this morning anyway.....so that's what it feels like, a quick breakfast and sat here typing this up with some Colin James blasting in my headphones I really do have the need to type my disease ridden heart out! I intend to flesh out at least six of the ideas I came up with the other night, but I have one that popped into my head this morning that I really do want to work on as it has an interesting twist.
Work has dragged me down, actually that's not true it just that all the stupid people that I have had to deal with are doing my head in,there has been some new good people who were interested, but these were outweighed by the knuckledraggers that really do drag me down, people who I am genuinely trying to help but they just run screaming away from me, they must think that I'm Frankenstein or some such monster, A two hour course on the perils of the internet at work and (ahem) blogging was totally unessential to my life plan hahaha again its why I don't go into specifics as there could be some potential telling off hence all the subterfuge.
The weekend beckons and I'm hoping for some Tee Hee Club action, my sanity depends on the little hint of insanity that the club brings means I'm not just a drone working to pay to live, which it seems at the moment that is all I'm doing at the moment, the man has kicked us as a family, this time the youngest got a bursary from college to pay her travel costs, but because I got a pay rise this year, I break the threshold by £124 the youngest loses nearly £600 in travel costs and we as a family who are honest and genuine have to pick up the bill, when we are struggling at the best, now I know other people who lie (they tell me that they lied) who are on significantly more money than we are as a family, but they lie and say that their child is living with a relative and not at home so they actually get a shit load more, this is a crazy world were it pays to lie and this is how we suffer because we believe in the dream and don't want our kids to grow up as a bad and deceitful person, ah well yet again we will have to take the hit but I will admit to the envelope to being at breaking point, maybe I should rob a bank and say that I'm from a broken family...oops lets not go down that road.
Other than that I intend to get along with some music and some typing and hopefully some good company I don't need that much so lets just go with the flow, have a great weekend and don't hold your breath any-time soon for another blog, as I want to get to grips and finish the new book and I simply can't do both at the same time (typical man I know) that is unless something crops that I simply can't keep to myself (me with my reputation?) so until the next time watch the skies and Toodles!
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